How to Flirt

Flirting, at its most basic, is playfully showing you are romantically attracted to someone. It can feel scary to try to flirt and put yourself out there, but don’t worry—it's normal to be nervous around someone you really like, and there are ways you can seem more confident and become great at flirting. To help you out, we've gathered all of the best flirting tips recommended by the experts. These tips will work whether you're flirting over text, online, or in person, and they're surprisingly easy to pull off. Keep reading to learn how to flirt with confidence and have fun doing it.

Steps

Flirting In-Person

1. Make eye contact. Eye contact is the best and easiest thing you can do to start flirting. You can look deeply into the person's eyes while also taking the time to break eye contact to keep things from getting too intense.^[1] Here are a few ways to try this flirting technique out:
   
   • Get caught looking. Throw small glances at your crush. Keep doing it until they catch your eyes. Hold the gaze for a second, smile, and look away.
   • Look into their eyes when you talk, particularly at meaningful points in the conversation like when you're giving them a compliment.^[2]
   • Wink or raise your eyebrows at your crush. It's cheesy, but it works if used sparingly. Do it when you're looking at someone from across a room, or if you're talking in a group and say something really meant for them.
   • You can also try lowering your gaze and looking up again slowly.
2. Smile. You'll probably smile automatically if you're talking to someone you like, but you can use your pearly whites to your advantage before the conversation even starts.^[3] You can even smile at the person when you pass them by in the halls or just from across the room. You don't have to grin from ear to ear, either; just a simple, subtle smile will do the trick.^[4] Try these variations:
   
   • Smile slowly. If you're looking at someone but not talking to them, try letting a slow smile spread over your face instead of breaking into a huge grin. Slow, languid smiles are generally considered attractive.
   • Smile when you make eye contact. If you're suddenly looking into someone's eyes, toss in a smile for extra appeal. (If it's a genuine smile, the other person will see it without even looking at your mouth — it will crinkle your eyes, and is known as a Duchenne smile.)
   • Try smiling with your eyes, not just your mouth. Make your whole face light up when you smile.
3. Talk to your crush. Introduce yourself — or maintain the mystery (optional). If you don't already know the person you're flirting with, an introduction (or lack of one) can be a great thing to build flirting around. Avoid the urge to have a cheesy pick-up line. Saying "Hi" followed by an introduction or a simple question is much more effective and less forced.^[5]
   
   • If your crush doesn't know your name and you're a naturally gregarious person, try introducing yourself at some point. It can be as simple as, "Hi, I'm [name]. And you are...?" Make sure you get the other person's name. To help yourself remember it, try repeating it after they say it to you. (Such as "Lily. I love that name.")
   • Or, if you want to make yourself seem like a bit of a challenge, work to keep your identity a mystery for a little while. If the other person really wants to know, they will ask around or keep pursuing you.
   • If the person you are interested knows another language like Spanish, pick up a few words of the language before you strike a conversation.
4. Initiate a conversation. Whether you already know the other person or not, a conversation is the best way to move the flirtation forward. The person you're flirting with will be impressed by your boldness and confidence.^[6] Here are a few guidelines:
   
   • Talk to someone you don't already know by starting with an observation that ends in a question.^[7] Try something like, "I can't believe how much it's rained this week" or "This place sure is packed, eh?" What you say isn't important — you are simply inviting the person to talk with you.
   • Find common ground with someone you do know. If you've already met the other person, strike up a conversation based on a shared experience or interest. For instance, you might talk about a class you're taking together, or the train you both take to work. Again, the topic itself doesn't matter — what matters is that you're inviting them to interact with you.
   • Gauge their response. If the person responds pleasantly, continue the conversation. If the person doesn't respond or seems preoccupied or disinterested, they probably aren't interested in flirting with you.^[8]
5. Keep it light. Don't bring up anything too personal when you're talking. Talk about the environment around you, the show you just saw, or your favorite hobbies. Keep personal information (like money, relationships, education, and so on) out of it, unless the person enjoys intellectual debates. Generally, it's best to avoid debating topics personally relevant to either of you (like religion) and to instead talk about topics you don't have a personal stake in.
   
   • It's easier to flirt when you're talking about fun things like your pets, reality television, or your favorite vacation spots. This doesn't mean you have to dumb yourself down to flirt, but it does mean you have to relax and avoid the deep talk for a while.
   • Be playful and use humor. Being playful means not taking yourself too seriously, being a bit silly, playfully hitting your crush, or talking about something slightly offbeat or unexpected. It also means not putting too much pressure on yourself over the course of the conversation.
6. Use body language to communicate your intentions. Non-verbal cues can say a lot more about how you feel than what's actually coming out of your mouth, so make sure you're communicating how you feel. Try the following:^[9]
   
   • Keep your stance "open." Don't cross your arms or legs, as these are generally signs that you wish to isolate yourself from the other person.^[10]
   • Turn your body toward the other person. Stand or sit so that you're facing the person you're flirting up. Angle your torso toward them, or point your feet in that direction.
   • Break the "touch barrier". Casually initiate physical contact by touching them on the forearm as you talk, or by "accidentally" walking too close and brushing up against the other person.^[11]
   • Play with your hair. Playing with your hair is usually a sign of nervousness, which is a good thing if you like the other person — you almost want them to know you're nervous because it means you're interested.^[12] To consciously communicate this, slowly twirl a strand of hair around your finger as you talk, or, if you have short hair, run your hands through your hair.
7. Break the touch barrier. The first few times you touch your crush, be careful not to "trap" them. Depending on the area, the contact should be long enough to be more than accidental, but no more.^[13] Avoid grasping a hand or arm, and instead try gestures such as brushing an imaginary speck of dirt off of their arm, or "accidentally" touching feet or knees without pulling away.
   
   • All of these touches can be rejected without humiliation or offense, so if your crush is not ready for that kind of contact, you will not be forcing them to reject you entirely.
8. Compliment the other person early in the conversation. It might seem too forward, but letting them know you're interested in dating before a solid friendship begins is the easiest way to avoid the friend zone. Get confident, and don't let the opportunity slip by — you never know when you'll get another one.^[14][15] Here are some techniques to try:
   
   • Maintain eye contact while you're complimenting. Looking away might accidentally make you seem insincere.
   • Lower the tone and volume of your voice slightly. Paying a compliment in a slightly lower register than your usual speaking voice makes it seem intimate and sexy. Plus, it might also coax the other person to come closer to hear you.
   • Use your crush's other interests to your advantage. If you know this person is dating (or interested in) someone else, you can use this to your advantage in a compliment.
   • Try weaving the compliment into the conversation. For instance, you could say something like, “I saw you play at the game the other day. I’m a huge soccer fan. How’d you get so good?”
   • Be careful about complimenting looks. People might feel uncomfortable if you focus on complimenting their body. Play it safe and stick to these physical features:
     • Eyes
     • Smile
     • Lips
     • Hair
     • Hands
9. Keep your interactions short and sweet. Remember that the key to creating demand is making supply scarce, so try to limit your interactions with the object of your flirtations. Don't talk to your crush every single day. Make it a special event and save it for a few times a week.
   
   • Don't let conversations drag on for more than 5-10 minutes. The longer they go on, the higher your odds of running into an awkward silence.
   • Let the other person come to you. After you've put in the work of starting up the interaction and sparking an interest, pull back a bit and see if they seek you out for an interaction. This can be a good way to gauge interest, as well as build tension.
10. Ask your crush out. If your flirting has been successful so far, and you want to get to know the other person better, it's time to see if you can turn it into a date.^[16] Here are a few approaches:
    
    • Ask if the other person has plans at a later date. For instance, you might say, "So, what are you up to on Saturday night?" Try to keep this an open question, instead of one that requires a yes or no answer — you'll get more information that way. Don't ask someone what they are doing tonight, or even tomorrow. Try to schedule the date a few days out so that you don't come off as overly desperate.
    • Suggest a specific event and ask if they would like to come along. This is the best approach if you're trying to arrange a group date. You could say something like, "So a bunch of us were going to see a movie on Friday, and I'd really like it if you came with us."
    • Be straightforward. If you're feeling extra confident, go in for the kill without any pretense. For instance, you could say something like, "I'd really love to take you on a date. When are you free?"

Flirting over Texting and Online

1. Keep your approach casual. Don't let yourself get so nervous that you forget basic conversational skills. Instead, try to stay calm and open the conversation in a low-pressure way. If you've never chatted with the person online before, you may even find an excuse for talking to him, like asking a question about homework or talking about a sports team you both like. If you're texting a person for the first time, make sure they know who you are and that they don't feel creeped out. Here are some ways to start a conversation through text or chatting:
   
   • "Hey, how's it going?"
   • "Did you see/hear [insert event you both know about here]?"
   • "How's your week going?"
2. Don't talk about yourself too much. The majority of people are most comfortable talking about themselves because it's a topic they know well. Instead of taking the easy way out and discussing you endlessly, encourage the other person to talk about themself. However, you can and should occasionally throw some personal facts in the person's direction to help them to ask questions about you in turn. The key is to leave it up to them to pursue an interest in things relevant to yourself.^[17]
   
   • This tactic actually serves two purposes: Not only does it keep the conversation going, but it allows you to find out more about your crush.
   • You don't need to know a lot about the other person to do this step. If you don't know them very well yet, you can ask:
     • "How did your day go?"
     • "So, what do you do with your free time?"
   • If you do know the other person a bit, focus on a hobby or interest you're already aware of. For instance, maybe she's really into basketball, or you know he loves to read.
     • "Did you see the game last night?" or "Have you read any good books lately?" would be great starts.
3. Know when to press for more information. You can keep the discussion lively and interesting without probing too deeply on personal topics. For instance, asking your crush what exactly they like about running cross-country would be a great idea; asking them for more details on family relationships or close friendships would be too much, too soon. You can do it in a joking, flirtatious bantering way that doesn't feel too serious, or like you're interviewing the person. Here are some ways to ask for more information flirtatiously:
   
   • "So are you planning on spending all night online or do you have more exciting plans for this evening?"
   • "Are you going to kick some butt in tonight's game?"
   • "I've noticed the cute kitty in your profile picture. Is that who you spend most of your time with?"
4. Compliment your crush early in the conversation. Don't chicken out and skip this step — it might seem difficult, but it's incredibly important. A compliment communicates that you're potentially interested in dating, and steers you away from the dreaded friend-zone.^[18] If you skip paying your crush a compliment and simply keep the conversation on a friendly level, it might be too late next time. Here are some basic compliments you could use:
   
   • If you don't know your crush very well yet, but you're working on it, use a compliment oriented in this direction. Say something like, "It's so easy to talk to you," or "I kind of can't believe I'm getting to know someone as interesting as you."
   • Try weaving the compliment into the conversation. For instance, if the girl you like is talking about how she had a terrible day, you could say something like "I hate seeing someone as beautiful as you feel so unhappy. What can I do to help?"
5. Be bold. If none of the suggestions above appeal to you, go for broke and pay your crush a bold compliment. Try these possibilities, using the adjective that fits your crush best or substituting your own:
   
   • "I hope you know you're gorgeous/beautiful/amazing/my favorite person to talk to/etc."
   • "Sorry if this is too forward, but I have to say that you're incredible/an amazing person/so beautiful/etc."
6. Don't come on too strong. Avoid loading compliments with feelings too early. Leaving a person slightly uncertain of the extent of your feelings for them can increase your attractiveness, giving you a bit of a mysterious edge. The point is not to make the person question whether you like them at all, but to make them wonder how much you like them. If you just openly say, "I have a big crush on you" or "I've always thought you were so hot," then you're taking the mystery out of the exchange.
   
   • Instead, you can send a text or a message that says something like, "You looked cute in your new sweater today" or another comment that is nice and flirtatious without giving it all away.
7. Convince your crush to pursue you instead of having to do the work yourself. Though flirting should let the person know that you like them, you shouldn't make it seem like you're doing all of the work. Instead, you should be just flattering enough so that the person knows you're interested, but leave them to wonder just how much you care. Try phrasing compliments objectively rather than subjectively. Here are examples of objective vs subjective compliments:
   
   • "I really like your eyes, they're so pretty." On the surface, this compliment may seem fine, and it probably would be appreciated. However, a common flaw in phrasing a romantic compliment is to constantly use the words "I like/love *insert trait here*". They tell the person that they've succeeded in winning your heart. This is great if you've already built up a solid relationship, but early on it can make you seem overeager.
   • "You have great eyes, they're very pretty". Although both compliment versions say that you like the person's eyes, this one makes it more of an observation than a personal opinion. It implies that you find the person attractive but doesn’t confirm it outright. As a result, your crush might feel both flattered and drawn to figure out how attractive you find them.
8. Tease gently. Because you can't use body language to communicate over text or chat, you'll have to rely on your words to keep the mood light and fun.^[19] Rely on inside jokes (based on events you were both present for), sarcasm ("Yeah, I'm SURE you look like an ogre in the morning ;)"), and exaggeration ("You're probably a million times better at this than I am") in the beginning.
   
   • Make it clear that you're kidding. The drawback of using text to communicate is that you can't always read the emotion behind the words. If you're going to flirt with someone by teasing them, make extra sure that you're implying it's a joke. You can use winking smiley faces, all caps, or exclamation points to communicate this. Just don't overdo it with the emoticons or it'll begin to feel corny for the other person.
     • If you've already sent something that could be interpreted the wrong way, make your meaning crystal clear. Say something like "(joke)" or "jk" to make a quick save.
9. Always leave your crush wanting more. As much as you might want to text this person forever, it's best to bow out before the conversation goes stale (as all conversations are bound to do at some point). The best way to avoid an awkward pause is to leave before one happens. Ending the conversation on a good note will lead your conversational partner to look forward to the next time you can chat.
   
   • Set up your next interaction before you go. Throw out something like "Hey, so I'll see you around tomorrow?" or "I'll talk to you soon."
   • If you're chatting online, note that you enjoyed the conversation just before you leave. It doesn't have to be complicated — a simple "This was awesome" or "I had a good time talking to you" is enough. If you're texting, you can be a bit more casual about it.
   • Be careful not to over-compliment your crush. Your compliments will have a lot less meaning if you bestow them for every single positive trait the person has. Instead, reserve them for meaningful things that are important to the person, such as complimenting a skill they take pride in.
10. Don't take it too seriously. Keep in mind that flirting is supposed to be fun and try not to be crushed if your efforts aren't successful — not every interaction will be a perfect 10. Stay positive, and try again with someone else. As with anything else, flirting improves with practice. Flirting also doesn't have to have an endgame; not every flirtation ends in a date. Sometimes, you may just want to flirt for the fun of it, instead of hoping it will go somewhere.
    
    • Flirting can help you meet new people, feel more comfortable, and learn to mingle. You don't need to put any pressure on yourself to make it mean something or to be perfect.

What Are the Dos and Don’ts of Body Language When Flirting?

Video

Tips

• Let go of any neediness you might have. Neediness is a precursor to obsessiveness, and obsessiveness is creepy. Needy people are imbalanced and unstable people because their happiness hinges too greatly on someone else, rather than a stable sense of self-worth. If you're projecting a vibe that you'll be devastated if a person doesn't want to be your friend or romantic partner, the lightheartedness that makes flirting fun will be extinguished.
• Don't flirt with someone you're not romantically interested in, unless you are 100% sure that they are not romantically interested in you. Otherwise, you risk accidentally leading them on, which can lead to an embarrassing moment and uncomfortable interactions afterward.
• Don't use your phone (that means no texting) while you are flirting with someone. This shows that you are more interested in talking to somebody else who isn't there or that you are already involved in a relationship.
• If you don't feel comfortable asking for their number, try giving them your number. If they are truly interested in you, they will give you a call. You could also pass them your email address.
• If you're thinking about breaking the touch barrier, test the waters with impeccable manners. For example, offer your hand when they might need to keep their balance, such as when they're getting into or out of a car, or stepping over a puddle or any other uneven surface. How do they respond when you offer your hand? Do they seem receptive? Or do they hurry to let go?
• If you have long hair, try flipping it or doing the realistic version of the bend and snap. However be careful not to hit anyone in the face with your hair while doing this.
• Don't complain when flirting. Remember, the world does not revolve around you. If you complain too much, others will find you depressing and avoid you. This also goes for constantly insulting yourself, which is not humble — it's another form of self-absorption.
• Flirting is not appropriate everywhere. Funerals, for example, are generally not good places to flirt. Flirting in the workplace is also generally a no-no. If you happen to flirt at work, be on your best behavior, and don't press the issue if the other person isn't interested.
• Use flirting that is appropriate for the setting. Meeting at a library or loud dance hall, for example, might not be conducive to talking too much. In this case, |smile, act interested, and wait for a spontaneous opportunity to meet at the punch bowl or in the lobby. Do not, however, follow them around for a while because you're too nervous to approach the person; this will make you seem creepy. Talk to them the first chance you get.

Warnings

• In some contexts, flirting may be unwanted. Unwanted flirtatious behaviour can be considered sexual harassment. Sexual harassment hurts its victim emotionally, and also might be illegal or at least violate your workplace or school policies.

Related wikiHows

• Understand the Difference Between Flirting and Social Interaction
• Start a Conversation with Someone on the Train, Bus or Subway
• Communicate With Body Language
• Flirt with a Guy
• Flirt Physically
• Flirt With a Pretty Girl
• Cope With a Flirtatious Co Worker
• Have a Witty Conversation

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0092656689900202
2. ↑ [v161213_b01]. 20 December 2019.
3. ↑ [v161213_b01]. 20 December 2019.
4. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a7604/best-flirting-tips/
5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-flirt/
6. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 10 June 2021.
7. ↑ [v161213_b01]. 20 December 2019.
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
9. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/nonverbal-communication
10. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 10 June 2021.
11. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/neck-body-language/
12. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 10 June 2021.
13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/202006/how-flirt-effectively
14. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 10 June 2021.
15. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201303/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-a-girlfriend-or-boyfriend
16. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 10 June 2021.
17. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/07/11/1014019821/flirting-how-to-dating-romance-advice
18. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200403/the-art-of-the-compliment
19. ↑ https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/a60581148/flirty-texts/

source How to of the Day https://ift.tt/6UXY1oZ

How to Tell if He Likes You

Look out for these signs he’s hoping to be more than friends

You’re probably here because there’s a guy in your life who is driving you crazy with his behavior. Whether it’s a classmate, a pal you’ve had forever, or a new guy you’ve just met, it seems like he wants to be more than just friends—but does he? If you want to know how to tell if your fella likes you as more than just a buddy, keep reading: we’ve compiled a list of telltale signs a guy is crushing on you, along with expert tips from relationship coach Candice Mostisser.

Top Signs a Guy Likes You

Dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld says that if a guy likes you, he’ll talk to you a lot and pay attention to what you say. He’ll probably also want to hang out a lot, laugh at all your jokes, and seem fascinated by what you say. Other signs include flirting with you, looking at you, and complimenting you.

Steps

He talks to you—a lot.

1. If he can’t seem to stop chatting up you, he likes you. Are you the first person he talks to when he’s got good news? Had a bad day? Just bored and want to chat? All green flags!^[1]
   
   • True, talking a lot could just be a sign he sees you as a friend, but that’s nothing to sneeze at, either. Not talking to you often, though? That’s probably a sign he’s not super invested.
   • When you text him and get a reply from him within 10 seconds, it means that he’s eager to talk to you.

He makes eye contact.

1. Strong eye contact is a sign he’s interested, babe. When he talks to you, is he giving you his full attention, or is he looking around the room for something better to do? Is he breaking eye contact occasionally but smiling because he feels shy around you?^[2]
   
   • Whether he’s sneaking glances at you from across the room or staring deep into your eyes while you’re talking, if he can't stop watching you, he's probably fallen for you.

He gives you his full attention.

1. A guy who likes you will show it by being laser-focused on you. The way he acts when he talks to you can say a lot about his feelings for you. Does he nod and ask questions in response to what you say? Does he remember what you talked about the next day? These are some green flags, according to Mostisser.^[3]
   
   • If he talks to you like you're the only person in the world and seems happy to be talking to you, then he may have a crush on you.

He laughs at your jokes.

1. Laughter is the key to a person’s heart, truly. If he laughs at your jokes, it’s possibly true love. Of course, if you’re standup-level hilarious, it’s a given he’s going to laugh at your jokes. To test him, crack an intentionally bad joke. If he laughs, he’s into you, babe.^[4]
   
   • If you want to encourage him, return the favor and laugh at his dumb jokes, too. (Unless you don’t want him to like you, in which case, stop being so hilarious.)

He tries to impress you.

1. If he likes you, he might try to show off to catch your eye. Does he tell stories that make him look strong, funny, or adventurous? People who like you will try to make themselves seem admirable by highlighting their strengths and sharing exciting stories. Make sure to ooh and ahh when appropriate.^[5]
   
   • It’s possible he might even come off a little arrogant, which is a turn-off, sure, but he may be putting on airs because he’s nervous. If he’s normally pretty humble and chill, consider cutting him some slack.

He lowers his voice when he speaks to you.

1. Talking quietly or in a lower voice may be his way of getting you to lean in closer. Ooh la la. Speaking to one another in hushed tones, mere inches away from one another’s lips, is a surefire way to increase intimacy. A candlelit dinner for 2 is on the horizon.^[6]
   
   • Speaking softly could also be a sign that he’s shy around you—also a good sign! If he likes you, he may struggle to be confident around you.

He shares personal information with you.

1. Opening up to you is a sign he trusts you and values your opinion. Of course, it matters what personal info he shares. If he's opening up to you about his childhood or trouble with his friends or family, then he likes you and puts stock in your perspective. But if he's opening up to you about a new girl or guy he’s crushing on, then you may have a problem.^[7]
   
   • On the other hand, if he brags to you about other girls flirting with him, he could be trying to make you jealous. Love, am I right?

He talks to you about his future plans.

1. If he’s filling you in on his future, then he might be picturing you in it. A platonic guy friend might casually tell you about an upcoming job promotion or an international trip. But if he’s telling you about every single detail of his goals, dreams, and 5-year plan, he may be trying to figure out if you fit into all of those grand ambitions. If he’s asking your opinion or perspective on his future, then that’s an even bigger sign that he wants you to be a part of it.^[8]
   

He compliments you.

1. A guy who likes you may try to flatter you with compliments. Telling you you’re a red-hot mama is kind of an obvious sign, but subtle compliments are indicators of attraction as well. If he tells you you look nice today or that you're interesting or funny, then he may be falling for you.
   
   • Look out for nonverbal compliments, too. Does he laugh at your dumb jokes (as aforementioned), smile when you turn in his direction, or light up like a Christmas tree when you walk in the room? These are all ways of saying he appreciates you.

He asks you questions about yourself.

1. A guy who doesn't care will stick to superficial scripting. If he likes you, he'll want to know about you: your likes and dislikes, your history. He'll ask you deep questions and sincerely want to know the answers.^[9]
   
   • Not only will he ask you about yourself, he'll remember what you said. Does he return to conversations you had yesterday or last week, or does he seem not to remember what you talked about?

He teases you.

1. Poking playful fun is a big sign he's into you. Romance Queen Jane Austen wrote, “Is not general incivility the very essence of love?” which is just a super fancy way of saying, “If he teases you, he might be down bad, babe.”^[10]
   
   • Don’t take this to mean that if a guy is a jerk, he’s got the hots for you. Being rude could be a sign of affection, but if he can only show he likes you by being a jerk, he’s not worth your time.
   • A guy who pays attention to you will also be sensitive enough to know what to tease you about and what to avoid.

He tries to make you jealous.

1. Bragging about other girls could be his way of trying to make you envious. Sure, it’s a misguided plan and very indirect, but hey, love is complicated. Talking to you about girls who flirt with him or dates he’s been on could be his way of getting your attention or trying to make you jealous so that he seems more desirable.
   
   • Of course, if he’s always telling you about girls he likes or dates he’s been on, he might just see you as a friend and want to confide in you.
   • But if he's always complaining about women he's dating or says, "None of them are what I'm looking for," then he may be hinting that you're the one.
   • Observe how he talks about other girls around you to decide how you should react: is he trying to make you jealous? Or are you getting jealous because you like him?

He touches you a lot.

1. If he likes you, he may look for excuses to touch you. Physical contact, even if it’s minimal, could be a sign he wants to be close to you. If it seems like he’s always touching you—playfully pulling your hair, giving you a high-five, hugging you, putting his arm around you—there’s a pretty good sign he likes you. Even if the touches are minimal, if it happens often, it’s a good indication he wants to be close to you.^[11]
   
   • Notice how he sits next to you. Does he always try to move closer until your knees touch, or is he sitting miles away?
   • Does he get physical if you're playing a friendly game of volleyball or soccer, and does he always ask you to be his partner when it's time for chicken fights in the pool?
   • Observe how often he touches other people. Does he put his arm around everyone, or only you?

He wears nice outfits when you hang out.

1. If he dresses to impress for your non-dates, then he’s got something to prove. Most men assume that girls like a dude on their arm who doesn’t dress like they just rolled out of bed. So, if your could-be man is trying to impress you, then he might do up the ‘fit a bit in order to win you over. Even if he’s a pretty tidy dresser in general, you might notice him putting a little more effort in—from styling his hair or spraying on some cologne to debuting some new kicks.^[12]
   

He frequently faces your direction.

1. If his body is often angled in your direction, it could mean he wants you. Body language can tell you a lot about his true feelings; he might not even be aware of what his body is doing! Notice his body language: is his body directed towards you when you speak? Does he nod when you speak and gesture while he talks to you? If so, affirms Mostisser, he wants to give you all of his attention and is engaged in your interactions.^[13]
   
   • It’s about more than his body language when he’s speaking to you. Is he frequently facing your direction even when you’re not engaged in conversation?
   • If his attention is focused on you, his whole body will show it: his feet and chest will be turned toward you, and he might keep his arms open, rather than crossed, to convey engagement.

He does things for you.

1. A guy who likes you will go out of his way to show it with his actions. There are friendly favors, and then there are “I love you” favors. All of those gifts he gives you or kind acts he goes out of his way to perform for you may indicate he’s fallen for you.^[14]
   
   • Is he thoughtful? Does he bring you coffee when you're having an intense study session, or get tickets for a movie you hinted that you want to see? If so, then he's probably hanging on to your every word and just wants to make you happy.

He looks after you when you’re sick.

1. If you’ve got him playing nurse, then he’s definitely down bad. If you have a new guy in your life and happen to fall ill at the same time, then this is actually a great opportunity to see just how much he cares for you. If he texts you to check in, brings over soup and ginger ale, or picks up medicine from the pharmacy for you, then you can pretty much guarantee that he really cares about you. All of these tasks are actually acts of service—which is a pretty common love language (who said love?? Certainly not us!).^[15]
   

He treats you differently from everyone else.

1. If he thinks you’re something special, he’ll show you special attention. Some guys may seem like they like you, but if they act the same way toward everyone, you can assume it’s just their personality. Study how he acts around other people to see if he shows them the same behavior he shows you. If he doesn’t treat you the same way he treats others, it means you’re special.
   
   • See if he's a perpetual flirt. Does he flirt with everyone in the room, or only you?
   • You can also look for the opposite sign. Does he flirt with everyone except for you? Then maybe he’s not flirting with you because you’re the only one he likes. He may respect you too much or be too nervous to tease you.

He flirts with you.

1. Is he always teasing you, making you laugh, doodling in your notebook? This may feel like a no-brainer, but it may be harder to tell if he’s flirting with you than you think. Every guy has his flirting style (which is why it’s important to observe how he treats other people besides you), but make no mistake, a guy who likes you will flirt with you.^[16]
   
   • If he sends you a lot of emoticons when he’s texting, then he’s flirting with you.
   • If he’s always playfully hitting you or giving you a gentle shove, then he’s flirting with you.

He’s always trying to hang out with you.

1. If he likes you, then he’ll want to be around you as much as possible. Whether it’s claiming you as a lab partner, asking if you’re going to that party next weekend, or directly inviting you to do something with him (like see a movie), if he likes you, he’ll want to spend time with you, says Mostisser^[17]
   
   • Does he act like you’re the only person in the room when you’re hanging out in big groups? If you’re at a party or concert and he spends most of the night talking to you, then he wants to get closer to you.

He tries to be alone with you.

1. A guy who likes you will want you to himself. Does he prefer to hang out one-on-one, or in big groups? Does he try to isolate you when you’re talking to multiple people? It could be a sign he wants to spend time with you alone.^[18]
   
   • If it’s always just the two of you, then he may see you as crush material. But if he’s always inviting 10 of his closest bros along, then he may see you just as another friend.

He takes you to romantic places.

1. If all your hangouts feel like dates, that could be where his mind is at. Not only will a guy who digs you want to spend lots of one-on-one time with you, but he’ll also want to do romantic things with you in romantic places, like wine tastings at classy jazz bars, or Twilight movie marathons at the local theater (your mileage may vary). Where you hang out and what you do can tell you if he just sees you as a friend or if he wants all of your hang sessions to be more like dates.^[19]
   
   • Does he invite you to spend time in romantic locations like gardens, nicer wine bars, or places where you see couples hanging out for date nights? If so, then he may want to take your friendship to the dating realm.
   • Notice when he wants to hang out as well. Is he inviting you out to brunch, or does he ask you to dinner on a Friday night? Daytime hangs aren’t necessarily red flags (who doesn’t love brunch?), but nighttime is usually more romantic.

Your friends think he likes you.

1. Your pals might be able to tell if he likes you or be able to find out. If your friends are around when you interact with your fella, they see how he treats you and can probably give you some perspective. You may be too blinded by Cupid’s arrow to be able to see the situation clearly, but your friends probably have some solid opinions on the subject.
   
   • Ask a friend to study the two of you next time you’re together and to report back. Just make sure the friend isn’t being too obvious.
   • Tell your friends to be honest. If they don’t think he likes you, or even know that he likes someone else, then you should benefit from the truth.
   • Ask your friends to do a little spying: if you’ve got a buddy who’s in his next class, ask them to see if he flirts with anyone in that class or if they ever hear him talking about you.

His friends say he likes you.

1. If you’re feeling bold, ask his friends how he feels. This is a very dangerous step since there’s a chance they would run and report your question back to your crush. But if you don’t know who else to ask, or if you trust one of his friends, then casually ask how he feels about you.
   
   • Though this is a riskier step, his friends will have a better answer than your friends, since they have firsthand information from your guy.
   • This could also be a strategic move on your part: if you want him to know you like him but don’t want to tell him directly, asking his friend if he likes you could be a sneaky way to let him know how you feel since there’s a chance they’ll tell him you like him.

He says he likes you

1. OK, majorly obvious, but if he tells you he likes you, he likes you. If you’re feeling fairly confident that the guy likes you and are tired of waiting around and reading the signs, it may be time to just tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same way. As Mostisser explains, he could be really shy and may be relieved that you’re taking the initiative.^[20]
   
   • Find some time to be alone with him. Make sure you don’t ask him when his friends are looking over your shoulder.
   • Be honest and open. Just say you have a crush on him and want to know if he shares your feelings. If he doesn't feel the same way, that's fine! At least you know and can move on.
   • You should only do this if you’re pretty sure that he likes you. If he has exhibited multiple signs of liking you, then be bold and ask him.

Video

Related wikiHows

• Know if You Like a Guy
• Tell if a Natural Flirt Likes You

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201904/how-tell-if-someone-has-crush-you
2. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/know-someone-attracted/
3. ↑ [v161253_b02]. 24 January 2020.
4. ↑ https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/laughter-and-love-boost-each-other-romantic-relationships
5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
6. ↑ https://www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk/articles/signs-someone-actually-likes-you
7. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
8. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-he-has-strong-feeling-for-you/
9. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
10. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/07/11/1014019821/flirting-how-to-dating-romance-advice
11. ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/physical-boundaries/
12. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-he-wants-you-to-notice-him/
13. ↑ [v161253_b02]. 24 January 2020.
14. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/signs-healthy-relationship/
15. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-love-stages-and-languages
16. ↑ https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2008/07/flirtation
17. ↑ [v161253_b02]. 24 January 2020.
18. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886920300556
19. ↑ https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-power-of-date-nights
20. ↑ [v161253_b02]. 24 January 2020.

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How to Write a Diary

Diaries are wonderful objects that allow you to discuss your emotions, record dreams or ideas, and reflect on daily life in a safe, private space. While there's no single, definitive way to write a diary, there are some basic tricks you can use to get the most out of your writing. If you aren't sure what to write about, using prompts like inspirational quotes can help you get started on new entries. Keep reading for diary writing, formatting, and brainstorming tips, and join our discussion with other wikiHow diary keepers for even more writing inspo!

Steps

Sample Diary Entries

Sample Diary Entries

Sample Diary Entries

Sample Travel Diary

Sample Travel Diary

Brainstorming Topics

1. Write about the events of your day. Think about everything that happened that day and record any highlights or feelings that stand out to you. Even if you had a pretty standard day, you might be surprised by deeper thoughts and feelings that come up as you write down details about your day.^[1]
   
   • Feel free to veer off into any topic you want as you're writing about the day's events.
   • For example, you could write about the English exam you took at school that day. Are you feeling good about the exam? Do you wish you had studied more? Are you nervous to receive your grade?
2. Contemplate your goals for the future and how to achieve them. Make a list of your short-term and long-term goals. Then, go through each item on the list and write in detail about your plan to accomplish the goal. Breaking each goal up into smaller tasks that you can work on can make your goals feel less overwhelming.^[2]
   
   • For example, you could write about short-term goals like studying for your algebra exam or hitting the gym for a cardio session.
   • Long-term goals would be stuff like choosing and applying to colleges or saving up money to buy a car.
3. Jot down your current feelings or mood. Don't worry about providing any context for your emotions, just focus on accurately describing what they are.^[3] You can then use those feelings and thoughts as prompts for creating detailed diary entries. Work on one thought or emotion at a time and explore it as fully as you can.^[4]
   
   • For example, if you're feeling sad, you can write a diary entry about why you feel that way and any events that may have contributed.
   • You can add a line from the lyrics of a song you are often listening to in your entry to preserve the current mood.
4. Write down inspirational quotes and what they mean to you. Inspirational quotes can come from anywhere—a famous person, your favorite book or movie, or even a friend or a family member. Any quote you find inspiring is a great starting point. Record the quote in your diary and note where it came from. Then, explain what it means to you in your own words.^[5]
   
   • For example, you might write down a quote like, "The secret of getting ahead is getting started," which came from Mark Twain. Write a diary entry about what this means to you and what things you need to get started on to achieve certain goals.
5. Explore your favorite subjects or hobbies in-depth. Make a list of topics that you love or your favorite hobbies. You might love movies, sports, food, travel, art, or fashion. The subjects can be anything you want, as long as they interest and inspire you. Then, choose one item from the list and create a diary entry about it.^[6]
   
   • For example, if you love sports, write about why you love a certain sport, your favorite teams, and personal goals you have if you play any sports yourself.
   • If you love painting, you could write about your favorite painters, the painting styles that speak to you the most, recent paintings you've made, and ideas for future paintings.

Creating Personal Entries

1. Write the date in the corner or on the first line. You may not write in your diary every day, so dating your entries can help you keep track of when things happened. Since you'll be writing in your diary over a long period of time, dates will also help you stay organized and provide context when you look back on your entries in the future.^[7]
   
   • If you like, you can also put the time, day of the week, and your location alongside the date.
2. Begin each entry with a topic in mind. Most people reach for their diary when they have something they want to get down on paper or think about. This could be anything—something that happened that day, a dream you had, future plans, an event, an idea, or strong emotion or mood you're feeling.^[8]
   
   • Once you start writing, you're free to veer off into any subject you like! But having something in mind when you start the entry can help kickstart the writing process.
3. Open with "Dear Diary" if you want to. This is a completely personal choice, so go with what works best and feels right for you. At first, addressing the "Diary" can feel almost like reaching out to a friend rather than simply writing or talking to yourself. You may find this helpful if you're new to journaling.
   
4. Write in the first person by using "I" statements. Diaries are very personal items, and they typically work best when you speak in the first person. In your diary, you are free to make everything about you! Many people find this aspect extremely cathartic, especially when it comes to exploring personal thoughts, emotions, and reactions.^[9]
   
   • For example, you might write something like, "I'm worried about volleyball tryouts this week. I've practiced a lot and I feel ready, but I'm so nervous I can hardly eat."
5. Be honest in your entries. Many people find diary writing cathartic because they can let go of inhibitions on the page and truly be themselves. Feel free to record your emotions, both positive and negative, in their entirety in your diary. Remember that no one will ever see what you've written, so you can write honestly about anything. This is for your eyes only.^[10]
   
   • For example, you might write, "I feel jealous of Shaun's new car. I'm happy for him, but it seems really unfair that his parents bought him a brand new car. I'm working every day after school just to save up for a used car."
   • If you're afraid someone will find and read your diary, there are things you can do to prevent this. Physical diaries with locks and password-protected digital diaries are two of the most popular ways to control privacy.
   • Many people have epiphanies about themselves and their relationships through honest diary writing. Be open to learning about yourself as you write.
6. Don't worry too much about grammar and spelling. Your diary is a safe space for you to vent and share without the pressures of external judgment. Write freely and without inhibition. Being grammatically correct, proper spelling, and writing perfect phrases are not nearly as important as getting your thoughts and feelings down on the page. Jot down the first things that come to mind when considering your day, current mood, and any feelings you're struggling with.^[11]
   
   • For some people, it helps to take a few minutes at the beginning of each entry to simply free write.
7. Use lots of details to preserve moments in time. Diaries help you preserve thoughts and feelings as they're happening. You're also able to record events immediately after they happen when details are still fresh in your mind. Since memories can become unreliable, especially as time passes, recording precise details vividly can help you preserve moments in time exactly as they occurred.^[12]
   
   • Detailed writing isn't for everyone, so don't feel like you have to write long, wordy sentences. If you find it easier to express your emotions in short bursts or even bullet points, feel free to do that.

Getting into a Routine

1. Choose a specific time each day to write in your diary. Many people struggle to find the time to write in their diary. Others simply forget to write. It helps to choose a specific time each day for diary writing so that you can develop the habit. Eventually, it will become second nature, but it can help to set a daily reminder on your phone until then!^[13]
   
   • For example, you might choose to write in your diary every night right before bed.
   • Don't set an unrealistic schedule for yourself. If writing every day seems out of reach, plan on writing entry 3 times a week instead.
2. Keep your writing sessions short in the beginning. You don't have to set aside a huge chunk of time every day for writing in your diary! 10-15 minutes per session is a great goal when you're just starting out. Jot down your most pressing and immediate feelings and thoughts. You can always write more later in the week when you have time!^[14]
   
   • For example, you could write a few key bullet points in your diary when you're pressed for time.
   • Setting an intimidating schedule for yourself could be counterproductive. You want journaling to be an outlet, not a chore, so go easy on yourself.
   • Pick a time to write when you don't have other obligations or time constraints.
3. Use illustrations if you prefer drawing to writing. Some people find if easier to convey their thoughts and emotions through drawing rather than writing. If you're more likely to stick to a schedule when drawing or sketching is involved, feel free to use that approach!^[15]
   
   • Quick drawings may also help you get down something that you want to remember but don't have time to write about.

Video

Tips

• Writing a diary should be a cathartic experience and not a chore. Allow yourself to enjoy your writing!
• To camouflage your diary, write "Algebra Notes" or "School Notebook" on the cover.

Related wikiHows

• Hide Your Diary
• Keep a Diary and Stick to It
• Make-a-Personalised-Diary-Using-Canva

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161940_b01]. 9 September 2021.
2. ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-use-journaling-to-set-goals
3. ↑ [v161855_b01]. 22 July 2021.
4. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_journaling_can_help_you_in_hard_times
5. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/writing-therapy/
6. ↑ https://penzu.com/how-to-start-and-write-a-diary
7. ↑ https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/writing/articles/journal-writing
8. ↑ https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/writing/articles/journal-writing
9. ↑ https://libguides.cam.ac.uk/reflectivepracticetoolkit/reflectivewriting
10. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-journaling/
11. ↑ https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/writing/articles/journal-writing
12. ↑ https://penzu.com/how-to-start-and-write-a-diary
13. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1
14. ↑ https://penzu.com/how-to-start-and-write-a-diary
15. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1

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