How to Love an Overthinker

If you’re dating an overthinker, you may be wondering how you can best show them you care. While your partner may be a little indecisive sometimes, rest assured that there are plenty of ways for you to support and love them. In this article, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about building a relationship with an overthinker so that you can understand and support them the best way you can.

This article is based on an interview with our clinical therapist and adjunct professor, Rebecca Tenzer, owner of Astute Counseling Services.

Steps

Take the lead.

1. Don’t be afraid to make a decision if your partner struggles. Loving an overthinker means that you’ll need to take the reins every now and then. Lean into it and don’t shy away from making the call when it comes to which movie to see, where to grab a bite to eat, or when to take a vacation this summer. You should still talk through bigger life decisions with your partner, but revel in your role as a leader when it comes to the small stuff!^[1]
   
   • When an overthinker does step up to make a decision, respect their choice. Overthinkers have already thought through the alternatives.

Reassure them.

1. Overthinkers often need someone to tell them it’s going to be okay. As an overthinker, your partner may spend an excessive amount of time worrying and thinking through worst-case scenarios. Even if you think your partner already knows you love them, say it anyways! If you get into a disagreement, remind them that you don’t hate them. If they’re worried about something at work or school, show them empathy and remind them they’ve got this.^[2]
   
   • Give hugs and kisses liberally, and do not hesitate to do the little things that show you care.

Communicate honestly.

1. If they catch you in a single lie, they’ll overthink everything you say. Don’t play fast and loose with the truth around an overthinker. Your partner is observant, and if they spot some untruth, they’re never going to stop being suspicious of you in the future. If you’ve had to play games with previous partners, you won’t need to do that anymore. They mean what they say, and you should, too.^[3]
   
   • This doesn’t mean you should be cruel with the truth. It’s possible to be honest without being brutally honest.
   • Communication is extremely important to overthinkers, so don’t shy away from telling them how you feel or what you think. So long as you’re honest, they’ll respect it.

Choose your words carefully.

1. Overthinkers can latch on to tiny things, so speak with compassion. Your partner may not take it all that well if you poke fun at them or crack a joke at their expense. Even if you’re just trying to be playful or throw some witty banter their way, it may backfire. It’s okay to be sarcastic or have fun, just be mindful of what you say.^[4]
   
   • Overthinkers get a bad wrap for being sensitive or focusing on what’s going wrong instead of what’s going right. Being with an overthinker is great if you value vulnerability and want a partner who will support and treasure you.

Give them compliments and praise.

1. Making an overthinker feel valued can alleviate a lot of their fears. As an overthinker, your partner may convince themselves that they’re doing something wrong, or screwing things up. Do everything you can to make your partner feel loved, supported, and powerful. If they’re anxious about something, let them know they’ve got a solid partner who will be there for them.^[5]
   
   • Saying things like “I love that outfit!” or, “You know, you really have beautiful eyes,” can really make an overthinker’s day!

Respect their concerns.

1. Acknowledge their worries when they’re reasonable to validate them. If the overthinker in your life is worried about something, recognize that it’s all a part of their process. Acknowledge that it’s reasonable for them to be concerned about something while reminding them that there’s a solution to their problem somewhere. This way, they’ll feel seen and heard, but not like whatever they’re dealing with is insurmountable.^[6]
   
   • For example, if they’re concerned they’re going to lose their job because they lost a major client, you might say, “I totally understand why you’re worried. I get it. I wouldn’t assume the worst yet, though. Besides, you can always get a new gig!”
   • It's always good to talk through someone's fears when they're overthinking. Talking about legitimate fears can lead to a good discussion, while talking about irrational fears can be a good way to offer reassurance.^[7]

Check in with your partner regularly.

1. Little emotional check-ins can give them space to express themselves. Once a week or so, ask them if everything is going alright in a super calm and loving way. Even if they say everything’s fine and they move on, keep doing it. These little check-ins are important when it comes to cultivating an open and communicative environment, which is important for an overthinker.^[8]
   
   • For example, you might say, “Hey, are we doing alright? I just want to check in and make sure we’re solid.”
   • Overthinkers tend to keep their worries and concerns to themselves. By creating a little bit of space for them to open up, they’ll eventually learn that it’s okay to say something when something’s on their mind.

Be a sounding board for your partner.

1. Asking questions can help an overthinker process how they feel. If they’re being quiet and it’s obvious they’re deep in thought, ask them what’s on their mind. If they express an idea or thought, pepper them with follow-up questions to hear more about where they’re coming from. Your partner will really value your interest in hearing what’s going on in their head.^[9]
   
   • For example, if they tell you that they’re concerned about a friendship ending over a disagreement, you might ask them, “Have you tried talking it out?” or “What caused the fight?”
   • If they bring up that they’re thinking about starting a new hobby, you could ask, “Have you always been interested in this?” or “That sounds neat. How much does it cost to get started?”

Take them at their word.

1. Demonstrating trust encourages an overthinker to open up more often. Overthinkers spend a lot of time arriving at their ideas and decisions, so don’t question your partner or doubt their intentions when they share their opinions or plans with them. You don’t have to blindly agree with them, but second-guessing their intent or assuming the worst will encourage them to overthink in the future.^[10]
   

Open up to them.

1. Share your thoughts and ideas to grow closer with your partner. Overthinkers tend to be very intellectual and thoughtful. If you want to express your love for them, let them in on whatever’s going on in your head! Whether it’s a passing thought about what kind of future you want, or a silly daydream about a memory you have, let your partner know what you’re feeling and thinking about.^[11]
   
   • This is a key part of being vulnerable. Vulnerability and authenticity go a long way to making an overthinker feel comfortable.
   • If you have a habit of shutting down when something’s bothering you, your partner is going to be prone to thinking you’re upset if you don’t openly share what you’re thinking.

Be a perpetual optimist.

1. Overthinkers often lock in on cynical thoughts, so be upbeat. Every yin needs a yang, and a relationship with an overthinker will definitely benefit from some optimism. If you find the love of your life fixating on the downside, try to lift their spirits. Spread positive energy, remind them that things aren’t so bad, and be compassionate.^[12]
   
   • For example, if they’ve got a paper due next week and they keep talking about how bad their grade is going to be, you might say something like, “You always think you’ll fail and you never do. You’re a better writer than you think!”

Don’t tell them to stop overthinking.

1. It’s important to remember that they aren’t choosing to overthink. Everybody is different, and it’s key that you understand this is simply how your partner is wired. Telling them to stop overthinking is just going to stress them out, so try to not get frustrated with them if they get lost in a train of thought. Be patient, give them space to work through their feelings when they need it, and enjoy your time with them.^[13]
   

How Do I Stop Overthinking In a Relationship?

Video

References

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/decision-making
2. ↑ [v161520_b01]. 2 October 2020.
3. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication
4. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
5. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3432145/
6. ↑ [v161520_b01]. 2 October 2020.
7. ↑ [v160987_b01]. 29 May 2019.
8. ↑ [v161520_b01]. 2 October 2020.
9. ↑ [v160987_b02]. 29 May 2019.
10. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/build-trust/
11. ↑ [v161520_b01]. 2 October 2020.
12. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/learned-optimism/
13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/trust-yourself/202304/4-strategies-to-help-you-halt-overthinking

source How to of the Day https://ift.tt/AfoBTSv

How to Be Persistent

When obstacles arrive, persistence can help you move over, around, or through them. The application of persistence to any task is often what sets apart successful people. Spending time each day working towards your goal, for example, increases your odds of success. It’s also important to ignore your detractors and keep going when you are faced with hardship or failure. Being persistent means putting one foot in front of the other, no matter what.

Things You Should Know

• Set specific, achievable goals. Having a goal to work toward will help keep you motivated.
• Break your goal down into smaller milestones so it feels less overwhelming.
• Reward yourself when you hit a milestone. Buy a shirt you've been wanting, go to your favorite restaurant, or treat yourself to a new video game.

Steps

Help with Setting Achievable Goals

Setting Reasonable Goals

Setting Reasonable Goals

Ways to Break Down a Goal into Smaller Pieces

Ways to Break Down a Goal into Smaller Pieces

Pursuing Your Goals with Persistence

1. Set a goal. Spend some time thinking about exactly what results you wish to achieve and be as specific as you can. Establish a time frame for achieving each part of your final goal. Set your sights on a goal that is reasonable to accomplish.^[1]
   
   • As you set your goal, ask yourself not only what you want to accomplish, but why you want to accomplish it. Figuring out what drives your goal will help give you purpose in the beginning, and motivation as you move toward your target.
   • If you want to lose weight, for example, your reasons may include wanting to feel more comfortable in your own skin, be more physically capable, and feel better about your appearance.
   • It helps to write down your goal on a prominent place, such as your wall calendar.
2. Break the goal down into smaller pieces. Divide the goal by a set of specific tasks that will take a certain amount of time to complete. A 1-hour goal could be broken up into 15-minute segments. Or, divide the task in segments, such as a particular number of files to sort each day.^[2]
   
   • Establishing many small goals within a single larger one will keep you motivated and on track.
3. Devote a set amount of time each day to your goal. You might even start by setting aside 5 minutes each day to work on your goal. Then, raise this up to 10 minutes each day by the second week and so on. If you have a swamped schedule, this will make working on your goal simply part of your routine and you are more likely to do it.^[3]
   
4. Place a goal reminder in a prominent place. If you are trying to save money to buy a house, stick a photo of your dream home to your fridge. If you are trying to pay off your credit card, attach a copy of the bill to your bathroom mirror. If you’d like an award at work, place a copy of last year’s award announcement on your desk.^[4]
   
5. Connect your goal to an already established habit. If you already brush your teeth before bed each night, simply add your goal of washing your face right afterwards. You can also water your plants at the same time that you go outside to take out the garbage or grab the mail. Or, drink more water at work by stopping at the cooler each time you leave your desk.^[5]
   
6. Keep your goals fun and exciting. Not every goal that you need to achieve, such as paying off a credit card, is going to be riveting. However, you can make it more interesting by turning it into a game with prizes or rewards at certain intervals. You can even make bets about how much you can achieve by when.^[6]
   
   • For example, turn on some music or listen to an audio book if you are working on a repetitive task.
7. Stay true to your values while pursuing your goals. It’s very easy to get caught up in the moment and confuse persistence with permission to behave in a negative way. Instead, stay true to the idea of positive persistence. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Obey the rules while pursuing success.
   
   • You’ll find that keeping a positive, pleasant attitude will also make others more willing to help you achieve your goals.

Persisting through Hardship and Failure

1. Listen to but don't internalize your critics. Recognize that you will always have people around who will not support you or your goals. The key is to not let their words dominate you. Use them as motivation to prove your critics wrong, or tune them out if they feel too toxic.^[7]
   
   • For example, if a relative doesn’t support your professional ambitions, then you may need to stick to non-work topics when talking with them.
   • This doesn’t hold totally true if someone is genuinely trying to offer you constructive advice or criticism. Other people sometimes see things you can't, and you can use their words for guidance. Use your best judgment to determine whether or not their words will be helpful or harmful to you.
2. Build up a support network. Locate a support group in your area that focuses on the type of hardship that you are experiencing. Talk with trusted family members or friends about what you are experiencing and seek out their advice. Meet with a counselor to have a sounding board or someone who will just listen.
   
   • For example, you might join a social group for small business owners. You can feel comfortable discussing any hardships, such as rent raises, that you are coping with.
3. Accept that failure happens. The most successful people in life have all failed. The difference between them and people who live in fear of failure is that successful people face the failure, learn from it, and use it to spur their next attempt. They persist because they know that failure is simply part of achievement.^[8]
   
4. Examine the underlying causes of your failure. If you are continually hitting roadblocks or problems when trying to reach a goal, take some time to think about why that might be. Weigh your actions and talents with a critical eye to see if they are truly good enough for what you are pursuing or if you might need to work a bit more or get some help.
   
   • For example, if you keep stalling out at the interview stage for jobs, then you might need to polish your interview techniques.
   • Think about whether you're self-sabotaging. Underlying beliefs or negative feelings can keep you from reaching your full potential. If you find yourself getting stuck and can't seem to move past it, check in with yourself to see if you're attitude is the root cause.
5. Visualize your final achievement to stay motivated. When the going gets tough and you feel like just dropping everything, restore your sense of purpose by remembering your vision. Picture you completing your goal and how that will feel. Imagine the congratulations and reactions of those around you.^[9]
   
6. Be wary of escapism. If you feel defeated or downtrodden, you might turn toward the television or even food to escape reality for a few moments. Short, controlled moments of self-care or leisure can be a great way for you to reboot and regroup. However, if you find yourself spending all of your free time “escaping” then you are likely losing sight of your larger goals.
   
   • Abusing alcohol and other substances is a particularly dangerous type of escapism. Look for more healthy ways to shift gears, such as working out.
   • Don't beat yourself up for taking time to let your brain rest and recharge. Hanging out with friends, going for a walk, reading a good book, watching your favorite show, or even taking a nap can all be forms of self-care. Just don't focus on them so much that you stop chasing your goal.
7. Reroute your energies if you determine that a goal is unattainable. This is not giving in or giving up, instead you are being persistent in utilizing your time and skills effectively. Look for a goal that is parallel to your original one or change directions entirely if that is what you need to do.
   
   • For example, you might decide that pursuing a teaching degree is not for you, but you will need to find some sort of gainful employment goal.

Persisting with Requests or Refusals

1. Maintain a consistent tone of voice. If you are making a request, then you’ll like need to adopt a conciliatory and friendly approach. Growing frustrated at the person’s refusals or hedges will only make success less likely. Similarly, if you are the person doing the refusing, keep a confident and clear tone of voice when making your refusal known.^[10]
   
   • For example, if you are repeatedly invited to an event that you don’t wish to attend, keep saying “no” in the same confident way until the person gets the message.
2. Adopt the "broken record" technique. This is a common technique used in assertiveness training. You simply repeat the same continuous, clear statement about your feeling, intention, or decision. You stay calm and avoid becoming angry, defensive, or irritated mid-conversation.^[11]
   
   • For example, you might state, “I’m not comfortable with that.” You don't need to give any excuses or justifications for your refusal. Just keep saying your statement.
   • This approach also requires that you avoid any attempts to sidetrack you and stay on your original message.
3. See a workable compromise as a positive solution. When you ask for something or issue a refusal, it’s unlikely that the conversation will end there. Instead, you may need to work with someone else to find a solution that helps you both. When you reach a compromise, don’t view it as a failure. Instead, it’s another way to reach your original goal.^[12]
   
   • For example, you might ask a co-worker to send you a particular email, but they may not have it. However, they might give you the name of someone who could forward it to you.

Video

Tips

• Don’t be afraid to ask other people for help. They might assist you with reaching a goal or offer sound advice.^[13]

Warnings

• Persistence is not a goal in and of itself. If you view it this way you risk becoming a stubborn person who refuses to see the larger picture or beyond yourself.

Related wikiHows

• Be Patient
• Accomplish a Goal
• Set Goals for Life
• Work Strategically
• Set Goals and Achieve Them
• Stick to Your Goals

References

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals
2. ↑ https://www.inc.com/marissa-levin/10-habits-of-highly-persistent-people.html
3. ↑ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-powerful-ways-become-persistent-never-quit/
4. ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3044531/7-habits-of-highly-persistent-people
5. ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3044531/7-habits-of-highly-persistent-people
6. ↑ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-powerful-ways-become-persistent-never-quit/
7. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/ciocentral/2011/02/07/engineers-ignore-the-critics-follow-your-dreams-change-the-world/#3716100419a7
8. ↑ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-powerful-ways-become-persistent-never-quit/
9. ↑ https://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/emotional-health/visualization-techniques#mental-visualization
10. ↑ https://bothsidesofthetable.com/one-of-my-most-frequent-pieces-of-advice-be-politely-persistent-a5e198f369a6
11. ↑ https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/its-not-nagging-why-persistent-redundant-communication-works
12. ↑ https://bothsidesofthetable.com/one-of-my-most-frequent-pieces-of-advice-be-politely-persistent-a5e198f369a6
13. ↑ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-powerful-ways-become-persistent-never-quit/

source How to of the Day https://ift.tt/4Wsxgho

How to Get a Six Pack Without Any Equipment

Many people find the chiseled look of six-pack abdominal muscles appealing, but not everyone can afford expensive exercise equipment or a gym membership. Luckily, there are a variety of equipment-free abdominal exercises that utilize your own body and gravity as resistance. Follow these steps to get the sculpted midsection you've always wanted, without breaking the bank.

Things You Should Know

• Target your upper and lower abs and your obliques with core exercises at least 1-2 times per week, or as frequently as 5-6 times per week.
• Reduce belly fat with cardio and a low-calorie diet of lean protein, lots of fruits and veggies, and plenty of water.
• Track your progress with an exercise journal, before and after photos, and waist measurements to boost your morale.

Steps

Exercising the Abdominal Muscles

1. Target all three abdominal areas. To get a six-pack, you must exercise your upper abs, lower abs, and obliques (side abdominals). Aim to work your abs at least 1–2 times per week, but you can try including core exercises in your routine up to 5–6 times.^[1] While you cannot target each area exclusively, each abdominal exercise emphasizes a particular area. The following exercises will help get you started.
   
2. Exercise your lower abs. People often find this area hardest to get in shape, so it may require the most attention. Try these exercises to target these muscles.
   
   
   • Scissors: Lie on your back with your legs raised in the air at a 45 to 90 degree angle, depending on flexibility. Place your hands at your sides, and lower your right leg slowly until it is a few inches above the ground. Return to the original position, and then repeat the movement with your left leg. Continue alternating between legs. Try to do at least 10 reps without pausing.^[2]
   • Leg lifts: Lie on your back with your legs elevated a few inches off the ground. Keeping your knees straight, slowly raise your legs until they are perpendicular to the floor. Slowly return to the original position without letting your feet touch the ground. Repeat the exercise.
   • Torso twists: Sit cross-legged and stretch your arms out in front of you with the fingertips of each hand touching the other. Inhale. With your abdominal muscles tight, slowly rotate your upper body about 45 degrees to the right. Exhale. Return to the center and repeat on your left side. Repeat the exercise.
   • Note that when doing the leg lifts or scissors, your lower back should remain on the ground at all times.^[3] Otherwise, you may suffer a back injury.
3. Work your upper abs. The upper abdominal muscles are those right below your sternum. They also must be strengthened to achieve a solid six pack.^[4] Here are some exercises that target these muscles.
   
   
   • Crunches with feet on the floor: Lie on your back with your knees bent at a 45 degree angle and your feet flat on the floor. Cross your arms over your chest or place your hands behind your head without touching it. Inhale as you use your core muscles to lift your head and shoulders off the ground and toward your knees. Your lower back should remain flat on the ground. Then, exhale as you slowly lower yourself back to the ground.^[5]
   • Crunches with elevated legs: Get in the crunch position, but instead of placing your feet on the ground, raise your legs in the air, keeping your knees bent. Holding your legs still and keeping your lower back on the floor, raise your upper body toward your legs while exhaling. Then, inhale as you slowly lower back to the floor. Repeat.^[6]
   • Hip lifts: Lie on your back with your arms crossed over your chest. If you are a beginner, you can also place your hands by your side with the palms facing down. Then, raise your legs so that the soles of your feet face straight up. Lift your hips upward off the floor, lifting with your abs. Repeat.
4. Work your obliques. Last but not least, you'll need to strengthen your oblique muscles. Failure to do so will result in an imbalanced core and a six pack that looks strange or misshapen. Here are some exercises that will help strengthen your side abdominal muscles.
   
   
   • Side bends: Stand up straight with your feet shoulder-width apart. Place your hands on your waist, and then slowly bend sideways at your waist, moving your upper body to the right. Return to the original position, and then repeat the movement on the left side. For a more rigorous workout, do this with your hands at your sides and a heavy object such as a jug of water your hand as you bend.^[7]
   • Oblique crunches: Lie on your back with your legs elevated and your knees bent at a 45 degree angle and hip-width apart. You may find it easiest to rest them on a flat surface such as a bench. Then, place your hands behind your head, and use your core to lift your head and shoulders off the floor, touching your right elbow to your left knee. Return to the original position, and then repeat the movement so that your left elbow touches your right knee. Exhale as you rise up, and inhale as you return to the starting position.
   • Oblique twists (Russian twists): Lie down on the floor, bending your knees and placing your feet under a heavy object. Raise your upper body from the floor. Fully extend your arms, perpendicular to your torso, and twist your torso to one side while exhaling. Return to the starting position while inhaling. Repeat, twisting to the other side. For a more rigorous workout, do this while holding a heavy object such as a jug of water, a sack of flour, or a large dictionary.^[8]
5. Do planks. Plank exercises are important for any abdominal muscle workout because they work all the ab muscles together, plus many other muscle groups. To do this exercise, get in push-up position, using your elbows for support rather than your hands. Keep your body in a straight line, making sure that your hips do not sag. Contract and pull in all the muscles around your middle, and do not let your belly drop. Hold for as long as you can.
   
   
   
   • Keep your head relaxed and looking at the floor.^[9]
   • Start off holding this position for 10 seconds at a time, and work your way up to longer intervals.^[10]
   • To make sure that your body is straight, do this exercise in front of a mirror.

Losing Belly Fat

1. Assess your belly fat. Excess fat has a tendency to accumulate around your belly. Since abdominal muscles lie underneath this belly fat, you will need to shed excess fat if you want your abdominal muscles to be visible.^[11] Thus, unless you are already very trim, chances are you'll need to burn some belly fat first.
   
2. Reduce your caloric intake.^[12] To reduce fat, you must burn more calories than you are taking in. There are a few simple ways to reduce calories:
   
   • Reduce your portion size, but don't skip meals. Not eating for long periods of time signals your body to store fat.
   • Stay away from high calorie, low-nutrition foods.
   • Specifically, cut out extra sugar. Excess sugar tends to be stored as fat in the midsection. Read food labels and beware of hidden sugars in bread, sauces, dressings, soda, and alcohol.^[13]
   • To curb your sweet tooth, opt for healthy choices like dark chocolate, honey, and fruit.^[14]
   • Keep track of your caloric intake by using an online calorie calculator, reading food labels, and/or keeping a food journal. Many apps exist for tablets and smartphones that can help you calculate the amount of calories you should be eating and keep track of how many you are eating.
3. Eat lean proteins. Protein is an essential nutrient for building muscle, because your muscles are primarily composed of protein.^[15]
   
   • The US government recommends that, depending on your body weight and activity level, about 1/4 of your food intake should be lean proteins.^[16]
   • Your body also burns more calories in digestion of proteins than carbohydrates.
   • Healthy options include chicken, fish, and turkey. Vegetarian options include tofu, tempeh, and seitan.
4. Eat fruits and vegetables. These foods fill you up quickly, and are rich in the vitamins and nutrients you need to maintain an active lifestyle.
   
   • The US government recommends making sure that at least half of your food intake should be fruits and vegetables.^[17] The remaining 1/4 of your intake (after protein, fruits, and vegetables) should be grains. Whole grains are best and should make up at least half your grain consumption.^[18]
   • Foods that are high in Vitamin C, such as oranges, kiwis, and kale help your body turn fat into fuel and balance stress-related cravings.^[19]
5. Drink plenty of water. Staying properly hydrated will improve your energy and mood levels, and will help keep you full between meals.
   
   • Medical studies have shown that drinking two cups of water before each meal leads people to eat less, and reduces consumption of sugary drinks.^[20]
   • Doctors recommend women should drink about 9 cups of water a day, and men about 13.^[21]
6. Do cardiovascular exercise.^[22] To burn lots of calories, you should do 30-60 minutes of cardiovascular exercise (exercise that keeps your heart rate up) per day.^[23] Coupled with an improved diet, these exercises can help you shed pounds.
   
   
   
   • Choose an aerobic activity that you genuinely enjoy. If you enjoy your workout, you will be more likely to stick with it. There are many options for aerobic exercise that don't require a gym membership, such as walking, running, hiking, biking, dancing, and swimming.
   • If you don't have time to do a 30-minute workout, there are simple ways to make your daily routine more active. If you work a desk job, use your break time to take a brisk walk outside. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Do chores around the house or yard for 20-30 minutes, or walk to your destination instead of driving.

Tracking Your Progress

1. Keep a food and exercise journal. For any exercise program, a journal is a good way to keep track of your goals and whether or not you are meeting them.^[24]
   
   • Keep careful notes of everything you eat and all the exercises you do each day.
   • An exercise journal can help you see which areas of your diet and exercise regimen need improvement.
2. Measure your waist circumference. Since muscle weighs more than fat, these measurements will be more important indicators of your progress than pounds on the scale.
   
   • Weekly measurements of your waist will keep you accountable and highlight the progress you've made.^[25]
   • For an accurate measurement using an ordinary measuring tape, measure just above your upper hip bone.^[26]
   • Don't measure over your clothes. Relax your muscles and don't suck in your gut.
3. Take before and after pictures. Since we look at ourselves in the mirror every day, it can be hard to notice our own overall progress without pictures.
   
   • Take a photo of yourself every two weeks and compare it to the previous photographs. The changes you see will help keep you motivated.^[27]

How Do You Strengthen Your Core Muscles?

Video

Tips

• Cardiovascular exercises and proper meal quantities can help you get a six pack as well.
• Your obliques are one of the fastest growing muscles and hardest to keep toned so do side planks to keep them toned as well.

Warnings

• To avoid hurting your back, perform all abdominal exercises on a mat. If you do not own a fitness mat, use a blanket or two.
• Do not overexert yourself. The goal is to feel a burn in your muscles, not pain.
• When doing lower-abdominal exercises, make sure to keep your lower back on the ground to avoid back injury.
• Talk to your doctor before beginning a new diet and exercise regimen, particularly if you have a pre-existing medical condition.

Related wikiHows

• Build Lower Abs
• Get Six Pack Abs Fast
• Get Wider Shoulders
• Get Better Biceps
• Do Sit Ups

References

• Videos provided by Brendan Meyers

Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161179_b01]. 31 October 2019.
2. ↑ https://www.self.com/story/how-to-do-scissors-exercise
3. ↑ https://www.webmd.com/back-pain/exercises-lower-back-pain
4. ↑ http://www.chunkfitness.com/exercises/ab-exercises/upper-ab-exercises
5. ↑ http://www.chunkfitness.com/exercises/ab-exercises/upper-ab-exercises/crunches-flat-surface
6. ↑ http://www.sixpackfactory.com/raised-leg-crunch/
7. ↑ http://www.popularfitness.com/exercise/obliques-abdominals.html
8. ↑ http://www.bodybuilding.com/exercises/detail/view/name/russian-twist
9. ↑ http://sportsmedicine.about.com/od/abdominalcorestrength1/qt/plank.htm
10. ↑ http://sportsmedicine.about.com/od/abdominalcorestrength1/qt/plank.htm
11. ↑ https://health.usnews.com/wellness/fitness/articles/best-ways-to-get-rid-of-belly-fat
12. ↑ [v161179_b01]. 31 October 2019.
13. ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennifercohen/2012/03/27/6-ways-to-burn-your-belly-fat-fast/
14. ↑ http://greatist.com/health/healthier-dessert-recipes
15. ↑ https://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/fitness/strength-training/four-reasons-you-should-be-using-protein-for-muscle-building.html#b
16. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/guide/myplate-food-groups-and-portions
17. ↑ https://www.myplate.gov/eat-healthy/fruits
18. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/guide/myplate-food-groups-and-portions
19. ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennifercohen/2012/03/27/6-ways-to-burn-your-belly-fat-fast/
20. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20100823/water-may-be-a-secret-weapon-in-weight-loss
21. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20100823/water-may-be-a-secret-weapon-in-weight-loss?page=2
22. ↑ [v161179_b01]. 31 October 2019.
23. ↑ http://www.muscleandfitness.com/workouts/workout-tips/8-cardio-tips-burn-fat
24. ↑ https://www.shapefit.com/uncategorized/exercise-journals.html
25. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/22b_fitness_tip.html
26. ↑ http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-measure-your-waist-circumference-and-waistt.html
27. ↑ http://www.sixpackfactory.com/8-motivation-tips-to-help-you-get-6-pack-abs-faster/

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How to Build Your Future

Build your future by investing in the present. Take steps that lead to a successful career by being informed and innovative. Make wise financial decisions that will offer stability and security for the future. And take care of yourself and your loved ones by establishing priorities for family, health, and joy. There are steps you can take now to improve career success, financial stability, and personal fulfillment. Building your future begins with building your present.

Steps

Building Your Career

1. Join a professional association. Every field has professional associations. Each field is different. Dues are required. But for students and young professionals, they're often low.
   
   • Inquire into a mentorship through your professional association. They sometimes offer them for members at the entry-level or internship position.
   • Request help in finding a job. Professional associations often have job lists that other members provide.
   • Seek help with your professional development. Many associations offer seminars, workshops, and literature related to the field they represent.
   • Attend your association's annual conference. It's an excellent way to network. Conferences include job fairs and a chance to connect with potential employers.
   • Check into scholarships if you're a young association member (high school and college).
2. Move up the ladder. Make a list of objectives and work toward achieving them. Be its project manager or editor-in-chief. Build on your career by positioning yourself for a successful future.^[1]
   
   • Think outside of the box. Come up with new ideas for your company through innovative thinking. Look at the way things are and think about how they could be better.^[2]
   • Take on projects outside your comfort zone. Taking on more responsibility can help you to learn new skills that will enhance your career.^[3]
   • Solve problems rather than passing them on to other people. Maintain a "can-do" attitude.^[4]
   • Ask a mentor to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses to determine if you're moving toward your career objectives.^[5]
   • Adapt to new positions. As you move up the ladder recognize that the skills responsible for your promotion may not apply to your new position. Ask a mentor to evaluate your behavioral skill set to ensure you've kept pace with your promotion.
   • Be serious at work. Focus on your job and complete tasks with speed and consistency.^[6]
   • Improve your critical thinking skills. Analytical thinkers can foresee problems and prevent them from happening. Take a workshop or seminar that includes critical thinking methodology exercises.^[7]
   • Network as much as possible. Network within your company and within the community to gain visibility and to establish contacts. ^[8]
3. Consider making a lateral move when the time is right. A lateral move within your company or to a new organization can help your career. It gives you the chance to gain additional skills and knowledge.^[9] It can help prevent the restlessness and stagnation that sometimes accompanies too much time spent in the same work environment. There are many benefits to a lateral move.
   
   • A lateral move might pair you with a good boss or mentor. This is especially appealing if your current job doesn’t have either.
   • Moving to a different part of the company that’s more vibrant will lead to more visibility for you.
   • Moving from one organization or department to another will mean that you’re meeting more people, making more contacts, establishing a bigger network of resources.
   • Changing to a different department could lead to more advancement opportunities, especially if you’re stagnant in your current department.

Building Financial Stability

1. Set up a budget that’s realistic and will allow you to follow it consistently. Make a budget that can absorb the unexpected. A budget is a work in progress. Your financial situation will constantly change and if your budget has the flexibility to accommodate plenty of variables you can save, pay off debt and invest to make your money grow.^[10]
   
   • Track your expenses. Log all of your expenses for a month so that you’ll know where your money is going. You can use an app or pen and paper but account for everything.^[11]
   • Allocate about 10% of your income for savings. Better to do a direct deposit so that you won’t be tempted to spend.^[12]
   • Be patient and consistent. Depositing $100 per month means you've saved $48,000 after 40 years. Assuming a seven percent annualized rate of return, your $100 per month deposit would equal more than $260,000.
   • Long-term savings should go toward a 401(k). Aim for maximizing your 401(k) deposits.
   • Apply about 35% of your savings to housing and utilities.^[13]
   • Put aside another 10% if you have specific goals in mind, such as buying a new car or paying for you child’s college education.^[14]
   • Cut back on unnecessary spending. Rent a movie instead of going to the theater. Drop your land phone line. Don’t sign up for cable TV services you don’t need.
   • Use the remainder of your income in whatever way you see fit. Food, entertainment, vacations etc.
2. Reduce credit card debt. Credit cards place you at one remove from your purchases. The process insulates you from your spending because you’re using a card (and not money) and don't have concrete "proof" that you're actually spending money. Credit card debt can accumulate quickly.
   
   • Implement a plan to pay off credit card debt using your budget. Know exactly how much you can afford to direct toward your credit card debt.
   • Pay off the card with the highest interest rate first, while meeting the minimum payment requirements for other cards.^[15]
   • Be consistent in your payments. Many people reduce the amount they're paying toward a credit card debt when they see the balance going down.
   • Pay with cash to avoid accumulating more credit card debt. Use cash for groceries, clothes, vacations and non-essentials.
3. Grow your money by investing wisely. You can use your budget surplus to invest. Invest regularly over time in a diversity of places.^[16]
   
   • Apply 10% of your income to investments. Alternately, the money you’ve budgeted for savings can be split between savings and your investment needs.^[17]
   • Invest in stocks using an investment firm if you’re not stock-savy. Over the past 70 years stocks have gained an average of 10% per year in value.
   • Mutual funds are a good choice for the average investor.
   • Offset the potential volatility of stocks by also investing in bonds and CDs. You’re loaning your money out at interest so the balance is growing although usually not at the same rate as stocks.
   • Consider using an automated investment service. Their fees are low. They match your time horizon and goals with your investment.^[18]
   • Try regular monthly direct debit investing. It guarantees you’ll be putting money aside for investments, taking the decision about where the money goes out of your hands.

Building Your Personal Life

1. Make time for your family. What will you remember when you grow older? Will it be nailing the Krimsley account? Or will it be seeing Ben ride a bicycle for the first time? Make a conscious effort to separate work and family time and be “all in” with your family when you’re together.
   
   • Discuss your work hours and expectations with your boss so that you can set some boundaries to prevent work from leeching away at family time.^[19]
   • Spend time with your spouse and children even if it means getting everyone together in the morning to exercise or stretch for fifteen minutes before leaving the house.
   • Institute a "no electronics" rule at the dinner table so that the family will pay attention to each other, rather than to their screens.
   • Take regular family vacations. This is a good way to focus solely on family without the worries of the workplace that follow you home.
   • Discuss childcare with your spouse. If you’re both working you’ll want to come up with a firm and fair plan with specific responsibilities for both parents.
2. Create a circle of good friends. Lifetime friendships enrich your life. Friendships add texture to your connection with the world because you're sharing experiences, reliving good moments, making bonds with people upon who you can rely.
   
   • Make a list of people in your life who you feel close to. Invite them to your home for dinner or tea or to watch a movie.^[20] Your home environment allows for less self-conscious conversation.
   • Volunteer for a project or group for which you have conviction. Strong friendships are more easily made when you work together on areas of mutual concern and interest.
   • Use your current contacts to make friends. If there are people who you've met briefly through friends and liked, try getting in touch with them through your mutual friend.
   • Join a book reading circle. These circles usually meet regularly. Many of them last for years. Lifetime friendships are formed over a shared interest.
3. Get involved in activities for which have conviction and to which you connect. What is it that you like to do? What activities are you drawn to that seem the most authentic and richest in terms of the experiences they provide? Make a list.
   
   • Take a class that focuses on an area of interest. Cooking, coding, painting, archery . . . there are numerous classes available.
   • Sign up for a hiking or nature club if you like the outdoors.
   • Volunteer to be a big brother or big sister.
4. Take good care of your body. The physical state in which you arrive at your future can be like a payoff from a good investment. Take care of yourself so that you'll benefit in later years.
   
   • Maintain a healthy diet that includes fresh produce, lean protein sources, dairy products, and whole grains.^[21]
   • Eat wholesome meals three times a day. When you don’t depend on one big meal daily, your body will reach a level of nourishment that diminishes cravings and helps you to naturally eat less.
   • Make regular visits to your doctor. Think in terms of “preventive maintenance.” Vaccinations, screenings and regular check-ups can prevent serious illness that adversely affect your future.
5. Exercise regularly. Exercising has countless benefits including reducing the risk of heart disease and prolonging life. Exercising will help you to maintain normal weight. It will tone your body, strengthen muscles, keep bones strong and improve mood and sleep.^[22]
   
   • Try for 150 minutes per week of moderate exercise or 75 minutes of vigorous exercise.^[23]
   • Begin by walking 15 minutes or so every other day and gradually increase the time and pace until you're jogging 30 minutes every other day.
   • Alternately, try aerobic exercise, 25 minutes of vigorous activity three days per week.^[24]
   • Build muscle and maintain bone density through strength or resistance training. You can join a gym or work with weights at home.^[25]
6. Take care of your mind. When your state of mind is good, you make good decisions about all aspects of your life. You feel better about your life.
   
   • Get enough sleep. Try for a regular sleep schedule. Choose calming activities before bed. No electronics in bed. Being sleepy makes concentration more difficult, raises stress levels and increases mood swings.
   • Steer clear of drugs and alcohol. Keep your mind sharp.

Video

Tips

• SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timed.
• Read books to inspire and guide you--choose books written by successful career people—people you'd like to emulate.
• Manage your time well. Respond quickly to business calls. Turn in projects and reports on time by starting them as soon as you receive them. Take breaks but make them short! Be on time for work.^[26]
• Be fluid in your career and the decisions you make. The workplace is constantly changing. So, too, will you as you learn more and become more efficient and valuable through experience and good work habits. Be willing to make changes as circumstances change. .
• Take calculated risks when you're young. Taking risks while you still have time to recover from them makes sense. The rewards are great for a successful risk. When you're older, you'll most likely have a family and the financial responsibilities that go with it and your investments should become more conservative.

Related wikiHows

• Set SMART Goals
• Be a Smart Student
• Have a Great Future

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://learntechasia.com/career-development-moving-up-ladder/
2. ↑ https://hbr.org/2010/03/column-think-outside-the-building
3. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/comfort-zone/
4. ↑ https://parents.au.reachout.com/skills-to-build/wellbeing/things-to-try-self-confidence/teach-your-teenager-to-be-independent
5. ↑ https://www.educause.edu/research-and-publications/books/cultivating-careers-professional-development-campus-it/chapter-5-importance-mentors
6. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/business-news/master-these-15-habits-to-be-taken-more-seriously-at-work/327256
7. ↑ https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/why-is-critical-thinking-important/
8. ↑ https://hbr.org/2007/01/how-leaders-create-and-use-networks
9. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053482218306788
10. ↑ https://www.nibusinessinfo.co.uk/content/creating-business-budget-key-steps
11. ↑ https://moneysmart.gov.au/budgeting/track-your-spending
12. ↑ https://www.nios.ac.in/media/documents/SecHmscicour/english/Home%20Science%20(Eng)%20Ch-16.pdf
13. ↑ https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/new-immigrants/prepare-life-canada/prepare-financially.html
14. ↑ https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_building_block_activities_setting-smart-savings-goal_worksheet.pdf
15. ↑ https://www.investor.gov/introduction-investing/investing-basics/save-and-invest/pay-credit-cards-or-other-high-interest
16. ↑ https://www.sec.gov/investor/pubs/sec-guide-to-savings-and-investing.pdf
17. ↑ https://www.nefe.org/initiatives/Your-Spending-Your-Savings-Your-Future.pdf
18. ↑ https://www.fca.org.uk/publications/multi-firm-reviews/automated-investment-services-our-expectations
19. ↑ https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/work-child-care/worklife-balance/work-life-balance
20. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/building-and-keeping-a-circle-of-friends#1
21. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/how-to-eat-a-balanced-diet/eight-tips-for-healthy-eating/
22. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/physical-activity-its-important
23. ↑ https://www.heart.org/en#.VvvtF-IrLX4
24. ↑ https://www.heart.org/en#.VvvtF-IrLX4
25. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/resistance-training-health-benefits
26. ↑ https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/management/time-management-list-tips/

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