How to Be Romantic with Your Boyfriend

Spice up your relationship by giving your boyfriend thoughtful gifts, telling him how you feel about him, and more

Romance is a key ingredient to any successful relationship, but this doesn't mean that taking a moonlit stroll or having a candlelit dinner with your boyfriend is the only way to keep your relationship going strong. Looking for new and unique ways to be romantic with your boyfriend? We’ve got you covered. We’ve created a list of different ways to inject a little more romance into your relationship, from the simple to the elaborate. Keep reading for ideas!

This article is based on an interview with our licensed clinical psychologist and relationship coach, Sarah Schewitz, founder of Couples Learn.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• You can be romantic with your boyfriend in creative ways, such as by writing “I love you” in hidden or unexpected places for him to find or making him a mix CD or playlist.
• Make him feel truly seen by bringing him thoughtful gifts or taking him out on a date someplace he’d love to go.
• Keep the romance alive for the long term by spicing things up in the bedroom or by taking time apart to help you both appreciate each other more.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Being Creative

1. Write "I love you" in unexpected places. Your boyfriend might expect you to write "I love you" at the end of a letter or a text message, but he won't expect to see it written in the steam after his shower, in the hot sauce on his morning omelet, or on a blank page of his notebook that he sees when he's about to take notes for class. Finding a creative and unique place to write "I love you" will make him think even more fondly of you when you're not there, and will make him feel more romantic because you've made a special effort to let him know that you care.
   
   • Just doing this once or twice a month can really show your boyfriend that you care. You don't have to overdo it.
2. Make him a mix CD or playlist. Make a mix or curate a playlist of "your songs," or really take his musical tastes into account and create a mix of songs you think he would like. Play your mix in the car next time you’re driving together to give him a pleasant surprise.
   
   • Make sure you know what music he listens to, what music he already owns, and what he likes before you go and do this.
   • Don't recommend your favorite bands if you know they aren't his thing, even if you really want to!
3. Make a scrapbook. Put together a scrapbook of all of your most meaningful memories. Add photos of you together, tickets from your favorite concert, a menu from the restaurant where you first said, "I love you," or notes that you wrote to each other throughout the course of your relationship. This can make a great anniversary or birthday gift, or you can give him the book just because.^[1]
   
   • This book will make him see how far you've come in your relationship, and will make him appreciate you even more.
   • This is also a gift to you! You can flip through your memory book for years to come.
4. Celebrate Valentine's Day early (or late). Who says Valentine's Day is only for February 14th? If you're both busy that day, or if you just want to be romantic on a random Wednesday, then plan an celebrating Valentine's Day on whatever day works for you two; you can use this time to shower each other with love and affection, dress up, and eat something delicious.
   
   • This fake Valentine's Day will be extra fun because you both will feel like you're in on a joke.
5. Act like little kids together. Little kids have an infinitive amount of wonder at the state of the world, along with a healthy dose of hope and optimism. So, take a day to just act like a kid with your boyfriend, and see how much your love for each other and the world grows when you do the silly things you loved to do as a kid. You two can go to a carnival, make balloon animals, finger paint, mud wrestle, or just do anything fun and silly that makes you feel more romantic and more alive. Here are some other things you can do:
   
   • Blow soap bubbles
   • Bake cookies
   • Make macaroni and cheese
   • Watch fireworks
   • Eat cotton candy at a baseball game
   • Go to a water park
   • Make s'mores
6. Take a pottery class together. Taking a pottery class with your boyfriend will be just as romantic as that one scene in Ghost—except it'll be even better because you'll both be alive. You'll be getting your hands dirty, learning something new, and creating something that you can bring home and put on your coffee table, however lopsided and misshaped your creation may be.
   
   • Not only will you have fun doing this, but you'll be developing even more affection for one another.
7. Make a book of all of the emails you've written to each other. If you've spent a lot of time apart and have sent long emails to each other, or if you're just the kind of people who love sending each other emails, print out all of your sweet, funny, and romantic emails and put them in a book for your boyfriend. He'll read over all of your love notes and will remember all of the great times you've had and all of the memories you've shared.
   
   • An affectionate email can be just as romantic as a love note. Just punch holes in the emails and bind them together with thick colorful string and hand 'em over.

[Edit]Being Thoughtful

1. Give him thoughtful gifts. Don't just give your boyfriend a six pack of his favorite beer and take him out to Pizza Hut. Put in a little effort to figure out what he really likes and cares about, and what gift would actually mean something to him, and what would surprise him and make him see that you've put an effort into the gift.^[2] Remember that the best gifts are often given "just because," not for a birthday or another special occasion. Here are some ideas to get you started:
   
   • Does he love hiking or camping? Get him the latest camping or hiking gear, something he's been wanting for a while.
   • Does he love fine ales or wines? Get him a subscription to a beer or wine of the month club.
   • Is he a video game junkie? Get him a new game that's all the rage, or update his gaming equipment.
   • Is he a concert fanatic? Find out when his favorite band is coming to town before he does and get him some tickets.
2. Write him thoughtful notes. Not every not-in-person communication has to come through a computer or a phone. If you're going to be apart for a day or two, or even for a few hours, write him a sweet note telling him how much he means to you or how much you'll miss him while you're apart. Just telling him to have a nice day and to let him know that you're thinking of him can make all the difference.
   
   • You can write your note on a post-it and put it on his mirror, put the note in his lunch bag, school bag, or work bag, or leave the note on his windshield. Part of the romance will come from the surprise.
3. Take him on an extra-special date. Though you and your boyfriend can probably have fun no matter where you go, make an effort to plan some dates that are special and feel really romantic.^[3] This depends on what you and your boyfriend like and the kinds of things that make you happy together. If you suggest a date that would be perfect for your boyfriend, then he'll be impressed by how much thought and effort you're putting into the relationship. Here are some ideas:
   
   • Does your boyfriend love baseball? Take a trip to the batting cages together.
   • Is it snowing just a little bit? You're never too old to go ice skating.
   • If you both want to hang out but don't feel like going anywhere, cook your favorite meal together.
   • Spend a day out on the beach or near a lake. Being near or in a body of water will make you feel more romantic.
   • Think of the thing your boyfriend has always talked about doing. Make it happen.
4. Do him favors. You may not think that doing your boyfriend's laundry on the week when he has a big exam coming up is very romantic, but he'll appreciate it. Romance isn't all about the grand gestures, but about the little things that show your boyfriend that you really care about him and want to make him happy. Ideally, of course, you’d both be doing each other favors; you don’t need to turn into his errand girl to win him over.
   
   • If he's having a really busy day, make him lunch or pick it up for him.
   • Step out in the morning to bring him back some coffee and muffins if you know he doesn't have anything to eat for breakfast.
   • If you're going to the store anyway, pick him up the few items he needs so you can save him the trip.
   • If he tends to be forgetful and has a big deadline coming up, remind him when it is to show him that you're paying attention.
5. Take the time to understand his interests. This doesn't mean you have to tag along with him and his buddies to watch Monday night football. But it does mean making an effort to see why he cares about football or whatever other interests mean nothing to you. See what's behind his love for hiking, painting, historical non-fiction, comics, or whatever else makes him tick.
   
   • Ask him questions about these things, and see if you can come along as he explores his interests if they intrigue you. Now that's romantic.

[Edit]Being Affectionate

1. Give your boyfriend affectionate touches. Make an effort to give your boyfriend reassuring, loving touches from time to time so he knows that you care about him.^[4] Squeeze his hand at the movies; run your hand through his hair when you're waking up; give him a playful shove when you're teasing each other. Don’t be all over him all the time (especially if he’s not super into PDA); just pick the right moments to touch him, at least a few times a day.
   
   • Making that physical connection whenever it feels right is very romantic.
2. Give him meaningful compliments. Don't just say, "You're so hot" or "I really like you." Let him know what it is that makes him feel so special to you. Tell him he has a great smile, that you love his sense of humor, that you admire his work ethic, or that you think he's so good at knowing exactly how you're feeling. Make a point of finding something new you like about him every so often and let him know how you really feel.
   
   • Compliments are best delivered in person, but you can also always tell him how you feel in a love note, email, or phone call.
3. Show him affection when you're apart. If you're spending some time apart, whether it's a week or an entire summer, let him know you still care. This doesn't mean calling him 20 times a day to see what he's doing; just check in to let him know that you care and that you're thinking about him, at least once a day.
   
   • You don't have to talk on the phone every single day, if you're both busy and feel like you're just doing it to check an item off your list. But check in at least once a day when you're apart, whether it's by calling, texting, or emailing him.
   • Text him to let him know you're thinking of him.
   • If you both have video phones or Zoom, make a video date or two each week, so you can still see each other and remember how much you love being together.
   • So, suggest a casual game of 20 Questions when you're apart!
4. Give him an unexpected six-second kiss at least once a day. Even if you're both tired, busy, or just not feeling affectionate, try to kiss each other at least once a day. Make the effort to give him just one six-second long kiss each day, and you'll be upping the romance factor in your relationship, and strengthening your bond as a couple.^[5] Don't just give him a routine peck on the lips or cheek before you have to leave, but pick an unexpected time to kiss him.
   
   • Kissing is the most basic way to let your boyfriend know how much you care.
5. Tell him why he's an amazing boyfriend. Don't forget to let him know exactly how much he means to you. Often, words are the best way to show affection. You can tell him in a letter, or tell him casually over dinner. Make a list of at least five things that make him an amazing boyfriend, and let him know exactly what these things are, so he really sees how much he means to you.
   
   • You can be even more spontaneous than that. If he does something that strikes you as amazing, just tell him what it is.
6. Give him a massage. Giving your boyfriend a massage will not only kick up the sexiness factor in your relationship, but it will also be a great way of showing him affection and letting him see that you really care. If he comes back home after a long day or work or school, make him sit down and give him a good shoulder massage. You can move to his neck, his biceps, and his lower back. Help him relax and get all of those pesky knots out of his back, and he'll be feeling your lovin' for a long time.
   
   • For a longer and more intimate massage, have him lie on his stomach for you.

[Edit]Keeping the Romance Alive

1. Never stop the courtship. Even if you and your boyfriend have been together for years, you can keep the magic alive by continually working to impress each other, chasing each other, and reminding each other why your relationship is so great. Don't just fall into the same old dull routine because it's "pretty good" and has been working thus far; take your relationship to the next level by always trying new things and keeping it interesting.
   
   • Don't stop telling each other how much you mean to each other.
   • Keep up your weekly "date nights," and make sure you leave the house for most of them.
   • Make sure you try something new together at least once a month, whether it's a new restaurant or a new sport.
   • Be spontaneous. Go on a random weekend trip you planned the night before; sign up for a salsa class at the last minute.^[6]
2. Tend to your looks. A solid relationship is about more than looks, and you don’t need to dress to the 9s regularly, but grooming yourself often and caring about your appearance shows your boyfriend you value him and the relationship (and hopefully he’s doing the same for you). Being intentional about your appearance has the added benefit of making you feel good, too.^[7]
   
   • You can make a point of dressing up extra nicely for some of your date nights, even if you're not going anywhere that fancy.
3. Keep your bedroom in a sexy state. If you and your boyfriend are sleeping together, make sure you get together in a place that makes you feel romantic. If you can hook up in your bedroom, make sure that it's neat, clean, and that it feels like it's made just for you two to kiss each other; don't hook up near textbooks or the piles of folders you brought home from work. When you're getting intimate in the bedroom, intimacy should be the only thing on your minds.
   
   • Spice things up in the bedroom now and again too. If you’ve been together a while, sex might not feel as fresh or exciting as it used to, but you can breathe new life into your relationship by asking your boyfriend about his fantasies and sharing yours, and maybe trying to act out one of those fantasies.
4. Maintain your independence. If you want to keep your relationship feeling fresh, then you and your boyfriend have to spend some time apart. If you're always together, then you won't have as much to talk about, and you won't be able to miss each other or appreciate each other when you're apart. No matter how close you are, it's important to [[Be-Independent-in-a-Relationship|maintain your independence. You can do this by pursuing your own interests and hanging out with your friends and families apart from each other from time to time.
   
   • Just going out with your friends without your boyfriend every week or two will help you appreciate him more.
   • Let your boyfriend go out and do his own thing now and again too and he'll appreciate you—and feel more romantic—even more.
5. Do activities that raise your adrenaline together. If you and your boyfriend do something romantic together that gets your blood pumping and makes you feel good, you will be guaranteed to feel more sexy and romantic. This can take the form of any kind of exercise such as long walks, hiking, biking, running, yoga, ballroom dancing, or just going to the gym together.
   
   • A couple that works out together stays together. And stays in shape.^[8]
   • Raising your adrenaline will also put you in a better mood, and will make you more fond of the person you're with.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Buy Your Girlfriend the Perfect Gift
• Get Rid of Your Boyfriend's Game Addiction
• Get Your Girlfriend to Play Video Games
• Keep a Man in Love with You
• Sneak Your Arm Around Your Date

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://hative.com/romantic-scrapbook-ideas-for-boyfriend/
2. ↑ [v160997_b02]. 15 April 2019.
3. ↑ [v160997_b02]. 15 April 2019.
4. ↑ [v160997_b02]. 15 April 2019.
5. ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-six-second-kiss/
6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201010/10-ways-make-your-relationship-magically-romantic
7. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25367114/
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201401/5-reasons-why-couples-who-sweat-together-stay-together

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How to Achieve Your Full Potential

Once you've developed your full potential, it is time to work toward achieving it. It will take planning, time, and effort, but you can do it! Achieving your full potential is about committing yourself to the process of self-improvement, not a single task. Sail your own ocean, and you never know what you might find.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Setting Yourself up for Success

1. Define the best version of yourself. At its heart, achieving your full potential is about being the best person that you can be. Since everyone is different, only you can define the terms of success for yourself.^[1] Therefore, it is important to know yourself.
   
   • Write down your values, strengths, and weaknesses.^[2][3]
   • Is there something I have ever wanted to do/achieve/accomplish, such as dancing, singing, writing, or playing a sport?
   • Have I been thinking I could improve in any way, such as being kinder, or politer, more assertive?
   • Are there any physical aspects of myself I could work on, such as losing weight, gaining weight, or building muscle?
   • Try to define your vocation. Voco in Latin means calling. What is the universe calling you to do? So the first steps are to determine your likes and things that are calling you and things that attract you.^[4]
   • Follow your dharma. Dharma, on the macro level, means how the universe is operating. On the micro level, it means your relation to the universe. Try to think of things that fill your heart from your soul.^[5]
2. Set goals for yourself. Setting goals is an important part of achieving success.^[6] Research shows that setting specific goals helps people get what they want.^[7] Take advantage of this fact by setting both short and long term goals for yourself.
   
   • Write down a list of everything you want to achieve.
   • Check over your list and seriously consider whether or not it is realistic.
   • State your goals positively. Instead of “I want to be less worried about my appearance,” write “I want to be confident about my appearance.”^[8]
   • Be specific. The more specific you are, the easier it will be to define success.
3. Work toward your goal every day. Once you have confirmed that your goal is achievable and realistic, get to work so it can become a new pattern and process.^[9] Your goal may take time to achieve, but you have to begin somewhere.
   
   • Commit to the process. When you focus on the process, rather than the endpoint, you will find it much easier to stay on track. ^[10]
   • Note that your long-term goal does not have to be set in stone, word-for-word. Times will change, people will change, and therefore, your goals will change. It's not an exact science, so you don't need to treat it like one. Allow yourself some room to grow.
   • Create a checklist of things you should do every day to work towards your goal. Do those things every day without fail.

[Edit]Beginning Your Journey

1. Find your inspiration. It can be a person, a landmark, or your lucky charm. Whatever it is, it will make you smile when you wake up in the morning, and it is the last thing you want to see before you fall asleep at night. Discover what or who it is and treasure it.
   
   • To find inspiration, try disconnecting from your usual routine.^[11]
   • Listen to music.
   • Spend time in nature ^[12][13]
   • Carry around a small notepad with you. Write down inspirational moments so you can remember them later.
2. Create short-term goals. Breaking your goals into small steps also makes you more likely to achieve them. Achieving short-term goals will help you stay motivated along the way to achieving your long-term goals.^[14]
   
   • Write your short-term goals down on a calendar. Use the calendar to hold yourself accountable for achieving your short-term goals.
   • In order to get yourself in a mindset for success, make your first few short-term goals easy to attain.^[15]
   • That being said, once you get going, do challenge yourself. Whenever you feel like something is getting too easy to do, take it up a notch. Once you get in the habit of pushing yourself, it will be easier to continue making progress on your goals.
3. Be confident. Being confident will help you achieve your goals. Although believing is not enough on its own, negative thoughts will slow you down. The old adage is true: fake it until you make it!^[16]
   
   • Take care of yourself. Dress well, brush your hair, sit with good posture, and groom regularly.^[17]
   • Think positively. When you have a negative thought, rephrase it positively.
   • Do not compare yourself to others. Instead of dwelling on how you stack up to other people, focus on yourself and your goals.^[18] You must determine what your levels of success are, without living by anyone else's standards. Do not let your levels of success be inflicted upon you.^[19]
4. Accept changes as they happen. On the way to developing your full potential, things in your life will change. If you become stuck in your ways, your personal development will stagnate.
   
   • Focus on the things that you can influence and then do them.
   • As before, remember you are engaging in a process.
   • Adapt to new circumstances by setting new goals.
   • Be open to learning new things. ^[20]

[Edit]Achieving Your Potential in the Long Term

1. Accept your failures. Setbacks and failures will happen; they're a natural part of life. Failures are simply a way of showing you what works and what does not. They will help you figure out what you are capable of, and what needs work as you move toward achieving your goal(s).
   
   • Do not take failure personally. Failure to achieve a goal does not mean you are a failure as a person.
   • Move on. After you have learned from your failed attempt, let the failure go.
   • One way to keep your morale high is to look at any setbacks as learning opportunities. Failing once does not mean you will fail in the future. In fact, having failed, you are now more prepared to succeed the next time.
   • Visualize your past successes. This can give you the mental boost you need to get past the stress of your failure.^[21]
2. Get support. Whether you are dealing with addiction, obsession, or any crisis, it helps to have external support. This could mean friends, family, coworkers, or buddies at the gym. You do not have to do it alone.
   
   • Tell someone you see frequently about your goals.
   • When the people in your life know about your goals, they can help you achieve them and hold you accountable. Sometimes our willpower fails us, but the people around us can help. ^[22]
3. Trust your intuition. Intuition comes from experience and instinct. Although you must be open to change, you should also be willing to trust your own experience and knowledge.
   
   • Trust your experience, but be open to new experiences too.
   • Your intuition can help you make better decisions.
   • Remember that intuition and contemplation are not mutually exclusive. You can use your intuition to help inform your decision-making process, even when you are not relying on it fully.^[23]
   • Intuition is a helpful tool for making quick decisions. This can free you up to work on other important goals. You do not need to dwell on every decision, but acting on intuition does not mean making the decision lightly either.
   • In your journal, keep a list of the times your intuition helped you. Reference your journal when you are working through a problem.
4. Never stop. Achieving your full potential is a lifelong process. You will achieve many goals along the way, but always stay committed to the process of self-improvement. Our abilities are not static and fixed.
   
   • Even after you achieve your goals, continue to abide by the checklist you created earlier. This will help you continue to progress even further than you thought you could.
   • Failure is not absolute. Samuel Beckett wrote: “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”^[24] Follow this simple premise and you will be able to continue to work toward achieving your full potential.

[Edit]Tips

• Remember that this is a simple guide. You'll have to twist and tweak this to fit your specific goals in mind. As mentioned before, everyone's full potential is variable, so find yours and work toward it in the best way that you can.
• Love yourself. Don't expect people to respect and accept you if you can't respect and accept yourself!
• Smile and be positive. It's a phrase that's used way too much, but that's because it's true. Smile at a stranger on the street just once, and your mood will lift. Whether you're on your way to the court or the office, keeping a generally kind and accepting attitude will be inspiring to you and everyone around you.
• Know the difference between developing your full potential and achieving it: You'll develop full potential as you find out what it is and how to go about working toward it. Achieving it is doing your best to get as close as you can to the potential you envision.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• How to Develop Your Full Potential
• How to Live Life to the Fullest
• How to Set Goals
• How to Set Goals for Life
• How to Accept Life the Way It Is
• How to Achieve Short Term Goals
• How to Accomplish a Goal
• How to Enjoy Life
• How to Live in the Moment
• How to Be the Best You Can Be
• How to Develop Emotional Intelligence

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
2. ↑ https://hbr.org/2008/07/reaching-your-potential
3. ↑ [v162157_b01] 17 June 2022.
4. ↑ [v162157_b01] 17 June 2022.
5. ↑ [v162157_b01] 17 June 2022.
6. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals
9. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
10. ↑ https://hbr.org/2011/02/nine-things-successful-people
11. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/living/need-inspiration-here-are-9-ways-to-find-it/230064
12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201402/how-unleash-your-creativity-and-find-inspiration-today
13. ↑ [v162157_b01] 17 June 2022.
14. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/living/why-our-brains-like-short-term-goals/225356
15. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201402/how-unleash-your-creativity-and-find-inspiration-today
16. ↑ [v162157_b01] 17 June 2022.
17. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4535518/
18. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/confidence.html
19. ↑ [v162157_b01] 17 June 2022.
20. ↑ https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/7-reasons-why-continuous-learning-important-amit-nagpal/
21. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/growing-a-business/4-visualization-techniques-that-can-propel-your-success/283241
22. ↑ https://extension.psu.edu/using-social-support-to-help-our-healthy-behavior-goals
23. ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/intuition-its-more-than-a-feeling.html
24. ↑ Samuel Beckett, Westward Ho! (1983)

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How to Know if a Hug Is Romantic

Decode the real meaning behind that hug from your crush

Hugs can be so ambiguous! If you received a hug from someone and you're wondering what it meant, we're here to help. We talked to romance and relationship experts to get the scoop on figuring out if a hug is romantic or platonic (some of the signs they shared are actually pretty surprising!). Keep reading to figure out what that hug really meant so you know how to move forward.

[Edit]How to Tell if a Hug is Romantic

If the hug is only a short, light squeeze, it's probably just a friendly gesture. But if the person hugs you tightly, puts their arms around your waist, presses your lower bodies together, or holds on for a long time, there's a good chance the hug is romantic.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Physical closeness

1. The tighter the squeeze, the more affection the person has for you. The affection of a tight hug can be friendly or romantic, though, so it’s probably best not to judge based on pressure alone. The exception is if they gave you a super limp or loose hug since that usually implies neutral feelings rather than romantic ones.^[1]
   
   • Consider how much space was between your bodies. Did they press their body against yours? If so, they might have romantic feelings for you. If they pressed their hips or pelvis against yours, they’re almost certainly into you.
   • A loose or rigid hug is a little different than a gentle hug. A warm, gentle hug could be a sign of tenderness or friendship.^[2]

[Edit]Arm placement

1. Did they use one or both arms to hug you? One arm around the neck or shoulder is usually a buddy hug. If they hug with both arms around your neck, consider other things like how tightly they squeezed you and what other body parts were touching during the hug. If they came in under your armpits and put both arms around your upper body, that’s pretty friendly.^[3]
   
   • On the other hand, putting both arms around your waist and pulling you closer can definitely indicate romantic feelings.

[Edit]Hand position

1. Generally, the lower the hands, the higher the physical attraction. If their arms encircle your waist and they press their hands against your lower back, that might be a romantic hug—especially if they draw your lower body closer to theirs. It’s harder to tell if they press their hands against your upper back, though, since friends often do that.^[4]
   
   • If they touch your butt or stroke your hair, they’re probably into you! Dating Coach Cher Gopman affirms that “a little bit of hair touching…is a sign of flirting.”^[5]
   • Gentle touches on the “hands, back, or any part of your body are also a good indication” that your hugger may want something more, adds dating coach and matchmaker Laura Bilotta.^[6]

[Edit]Body positioning

1. Is this a face-to-face, around-the-shoulders, or from-behind hug? Hugs from behind are usually romantic. A hug from behind is a really familiar gesture between two people who trust each other a lot. If you received this kind of hug from someone, you're probably already pretty close to them and reasonably sure that there are romantic feelings there.^[7]
   
   • If they approached you from the side and put one arm around your waist, this is definitely a "buddy hug." This kind of hug can be really sweet, but it doesn't necessarily indicate romantic feelings—although that doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t there!
   • A face-to-face hug with torsos touching can be more ambiguous. This stance is the standard hug position, so it may just be a polite, friendly, obligatory hug. However, physical closeness while standing face-to-face may also be romantic, so take into account the other factors below to suss out this hug’s meaning.

[Edit]Body language

1. Was their body rigid or did it melt into yours? A stiff or rigid hug indicated neutral feelings. If the hugger felt stiff or there was an all-around awkward vibe during the embrace, they may be uncomfortable with hugging or they may have felt obligated to hug you because everyone else was hugging.^[8]
   
   • However, if the other person felt loose, relaxed, and held you tight throughout the hug, it’s more likely that they have romantic feelings for you. They also may have been leaning closer to you in the moment before and after the hug.

[Edit]Contact between body parts

1. If only your upper body parts touch, the hug is probably neutral. If your upper bodies and chests touch, that's usually a friendly hug. If your chests and pelvises touch during the hug, though, there's probably some sexual attraction there!^[9]
   
   • It’s a little harder to tell if they give you a full-frontal hug and press their cheek to yours. The cheek press implies that you’re close to each other, but it can be a friendly gesture if you haven’t seen your friend in a long time

[Edit]Hand movements

1. Circular back rubs are more affectionate while patting is pretty neutral. It’s hard to judge on hand movements alone, but the back pat is usually reserved for friends, especially if they pat your back quickly once or twice. Slow circles or gentle caresses on your upper or lower back usually indicate there’s some romantic or sexual interest there.^[10]
   
   • A lot of back-patting usually means they’re consoling you or feel sad for you for some reason. It generally doesn’t indicate romantic feelings.

[Edit]Eye contact and smile

1. Prolonged eye contact and a wide smile often indicates interest. If your hugging partner holds your gaze for a prolonged period of time before or after a hug, they may be sending a signal that they’re interested in being more than friends. According to Gopman, “giving strong eye contact and showing that you're really present in the moment is a major signal for flirting.”^[11]
   
   • Romantic interest can also be expressed through “flirty eyes” that are “open a little wider than normal, almost giving an enthusiastic expression,” adds Bilotta.^[12]
   • Similarly, a wide smile before or after the hug can indicate how much they care about you. While you can’t judge romantic affection based on smiling alone, the bigger the smile, the happier the other person is to see you.
   • If the smiling continues well after the hug, they definitely feel affection for you, but it could be interpreted as friendly or romantic.
   • Little or no eye contact usually means that there aren’t romantic feelings. However, the other person could just have a big crush on you and be feeling nervous!

[Edit]Length and timing

1. The longer the hug lasts, the more likely it is that there are romantic feelings. Take timing into account, too. A quick squeeze is usually platonic. Friends often give each other hugs as greetings or when they part. If you’re in the middle of hanging out and the person reaches out to hug you, even just as a quick gesture, that’s usually more significant and could mean they're into you.^[13]
   
   • Friends usually hug to greet each other and to say goodbye, so you can’t really consider one of these hugs to be romantic.
   • However, if the hug lasts for more than a few seconds without the other person loosening their grip, that’s a stronger sign of potential romantic feelings.^[14]

[Edit]Reason for the hug

1. Hugging at special events is typical for platonic relationships. Special events can be happy (like a graduation) or sad (like a funeral), but either way, friends usually hug each other at these times. You can also tell by looking to see what everyone else is doing—if everyone is hugging at the event, don't assume the person has romantic feelings for you.^[15]
   

[Edit]Frequency

1. Have you hugged this person recently? If you just saw them yesterday and they hugged you, then, too, it's more likely that they have feelings for you. It's harder to tell if it’s been a while since you've seen them, though. A friend might give you a big, platonic bear hug if they haven't seen you in a while.^[16]
   

[Edit]Words

1. Outside of the hug itself, the person’s choice of words may reveal their intent. If your hugger lets out some words of affection before, during, or after your hug, those words may deepen the intention of the embrace and reveal whether or not it’s romantic or friendly. For instance, closing out a hug with “Nice seeing you” feels much more friendly and platonic than “Hey, that hug felt amazing,” a phrase that dating coach John Keegan recommends as a way to express romantic attraction after an embrace.^[17]
   

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Also, hugging your partner can be a nice form of non-sexual physical touch, so both of you know that you value each other and each other’s bodies for more than just sex.
• Don’t assume a particular meaning behind a hug if you don’t know for sure. Body language isn’t an exact science! Everyone has different comfort levels with their bodies and physical touch, and different people give different types of hugs. If you’re not sure and really need to know? Just ask the person if they ever think about you romantically.
• There are some benefits of hugging someone romantically when you’re dating or in a relationship. Hugging in an intimate way can increase your bond, since being in prolonged proximity to each other can sync your breathing, heart rates, and nervous systems.^[18]

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201603/7-basic-rules-hugging
3. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
4. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
5. ↑ [v161196_b01].17 May 2019.
6. ↑ [v161292_b02]. 26 February 2020.
7. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/types-of-hugs/
8. ↑ https://time.com/5379586/people-hate-hugged-science/
9. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
10. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
11. ↑ [v161196_b01].17 May 2019.
12. ↑ [v161292_b02]. 26 February 2020.
13. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
14. ↑ https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/hugs.html
15. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201603/7-basic-rules-hugging
16. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
17. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 18 November 2019.
18. ↑ https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/hugs.html

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How to Improve Time Management Skills

Getting work done, meeting deadlines, and being productive 100% of the time is difficult for everyone. It’s even harder if you struggle with time management. Luckily, there are several ways you can improve your time management skills. These range from simple changes in your day-to-day to complete overhauls in how you schedule your life! This article explores the many time management techniques you can use to get things done more efficiently, including making a daily schedule, getting rid of distractions, and organizing the perfect workspace.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Set clear and measurable weekly goals.

1. Write down everything you would like to accomplish. Review your list and prioritize what absolutely has to get done that week, such as a task with a looming deadline. Setting specific goals helps keep you motivated and will make you feel extra accomplished when you’ve achieved everything you set out to do.
   
   • Challenge yourself to complete more than you think you can, but don’t go overboard. If you have a massive research paper due on Friday, it’s probably not the time to add organizing your entire home and writing a novel to your list.
   • Instead, try setting the goals of finishing your research paper, organizing your closet, and writing ten pages of your novel.

[Edit]Create a daily schedule to organize tasks.

1. Use a calendar or a piece of paper for scheduling. Map out exactly how you want to use your time each day, leaving nothing out of your schedule. Include how much time you would like to spend on each task. For example, start your schedule with something like, “7:30 AM - 8:00 AM: Wake up and eat breakfast.” Follow that with the first major task of your day, such as “8:00 AM - 8:30 AM: Answer emails.”^[1]
   
   • You may not follow your schedule exactly, as life can sometimes surprise you with how long a task will take. Regardless, a schedule is a great guideline for keeping you on track to reach your weekly goals.
   • Try using a paper planner or writing out a weekly schedule to keep yourself on track.

[Edit]Prioritize daily tasks by importance.

1. Pick the hardest or most pressing task of the day to do first. Let’s say you’ve got a colossal amount of homework to do, and you don’t know where to start. Review the due dates of your assignments as well as the difficulty level of each one, and prioritize accordingly. Getting a difficult, time consuming assignment out of the way first will make you feel accomplished and ready to tackle the rest of your to-do list!^[2]
   
   • For example, if you have a massive math assignment due tomorrow and some quick vocabulary worksheets due at the end of the week, start with the math homework.

[Edit]Concentrate on one task at a time.

1. It’s hard to get things done when you’re doing too many things at once. As you cross things off your to-do list, keep your mind focused on the task at hand. Shut out thoughts about your other responsibilities, and avoid going back and forth between unrelated duties. It’s much more efficient to tackle one responsibility at a time. ^[3]
   
   • For example, instead of answering emails and returning phone calls at the same time, answer all of your emails before you make your phone calls.
   • Switching back and forth between tasks is more work for your brain and slows down the process.

[Edit]Minimize distractions and interruptions.

1. Give each task your full attention. Turn off any distractions such as email, phone, and social media notifications. You should also eliminate noise, such as a nearby TV or radio. Set aside time when you don’t want to be disturbed and don’t address any interruptions unless it's absolutely necessary.^[4]
   
   • For example, if you plan to write for 45 minutes, don’t answer your phone or respond to any emails during this time. Once the 45 minutes are up, you can check your email.
   • Social media is a big distraction. Schedule social media time throughout the day and stay away from it unless it is during a scheduled time block.

[Edit]Take short breaks so you don't burn out.

1. You can't work or be productive 24 hours a day. Schedule breaks throughout your day to give yourself some time to rest and relax. A break allows you to recharge and come back to a task with a fresh perspective. Try to do something on your break that is completely unrelated to your task, like drawing a picture, strumming a guitar, or playing a game of chess on your phone! You may also consider:^[5]
   
   • Calling a friend
   • Taking a walk
   • Meditating or doing some stretching

[Edit]Delegate tasks that others can handle for you.

1. You don't have to do everything yourself! Allowing another person to take care of something gives you a chance to devote yourself to your other tasks while still getting everything done. Be sure you delegate to someone reliable and trustworthy! You don’t want to worry about whether the person will actually get it done.
   
   • Remember that delegating is a sign of strength and intelligence, not weakness. Everyone has to ask for help sometimes!

[Edit]Track your time with a journal or app.

1. Carry a notebook and write down everything you do and for how long. Alternatively, download a free time tracking app like Due Time Tracking, Calendar, or TopTracker to keep tabs on how you spend each minute.^[6] Make sure you are honest. At the end of the day, review how you spent your time. Do this every day for a week to get a good picture of how you typically spend your day. At the end of the week, consider making changes if you find you spent way too many minutes (or even hours) checking social media or surfing the web.^[7]
   
   • It’s best to track your time for a few days in a row to get an honest look at your schedule. Some days you may attend a birthday dinner or a doctor’s appointment, which aren’t everyday tasks and could throw off your schedule.

[Edit]Review your task list at the end of each day.

1. Take note of what you completed as well as what still needs to get done. Cross off the tasks you finished and make a new to-do list for the next day, starting with what you didn’t accomplish. Making time for this extra step each night helps you celebrate what you achieved while keeping your goals for the next day in mind. It can also help you get a better idea of what tasks take the most time. Use that information to reassess how much time you should give yourself to complete certain tasks.^[8]
   
   • It’s completely okay to find that you didn’t get all of your tasks done! Remember that tomorrow is a new day. Keep pushing yourself to meet your goals!

[Edit]Motivate yourself with rewards.

1. At the start of a task, promise yourself a reward at the end of it. For example, if you have a writing assignment you need to complete but are in no mood to do, allow yourself to go on a 20-minute walk to a nearby park once you’re done with the assignment!
   
   • Make sure your reward is something that you really enjoy.
   • Your reward should never cause a setback or get you off track. For example, going to the movies or taking the rest of the day off after completing a 30-minute task may not be a good idea.

[Edit]Say no to extra projects if your plate is full.

1. It’s easy to take on more than you can handle. Be realistic when agreeing to new responsibilities, keeping what you have to get done already in mind. For example, if your schedule is fully booked with classes and soccer practice during the school week, it may not be the best time to join another club.^[9]
   
   • Learn to say “no." If you cannot say no, be honest about your time constraints. For example, if someone asks you to get something done by the end of the day, you may say, “I'm a little overloaded right now, but I can have it to you by the end of tomorrow.”
   • Over-scheduling can also lead to stress. When you are stressed, you become less productive.

[Edit]Take advantage of your downtime.

1. Make a quick list when you’ve got extra time. For example, try using the bus ride to work or school to do some extra planning. This is especially helpful if you find yourself particularly stressed out about your responsibilities during your leisure time!^[10]
   
   • Don't devote all of your downtime to planning and organizing. This could become stressful and do more harm than good. You still need some time to relax!
   • If you have 10 minutes of downtime, start by devoting 2 or 3 minutes to getting organized.

[Edit]Organize your workspace to improve productivity.

1. Declutter your desk or find a quiet, calm space in your home. If your desk is brimming with papers, envelopes, pens, and garbage, anyone would be a little stressed or distracted! Tidy up your workspace so that you eliminate any potential distractions. Throw away any garbage, dust off your laptop and desk, and try organizing your papers in a folder or binder.^[11]
   
   • You don’t have to eliminate all your personal touches, though! Add a few pictures to look at when you’re looking for a jolt of happiness, or consider a cute pen holder or desk plant to give your space some pizzazz.

[Edit]Why Is Time Management Important?

[Edit]Tips

• Try to wake up early so you have a head start.
• Always keep deadlines in mind.
• Give yourself some time off to relax and collect yourself.
• Try to get enough sleep each night. This way, you will be active enough to achieve your goals and work efficiently.

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.nshss.org/resources/blog/blog-posts/time-management-what-is-it-and-why-is-it-important/
2. ↑ https://www.calcoast.edu/news/prioritizing-your-life-how-what-when-why-guide
3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/tips-to-improve-your-time-management-skills
4. ↑ [v161450_b01]. 30 June 2020.
5. ↑ https://workplace.msu.edu/breaks-during-the-workday/#:~:text=Benefits%20of%20breaks%3A&text=Improves%20mental%20health%20and%20well,especially%20for%20long%20term%20goals
6. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_journaling_can_help_you_in_hard_times
7. ↑ [v161450_b01]. 30 June 2020.
8. ↑ https://www.usa.edu/blog/ways-journaling-benefits-students/
9. ↑ [v161450_b01]. 30 June 2020.
10. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/6-tips-to-improve-your-time-management-skills/
11. ↑ https://academicresourcecenter.harvard.edu/productivity

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