samedi 31 janvier 2015

How to Defend Your Choice to Be Childless

Children can be a source of joy for all families. It can be difficult for your relatives to understand if you have chosen not to have any - there can be many reasons. You may have made your decision and feel very comfortable with it - but your family hounds you at every gathering with "When are you going to give me grandkids?" or "What are you guys waiting for - you've been married five years!" But they're your family (or friends). Keeping compassion for your family while standing by your choice can be tough, but hopefully these suggestions will help.


Steps



  1. Create healthy emotional boundaries. No one has the authority to demand you have children--even your parents. Or grandparents. You have every right to not have a baby. If this is not what you want (or at least not now), you will have to assert yourself as an independent adult. This is often very, very difficult and fraught with emotional landmines.


    • Relatives may have a hard time letting go of control over you. This is not necessarily being done out of power-mongering. Understand you will always be their little loved one, and they want to spare you heartache. They want to prevent you from making mistakes. But part of being an adult is for you to make decisions about your life without their control, including decisions on childbearing.

    • If you are a legal adult, you have every right to privacy regarding your reproductive choices. You do not need your mother to be privy to your choices to use birth control, for instance.

    • Likewise, you need to politely but firmly keep relatives out of your marriage or other relationship. Your grandmother may have her opinion that you and your spouse would regret not being parents, for instance -- but that does not mean she gets a vote.



  2. Understand (but not necessarily agree with) their point of view. There are several reasons people urge others to have babies:


    • Cultural. Traditionally, the entire point of adulthood in many cultures was to continue your bloodline. Your choice not to can be seen as an affront to these values, even if that is not how you feel.

    • Cultures that have experienced genocide (such as those of Jewish decent) may feel an additional pressure to have offspring.

    • Some families have a special cultural stake in having children. If you are the heir to a European aristocratic title, for instance. Or if you are the last direct descendant of a family line. Or you are part of a family run business.

    • Faith. Some religions place a high value on having children. This may put you at odds with tenets of your faith.

    • Self-centered needs of others. Your mother cannot wait to be a grandmother, and may pressure you to have children to make that dream a reality. She loved being a mother, and wants you to experience the same joy. She may not be able to see that you have different needs and dreams, and is not "owed" a grandchild by you.

    • "But what if you change your mind?" Everyone knows or has heard of a person that did not want kids when younger, and then changed his or her mind at some later point. Sometimes the ending is happy. Unfortunately, sometimes this realization may happen when it's "too late" to have children - such as a woman who put off having children until she was older and find out she is now infertile, and regrets her procrastination now.



  3. Have the conversation with your spouse or significant other. If you are considering a long term, committed relationship, one of the things you will have to confront is the question, "Do we want children?" If you two cannot agree on this point, you may not be compatible.


    • Be honest. If you do not desire a child, but your spouse does, it is best to know this before investing years in a relationship that simply may not work out.

    • This conversation must have "only two people in the room". That means the wishes, opinions, and dreams of your relatives must not factor in. If your significant other says something like, "But I don't want to disappoint Mother..." politely remind him or her that this is between the two of you, not anyone else.



  4. Be firm. If you don't want to continue answering for the next 25 years, you must stand firm to your choice. If you are married, tell your spouse to take the same kind but firm position as yours (get your story straight and stick to it). Being squishy and avoiding a direct answer will only give your relatives hope that you will recant one day. Say something very direct, like, "I know you may not agree or understand, but we've made the decision not to have any children. We'll let everyone know if we ever change our minds."


  5. Give them a reason only if you wish to. The reasons for your decision are your own. You should feel compelled to explain only if you are comfortable and wish to divulge this information to your friends and family. If you don't want to tell them, don't. You don't need to justify your decision to anyone.


  6. Allow them their feelings of disappointment or grief. Maybe you're the last son, and therefore the family's last hope to carry the family name forward to a new generation. If you have no children, your family line will end with you. This can create a lot of pressure for you, and a lot of lost dreams for your family should you choose not to have any children. Or maybe you're a woman who has simply decided that she does not wish to be a mother. Whatever your reasons are, compassionately understand that your family has dreamed of holding your children since you were a child yourself. Allow your family to grieve for their loss (yes, it is authentic grief, a loss to them of a kind) - you're not the only member of your family, and if you value your relationship with them, you must allow them their authentic sorrow. Your decision does affect them. You are entitled to live as you see fit, however, and the fact that they will be sad should not make you feel that you should become a parent if that is not what you want for your life.


  7. Remind them that having children should be a unanimous decision. If there is any disagreement about whether or not to have children between the couple, the decision to remain child-free should prevail. Children should be brought only into homes that welcome, want and cherish them without reservation.


  8. Give careful and honest consideration to all suggestions. If you are dead set against having children, and, for example, you are the last surviving son in your family, unless your family has a history of congenital disease or mental illness, it wouldn't hurt you to hear them out if they come to you with suggestions for compromise. There may be a family suggestion as to how to carry on the family's name (you can always suggest that your sister allow her children to carry your family name instead of her husband's, for example). You don't have to do this at every gathering, but at least give your family's thoughts an honest hearing, and consider their suggestions - it will go a long way toward them feeling less hurt and also let them feel that they had their say in the matter. There is nothing that says you must take any of their advice or suggestions. Just remember that it's your life, not theirs, and they won't have the responsibility of any progeny of yours - you will.



Tips



  • If someone refers to you as "childless" and you find this inaccurate or offensive, you can say that you like to think of yourselves as "child free" or that you "have decided not to have children." You might explain that "childless" often has a sympathetic connotation for couples who are trying to have children but cannot. In that context, "childless" is appropriate, but its connotation is not appropriate for a child free couple.

  • Being firm early on, and then letting it be known that you really don't wish to discuss it further will make it less likely that they will pester you at every family gathering.

  • Research this topic on the web. There are many child free websites and books in the stores. The quickest way to disarm any attack on your character is to demonstrate that you know more on this topic than they do, and having an educated answer for all their questions. For example, if they call you selfish, you may wish to remind them that some people have children for selfish reasons.

  • Notice that most examples given include "for now" or "for the time being" in them. Even if you have made up your mind, this works a lot better than just saying flatly, "it's never going to happen, give it up." Saying "for now", gives them the impression that you haven't completely made up your mind forever, and it will mollify them somewhat. If you state it in very final terms, unless you wish to say something like "I've had a vasectomy, that's the end of it" there will very likely be a lot of hysteria you will have to deal with. Avoiding that is a good thing.

  • If all else fails, make an announcement at a holiday dinner: "I know you're all wondering why we aren't pregnant yet. Or why we don't adopt. Or whatever. We want you to know that we love you all, but having children is a very personal decision for a couple, and we have decided against it, at least for now. Every time you ask us about it, it really pressures us, and we're asking that you don't any more. Please. If there ever comes a time when we decide differently, you will be the first to know." After all, if they can't take a hint, then you shouldn't worry about them getting a little miffed by your taking matters into your own hands and being very blunt.

  • There's good thinking in the old saying "never say never." Although you may believe you've made up your mind once and for all, you are a very different person at age 30 than at 20, at age 40 than at 30. Things - and people - do change over time. Things you thought you would never do, you find yourself doing easily. If you are firm, but leave the door the tiniest crack open, you will not have to eat a lot of your words later on. If you say, "Our decision to stay child free for the time being is very firm. If we make a different decision later on, we'll let you know; in the meantime, please don't ask us any more." it lets them know you don't want to discuss it further, but does leave an escape valve (which may actually serve to relieve pressure on you as well as on them).


Warnings



  • Even taking the small compassionate step of saying "for now" or "For the time being" may allow some small sense of hope to remain. Most people will allow that small hope to fade as the years pass and you still have no children. But there are some who will cling to that hope, and continue to badger you from time to time. It's then that you should firmly and bluntly say, "We made our decision a long time ago. We're very comfortable with it, and wish you could be, too. We're not going to change our minds, and we'd appreciate it if you would stop asking now."


Related wikiHows







source How to of the Day http://ift.tt/1JYhwL3

How to Play Skip Bo

Skip-Bo is a card game for 2 to 6 players that is similar to solitaire. The object is to get rid of your cards while blocking other players from discarding theirs. Since anyone over age 7 can play, Skip-Bo is a great game for families. Keep reading for detailed instructions on playing Skip-Bo.


Steps


Understanding the Rules



  1. Know the objective. A Skip-Bo deck has a total of 144 cards numbered 1 to 12 and 16 "skip-bo" cards, which are wild. Each player is dealt a pile 10 - 30 cards, depending on the number of players. Each player's pile of cards is called a stock pile. The point of Skip-Bo is to play every card in your stock pile in numerical order. The first person to play every card is the winner.[1]





  2. Know how to use the different piles. Aside from each players stock pile, there are three other types of piles used for three different purposes. Understand how each one works before you start playing the game.





    • After all of the cards have been dealt, the remaining cards are placed in the middle of the table where the game is being played. This is called the draw pile. Cards from this pile are drawn at the beginning of each person's turn, and they are used to create building piles.

    • When play begins, players begin getting rid of their cards by starting building piles in the middle of the table. There are four building piles, and each one must start with either a 1 or a skip-bo card.

    • At the end of each turn, players discard a card into a discard pile. Each player can have up to four discard piles, which are placed face up. The cards in the discard piles can be used in succeeding turns to add to the build piles.



  3. Know how to win the game. Throughout the game, the goal is to get rid of all of your cards as quickly as possible by putting them into building piles. The first person to play every card in his or her stock pile wins the game.





    • You can strategize against other players by preventing them from getting rid of their cards more quickly than you get rid of yours. Since you can see what cards other players have in their discard piles, you can play cards that will block them from being able to play these cards.

    • You'll get rid of your cards faster if you play the cards from your stock pile before playing those in your discard pile.




Setting Up the Game



  1. Play at a large table. Since Skip-Bo involves so many different piles of cards, it's best to play at a large, round table. That way everyone has room for their stockpile and four discard piles, and there's room in the middle of the table for the draw pile and four building piles. Things can get pretty crowded if you try to play at a small table.





  2. Shuffle and deal the cards. Since the deck is so big, you may need to divide it into more than one stack to shuffle it properly. When it comes to dealing, deal cards based on how many players you have. If you have two to four players, each player gets 30 cards. If you have five to seven players, each player gets 20 cards.[2]





  3. Have each player make a stock pile. Each player should place their pile of cards directly in front of them on the table, face down. These are the players' stock piles.





  4. Create a draw pile. Put the extra cards face down in the middle of the table. This is the draw pile.






Playing the Game



  1. Take the first round of turns. The first player begins by flipping over the top card in his or her stock pile. The player then draws five cards from the draw pile. Depending on the player's hand, he or she then chooses one of the following options:





    • If the player has a 1 or a Skip-Bo wild card in his or her hand or at the top of his or her stock pile, the player is allowed to start a build pile. Each build pile is the beginning of a sequence, and the pile is "built" when more cards are added in sequential order - a 2, a 3, a 4, and so on. Gaps in the sequence may be filled in by Skip-Bo wild cards. The player continues to build until he or she no longer has any cards left to keep building the sequence, then discards one card to form a discard pile before ending his or her turn.





    • If the player doesn't have a 1 or a Skip-Bo card, the player discards one card to form his or her first discard pile. Up to 4 discard piles can be formed in subsequent turns.



  2. Have the second player take a turn. The second player overturns the top card in his or her stock pile, draws five cards from the draw pile, and continues in the same fashion described above to either build a new pile, add to an existing pile, or simply discard a card.





  3. Continue taking turns. In subsequent turns, players draw enough cards to add up to a hand of five. If a player plays all five cards in one turn, then he or she draws five the next turn. If the player has three cards left after a turn, he or she draws two for his or her next turn.





    • After the first turn, players may use cards in their discard piles to add to the building piles.

    • When a building pile reaches the number 12, scoop it up and set it aside to be added to the draw pile when it runs down. A new building pile may be started in its place with a 1 or a Skip-Bo card.



  4. Keep playing until someone's stock pile runs out. Go around and around the table until a player runs out of cards in his or her stock pile. This player wins the game.








Video


Things You'll Need



  • A deck of Skip-Bo cards

  • Hard surface to play on

  • 2 to 6 players


Related wikiHows



Sources and Citations




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source How to of the Day http://ift.tt/15Uz2AW

vendredi 30 janvier 2015

How to Kill a Process in Command Prompt

The Windows Task Manager is a program designed to help you control processes running on your computer. You can create and kill processes or perform other various actions in Task Manager, but Task Manager might sometimes be insufficient for what you want to do. Some locked processes or frozen programs may not even terminate even if you attempt to kill them from Task Manager. When you encounter problems such as these, you're not out of options. A program in Windows called Command Prompt may help you. Although Command Prompt may seem primitive, it can perform various actions than Task Manager can't such as killing stubborn processes. If you want to kill a process on your computer using Command Prompt, read on!


Steps


Viewing Processes Currently Running on Your Computer



  1. Start Task Manager. Press the key, the key, and the key in consecutive order at the same time to open Task Manager.


  2. View the names of the running processes and identify the problematic process. Click the Processes tab in Task Manager and find the name of the process that you want to kill.


    • Windows 8/8.1 users should click the Details tab.

    • If a program that is currently running on your screen is frozen and you want to kill it, an easy way to find its name is to click the Applications tab (Processes tab in Windows 8/8.1), right click the window's name, then click Go to process (Go to details in Windows 8/8.1).

    • If the Task Manager window does not display any tabs, double-click in the indicated space in the window to show them.





Killing Processes Currently Running on Your Computer



  1. Open the Start menu. Press the key.


  2. Type Command Prompt or cmd to search for Command Prompt.


  3. Start Command Prompt as an Administrator. Right click the first result that appears in the Start menu and click Run as Administrator.


    • If a User Account Control dialog appears, click on it.




  4. Type taskkill /f /im into Command Prompt.


  5. Space at least once after completing the previous step, type a quotation mark, type the name of the process you want to kill, then type another quotation mark to top it off.


  6. Kill the process. Press the key.


    • Command Prompt should display a message similar to SUCCESS: The process "example.exe" with PID 0000 has been terminated.




Warnings



  • Do not kill critical Windows processes using this method. If you kill a Windows-reliant process using Command Prompt, you might cause system instability or crashes.






source How to of the Day http://ift.tt/1DN3Bab

How to Wash Viscose

Viscose is an easily-dyed, non-static fiber made from wood cellulose. Viscose is often referred to as "faux silk" and goes by the everyday name of rayon. Viscose's high moisture absorbency (13%, as opposed to 8% for cotton) and shade depth allow it to be dyed with deep and brilliant colors, but also can make it a delicate delicate to wash. See Step 1 below to start learning how!


Steps


Washing Viscose (Rayon) Clothing



  1. Always defer to the garment's care label. Generally, rayon clothes are fairly fragile, but can still be machine-washed with care. However, some rayon clothes are un-washable. To avoid tearing your clothing, bleeding colors, or otherwise ruining your favorite clothes, always follow the instructions on the care label.





    • Though this section contains instructions on both machine-washing and hand-washing viscose (rayon) clothing, these instructions should be taken as generalities and not as hard and fast rules. In other words, always prioritize your garment's unique care instructions over the ones provided in this section.



  2. Hand wash in cool water. If your rayon clothing's care instructions specify that it can be washed, it's almost always better to hand-wash it than to machine wash it. Rayon clothing is extra-fragile when it's wet and, thus, is less likely to be damaged by your own careful hands than by the agitation of a washing machine. Place your rayon clothing in cool or temperate water and add hand-washing detergent. Gently work and massage the soap suds into the clothing, taking care not to handle the clothing roughly.





    • Never squeeze, bunch up, or wring out rayon clothing to remove water, as this can tear the delicate fibers. Instead, gently shake any excess moisture out.



  3. Machine wash with like clothing. If you're confident that your rayon clothing won't be damaged by machine washing, try to ensure that only similar types of rayon clothing are in the load. Rougher clothes, like denim jeans, can catch on the rayon during the wash cycle, pulling and tearing it.





    • Use cool water and a gentle washer setting for added security.



  4. Alternatively, use a net washing bag to protect your clothing. Another way to protect your rayon clothing in the washing machine is to place all of the rayon clothing in your load into a net laundry bag. This ensures it doesn't mix with the other clothing in your load, eliminating much of the risk of tearing.





  5. Line dry. When your rayon clothing is washed, remove each piece of clothing individually and gently shake it to remove moisture. Smooth out any wrinkles with your hands. Then, hang on a non-metal wire to dry (metal wires can leave rust spots).





    • Alternatively, you can use a drying rack or simply dry your clothing on a clean, flat surface.



  6. Avoid using an electric dryer. In addition to having the problems associated with washing machines (harsh agitation, etc.), electric dryers are also known to shrink rayon clothing and drastically shorten the life of the garment.[1] If you can avoid using an electric dryer for your clothing, do so. If you can't, use a low temperature setting and dry only with other pieces of rayon clothing.





  7. Iron rayon clothing inside out. Never apply a hot iron to the outer face of a rayon garment - this can burn and melt the fibers in the fabric, creating an unattractive "shine" that can't be removed.[2] Always turn rayon clothing inside out before using an iron. To provide additional protection, you may also want to iron the clothing while it is slightly damp.





    • If you must iron rayon clothing right side out, place a cloth between the hot surface of the iron and the garment to protect the fabric.




Washing Viscose (Rayon) Rugs



  1. Have the rug dry cleaned if it is very important to you. Viscose is a fairly fragile fiber and also one that is very vulnerable to bleeding dye. Because of this, it's easy to damage viscose rugs or cause them to bleed by simply trying to clean them. If your viscose rug has sentimental value, it may be a better idea to have the rug professionally dry-cleaned than to risk irreversible damage or dye-bleeding by cleaning it yourself.





  2. Shake your rug outside. The goal of cleaning a viscose rug is essentially to get the rug as clean as possible while keeping it as dry as possible. Thus, before using any liquid detergents, it's a wise idea to try to clean your rug with methods that don't require getting it wet before trying to clean it with methods that do. Take your rug outside and shake it firmly to remove any loose dirt or dust. You may also try beating the rug against a railing or pole for added power.





  3. Vacuum the rug. Next, use a vacuum to remove any ground-in dirt or sediment. Run the vacuum head over the rug several times both with and against the grain, paying extra attention to any extra-dirty spots.





    • If you can, use a head attachment that doesn't have mechanical brushes. Viscose is fairly fragile and the rough action of mechanical brushes can easily cause it to tear.



  4. Ensure the rug won't move while you're scrubbing it. If your rug is still dirty, you may need to carefully wash it. Place the rug on a mounting board or secure it to a table you don't mind getting dirty before cleaning. Washing viscose carpeting requires some scrubbing, so you won't want the carpet to slip around on the floor while you scrub it and you definitely don't want it to bleed dye into the floor or any nearby carpeting.





  5. Use a soft brush to gently scrub with soap and water. Heat water to a lukewarm temperature and combine with a few drops of soap or carpet detergent to create a cleaning solution. Use a soft-bristled brush (like a window-washing brush) to scrub this solution into problem areas of the rug. Avoid hard-bristled brushes or mechanical brushes, as these can easily tear the fragile viscose fibers. Be conservative with your cleaning fluid - the less moisture you use, the lower the chance of dye bleeding.





    • It's wise to test your cleaning solution on a small portion of the rug that won't be seen before cleaning the whole thing. This way, you'll know whether your solution immediately causes dye bleeding or other blemishes before proceeding.



  6. Wash with vinegar to minimize yellowing. Cellulose fibers (including viscose) turn yellow when wet. To help minimize this unsightly yellowing, lightly rinse the the wet portions of the rug with a mixture of vinegar and water. The acetic acid in the vinegar helps prevent yellowing as the rug dries, though it may not eliminate yellowing entirely.





  7. Vacuum again. To remove as much moisture as possible from your rug, vacuum a second time after you've finished using your liquid cleaners. Pay special attention to any wet areas.





    • As directed above, you'll want to avoid using head attachments that have mechanical brushes to prevent damage to the rug.



  8. Optionally, spritz the rug with dilute fabric softener. Viscose fibers can stiffen as they dry, creating clumped, splotchy sections on your rug. To help prevent this, you may want to mist the rug ever-so-delicately with a mixture of fabric softener and water using a spray bottle. This can prevent the fibers from stiffening, lessening or eliminating the dreaded "clumps".





    • You may still find that you need to break up clumps after the rug dries. Do so gently, by hand.



  9. Dry face-down. Allowing your rug to dry face-down lessens the yellowing effect that can occur as wet viscose dries. Place your viscose rug in a clean, dry place or hang it horizontally as it dries. However, note that this will conversely make the underside of the rug yellow more than it normally would.[3]





  10. Don't place the rug on or near any carpeting until it is completely dry. As mentioned above, viscose is notorious for bleeding dye when wet. Thus, you'll want to keep your rug far away from any light-colored fabrics (especially expensive carpeting) while you're waiting for it to dry. Dye stains can be very tricky to remove from carpeting and the bleeding of dye from the rug itself is virtually irreversible.








Things You'll Need


Washing Viscose (Rayon) Clothing



  • Detergent

  • Sink (for hand washing)

  • Washer/dryer (for machine washing)

  • Clothes line


Washing Viscose Rugs



  • Water

  • Soap or anionic detergent

  • Vacuum

  • Cleaning head without mechanical brushes

  • Vinegar

  • Fabric softener (optional)


Sources and Citations





Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found








source How to of the Day http://ift.tt/1wJyp30

How to Join a Guild in World of Warcraft

World of Warcraft is a kind of MMORPG, or massively multiplayer online role-playing game. This means that there are literally thousands of players from around the globe roaming inside the game world. With these numbers, it’s only common that these players form groups among themselves. When players with common agenda come together, they form an alliance, or what is called a guild. Joining a guild is pretty fun and adds to the overall experience of playing World of Warcraft by letting you interact and make friends with other online players. Joining a guild is also really easy; to learn more, scroll down to step 1.


Steps



  1. Go to populated places. Go into towns or any places where there could be a lot players hanging out. Guilds who are looking for members often hang around these areas, like Ironforge and Stormwind City. You can either teleport back to the nearest town or use a mage portal if there’s one near your location.





  2. Identify if a player belongs to a guild. If a player belongs to a guild, the guild name will be displayed below the character’s name enclosed within a greater than and less than symbol (<Guild Name>) so it’s easy for other players to identify if they already belong to another guild.





  3. Wait for an invitation. When other players notice that you don’t have a guild, they will eventually approach you. They will either send you a message either on the Global Message Box or through a private message, both located at the lower-left corner of the screen.





    • Some guild members will just automatically send you a Guild Invite.

    • Relatively, you can proactively talk to players with guilds via the Global Message Box and ask them to send you an invite. If they agree, they’ll send you one.

    • Keep in mind that not all guild members can send invites. Only members with invite privileges assigned by the guild leader can send invites. So if players tell you that they can’t invite you to their guild, they probably don’t have the privilege to do so.



  4. Accept the invite. An Invite prompt will show up on your screen once you receive an invitation. The prompt will include the guild’s name and its guild level. If you wish to accept the invite, click on “Join Guild”; otherwise, click on “Decline Invitation” to reject it.





  5. Participate in your group. Joining a guild is just like joining any other groups. You need active participation to keep the guild alive. Join item and boss hunts whenever you can, and be friendly with your guild mates.





    • When you’re active enough, the guild leader will eventually promote you to higher ranks, such as a Guild Officer.






Tips



  • Decent guilds often ask for permission first before sending out invites. Guilds that automatically send invites out to other players most of the time are just fishing out for more members.

  • Join guilds that have just enough members. If you join guilds that have too much members, you’ll receive less benefits like points and items.


Sources and Citations







source How to of the Day http://ift.tt/1JU0yNO

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Friend

Dealing with a friend who's a narcissist can be a difficult, frustrating situation. There are two types of narcissists, those who are ma...