How to Use "Who" and "Whom" Correctly

The correct use of who and whom in questions and statements may seem like a lost battle, still fought only by punctilious English teachers. However, the correct usage remains important in formal situations and particularly so with formal writing. After reading this article, you will feel more comfortable using the distinction of "who" and "whom" correctly, which will make you seem more educated and your speech more carefully spoken.

Steps

Using Who and Whom Correctly

1. Understand the difference between who and whom. Both who and whom are relative pronouns.^[1] However, "who" is used as the subject of a sentence or clause, to denote who is doing something (like he or she).^[2] On the other hand, "whom" is used as a direct or indirect object of a verb or preposition.
   
   • While a preposition (at, by, for, in, with, etc.) often comes before "whom," this is not always the case, so the key question is to ask, "Who is doing what to whom?" What follows is a quick way to determine which pronoun to use in a particular question.
2. Use who when referring to the subject of a sentence or clause.^[3]
   
   • Who brought the paper inside?
   • Who talked to you today?
   • Who went to dinner?
   • Who ate the cake?
   • Our job is to determine who qualifies.
3. Use whom when referring to the object of a verb or preposition.
   
   • To whom it may concern:
   • To whom did you talk today?
   • Whom does Sarah love?
4. Ask yourself if the answer to the question would be he/she or him'/her'. If you can answer the question with him/her, then use whom. It's easy to remember because they both end with "m". If you can answer the question with he/she, then use who.
   
   • Example: A suitable answer to the question, "To [who or whom] did the prize go?" is, "It went to him/her." (It is improper to say "It went to he/she.") The correct pronoun for the question is whom.
   • Example: A suitable answer to the question, "[Who or Whom] went to the store?" is, "He/She went to the store." (It is improper to say "Him/Her went to the store.") The correct pronoun for the question who.
5. When trying to decide whether who or whom is correct, simplify the sentence. Where other words in a complex sentence might throw you off track, simplify the sentence to include just the basic subject, verb, and object. It helps to move the words around in your head to identify the word relationships. For example:
   
   • "Marie Antoinette and her ladies-in-waiting only invited people to their party [who or whom] they considered to love parties as much as they did." The simplified mental version becomes: "whom they considered."
   • "Marie Antoinette prevented her mother from knowing [who or whom] she invited to the Petit Trianon." The simplified mental version becomes: "[who or whom] she invited." Then, you could rearrange it again to say: "she invited whom", clarifying that she did something to (invited) whom.
6. The distinction between who and whom is less important in informal spoken language than it is in formal written language. It's possible that the distinction might someday erode altogether. For now, though, it is important to keep this clear in written language.
   

Tips

• Ask yourself "who did what to whom?"
• Learning "who" and "whom" can help with grammar and understanding different languages. It is also good to know this if you want to speak fluent English and write correct sentences.
• It is possible to write around problems involving who and whom, but the result is almost always clumsy. If you write "To which person did the prize go?" because you can't remember that whom is the correct pronoun for such a question, you will have avoided a grammatical error at the expense of elegance.
• Here's a useful mnemonic for remembering about objects and subjects; If you say "I love you", then "you" is the object of your affection and the object of the sentence. "I" is the subject. "[Whom or Who] do I love?" is "Whom do I love?" because the answer, "you", is an object.
• Learning another language can help greatly. In most languages, using "who" in the place of "whom" can cause great confusion. A great example of this is German or Spanish.
• The CCAE (Canadian Council for the Advancement of Education) suggests always using "who" to start a sentence.^[4]
• When "who" or "whom" appear in a clause, the choice depends on whether the pronoun is serving as the subject or an object in the clause, regardless of whether the clause itself is functioning as the subject or an object in the full sentence.

Warnings

• There is much confusion and misuse on this topic. Just as correctly using whom may make others think that you are intelligent, misusing it may make you seem pompous. Never use whom as a subject pronoun. This is as incorrect as using who where whom is required. Many people will mistakenly believe that you are trying to be formal.
  • "Whom are you?" is wrong. It is meant to be "Who are you?"
  • "John is the man whom I expect to be awarded the prize." is wrong. It should be "John is the man who I expect to be awarded the prize."

Sample Usage

Who and Whom Usage Cheat Sheet

Related wikiHows

• How to Avoid Colloquial (Informal) Writing
• How to Use English Punctuation Correctly
• How to Speak Well and Confidently
• How to Ask a Question Intelligently
• How to Improve Your Grammar

Sources and Citations

• Patricia T. O'Connor, Woe is I: The Grammarphobe's Guide to Better English in Plain English, pp. 6-8, (1996), ISBN 1-57322-625-4 – research source

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