Being without a valentine on Valentine's Day can make anyone feel a little lonely. Try seeing Valentine's Day as a celebration of love and caring, rather than as a reminder of being single. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do. Share this day with others by making them feel loved and appreciated. Treat yourself to things that make you feel good. Avoid seeing Valentine's Day as a day filled with high expectations. You define what each day means to you.
EditSteps
EditTreating Yourself
- Make the day about self-care. Do things that make you feel good and relaxed. Focus on activities that soothe you and put your mind at ease. The most important love you'll ever have is the love of self. Be kind to yourself in mind, body, and spirit. Consider these ways to unwind and let go:[1]
- Get a massage
- Go to a day spa
- Take a hot bath or shower
- Do meditation or breathing exercises
- Listen to music while having a drink of your choice. Hot chocolate. Tea. Wine. Beer. Whatever makes you feel good.
- Read a book or some magazines
- Watch some movies or TV shows that you love. Consider avoiding the sappy stuff that puts you in a bad mood about Valentine's Day.
- Relax with activities you love. Do activities that make you happy. You may have certain hobbies you enjoy, or have thought about starting a new creative hobby. Instead of feeling bad, remind yourself of what you can do. Get your creative juices flowing in these ways:
- Draw or paint. Find things that help you heal from feeling bad or lonesome.
- Build something. If you're a handy person, get to work on some project that makes you feel good and productive.[2]
- Write. Write in a journal. Write poetry. Write short stories. Write anything that makes you feel like you're getting through this day and finding this time rewarding.
- Do those things that you always enjoy doing. Valentine's Day should be about what you love to do.
- Get active. Instead of sitting on the couch, get moving and get active. You may feel less depressed if you get your body moving in a healthy way. Take a little time for yourself to feel better. Exercise and drink plenty of water.[3]
- Go for walk.
- Find a relaxing park to enjoy the outdoors.
- Go to the gym.
- Take a fitness class.
- Get creative in the kitchen. While indulging in chocolate is part of the Valentine's Day tradition, think about using this day as an opportunity to be creative with cooking. You don't necessarily need to go out to a restaurant for a nice meal. Consider using this day as a way to be crafty with your culinary skills at home.
- Bake cookies, pastries, and sweets that aren't your usual to-go desserts.
- Focus less on high fat foods and find dishes that are fresh, healthy, and inventive.
- Think red with your meals. Red bell peppers. Cherries. Strawberries. Tomatoes. Red onions. Red wine.[4]
- Making a delicious meal with a little effort may feel even more rewarding.
EditSharing the Day with Others
- Give Valentine's Day cards or goodies to others. Remember when you were a kid in elementary school? You may have given out Valentine's Day cards to other classmates at school. You were taught to be kind and show love to everyone. Take action and give back to those around you.[5]
- Give Valentine's Day cards to show support for your friends, family, and co-workers. Valentine's Day cards don't have to be only romantic in nature. They can be fun, playful, and happy.
- Bring some treats to work or school to share with others. Make sure that others feel appreciated on this day. Other people just like you may feel left out. Remind them that today is about being supportive and kind.
- Plan a lunch, dinner, or party with single friends. Plan an activity like lunch, dinner, or hanging out after school or work. If you're wanting to party, you can design your own or attend one that's already planned.
- A lunch may work well for people who are busy in the evenings. Plan this lunch in advance so that it's not last-minute and they'll more likely be able to attend.
- Consider having a dinner at home with your other single friends. Make it a fun experience with creative food and activities.
- Schedule a party with other singles. If you're wanting to mingle with other singles on this day, consider creating a singles' party or attending a singles' event with friends.[6]
- Involve your pets. If your furry friend is the love of your life, keep an eye out for Valentine's events that involve your pet. There may be pet parties, parades, or meetups at public parks or dog parks where you can bring pets and celebrate with other animal lovers.
- Volunteer. There may be Valentine's events in your community that need your help — a children's play at a community center, for instance, or a party hosted by your church. You can also offer your time and service to a soup kitchen, domestic violence shelter, animal shelter, nursing home, or hospital to support others on this day. Volunteerism has been shown to improve the psychological wellbeing of the volunteer and may also help you feel less alone.[7]
- Reach out to friends and family that are supportive. Take this time to remind yourself that being single and lonely is something that everyone feels from one time or another. Use this holiday as a way to connect with your loved ones and friends who may also be going through a difficult time.
- Call relatives who have helped you — parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles. Wish them a Happy Valentine's Day. They deserve your love as much as anyone else.
- Call, write, or text your friends that you haven't talked with in a while. Show that you're still thinking of them and they matter to you.
- Be kind to supportive friends and gracious strangers on Valentine's Day. You never know what someone may be going through. Consider saying, "I hope you have a fantastic day. You're awesome." They may also reciprocate those words to you and others.
EditLetting Go of High Expectations
- Avoid making this holiday all about your relationship status. Make a conscious effort to love yourself and others on this day. Avoid waiting around or hoping that someone else will fix everything and make you feel better. Whether you're single or not, you are the best judge of what matters to you. [8]
- Focus on how you can take an active role in making yourself feel better on Valentine's Day.
- Avoid seeing Valentine's Day in simple terms as only about romantic love.
- Remember that this is a made-up holiday. Much of what you see and what you're told about Valentine's Day is through advertising. You are welcome to make your own traditions for this day.
- Focus your time on those who care about you. Redirect your negative thoughts about being unloved or unappreciated to thoughts about who does care about and love you. Often the harshest critic on a holiday like Valentine's Day is yourself. You may certain unrealistic expectations about how the day should be.
- Instead of focusing on your faults, remember those who care and love you.
- Be kind and generous with your words. Tell those around you what makes them special.
- Most likely there is more than one love in your life. Love doesn't need to be defined by your partner. Love can be shared with friends and family too. Spend more time with them. Make an effort to show that they mean as much to you as this romantic person you're looking for.
- Make this day about gratitude. You may feel like you want to retreat into your comfort zone when you don't have a valentine on Valentine's Day. Instead of feeling sad, remember those who have had tough times and are lonesome too. Giving back and thanking those around you will make you feel better about this day.[9]
- Give food or your time to those in need.
- Visit patients at a hospital or older adults at a retirement community. An unexpected visit may boost their spirits. Make sure to ask permission before visiting.[10]
- Help an acquaintance at work or school with something challenging.
- Be present and think about the good things in your life. Take a few minutes to clear your mind and remember three things that you are thankful for at this moment in your life.
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EditSources and Citations
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