How to Make Him Obsessed with You

The ultimate guide to getting a guy to fall for you

If you have a new boyfriend or crush, it’s no surprise you want him to be obsessed with you—in a healthy way, of course. We're here to help you make sure he thinks of you just as often as you think of him. Keep reading for the best tips and tricks to make him obsessed with you, from increasing your self-confidence to showing him you’re interested. You’ll have him wrapped around your finger in no time.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Make him obsessed with you by being confident. He’ll see that you’re not afraid to be yourself and want to get to know you better.
• Show genuine interest by listening and supporting him. If he knows that you like him, he’ll like you more, too.
• Be flirty. Everyone wants to feel attractive, so don’t be afraid to playfully tease him.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Make him feel special.

1. When you’re with him, give him your undivided attention. He’ll notice if you’re really paying attention to him or if you’re distracted by someone or something else. Let him see that he’s your main focus, and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep your attention.
   

[Edit]Be an active listener.

1. Great conversations require balance. Show him you care by being a great listener. Keep him engaged by showing interest, asking questions, and truly paying attention to his answers. By showing empathy and understanding, he’ll know you care about his feelings and opinions.^[1]
   

[Edit]Show him how fun you are.

1. Be yourself and let loose a bit. Let your personality and energy shine, and don’t be afraid to take risks. Being open and enjoying yourself will make you more approachable. If you can have fun by yourself, he’ll see what a great time the two of you can have together.
   

[Edit]Show genuine interest.

1. Don’t play hard to get. Let him know you like him! By showing interest, he’ll see that you’re looking for something genuine and you’re not just playing games. Knowing you like him will likely make him want to get to know you better.^[2]
   
   • When we know someone likes us, our brains produce a feeling of excitement. He’ll be curious about you and want to know all your likes and dislikes. He won’t be able to help himself!

[Edit]Be unpredictable.

1. Keep things fresh and exciting. Don’t be afraid to try something out of the ordinary. If you introduce him to something new, he’ll definitely think of you every time he does it. Help break him out of his routine, and it will benefit you both in the long run.<r>
   
   • Take him for a drive to a place you haven’t been before or introduce him to a new band or your favorite movie. Not only will he get to know you better, but he’ll wonder what else you can introduce him to.

[Edit]Find out what you have in common.

1. Discuss and participate in your common interests. While it’s important to have your own interests and hobbies, it’s also important to have things you both like to do. Having things in common will automatically make him more attracted to you, especially if these are shared values and morals.
   

[Edit]Make him feel attractive.

1. Everyone wants to feel wanted, so show him how much you like him. While you can definitely tell him you’re attracted to him, it’s more important to show him through your actions. Treat him with affection, and let him know how happy he makes you. This way, he’s sure to return the favor.
   

[Edit]Be vulnerable.

1. Don’t be afraid to let your guard down. If you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be hard to let people see the real you. Tell him about your fears and insecurities. Let him know how you feel about him. By showing him your vulnerability, he can see he can also open up to you. Make him feel special by allowing him to see a side of you only he can see.^[3]
   
   • Let him know how you’re feeling. Whether you’re happy, sad, or angry, don’t keep it bottled up. This way, your partner can try to help you explore and understand your emotions.
   • Being vulnerable reduces conflict. If he hurt your feelings, tell him. Use “I feel” statements to avoid sounding accusatory or escalating the situation. This way you’ll both see you can maturely handle potential conflicts and continue your relationship in a healthy manner.

[Edit]Show him he can rely on you.

1. People are attracted to those who make them feel safe. Let him know he can trust you by being open and honest. Be empathetic and offer to help if he needs support. Even if he doesn’t accept it at first, he’ll see that you’re someone who wants him to feel safe and comfortable.^[4]
   

[Edit]Make him smile.

1. If he’s happy around you, he’ll be more attracted to you. You want him to feel comfortable with you. Help him make the most of a bad day by making him smile. Tell him a joke or a funny story or give him a meaningful gift.^[5]
   

[Edit]Be confident.

1. Don’t try to hide your personality. Practice self-confidence so he can see how incredible you are. Live authentically and don’t do things just because everyone else is. Even if you choose not to do something he’s interested in, he’ll see that you’re strong and confident, which are some of the most attractive things you can be.^[6]
   
   • Learning how to be confident can be tough, but don’t give up if you’re struggling! Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it. Start by standing up straight and holding your head high. Even if you don’t feel confident yet, others will perceive you this way and be more likely to approach you and find you attractive.
   • Remember your good qualities. If you start feeling self-conscious, switch your mindset and instead focus on all the things you like about yourself. This way, you can train yourself to think positively, and others will see the difference and want to get to know you even more.

[Edit]Be flirty.

1. Flirting helps him see how interested you are. Don’t be afraid to touch him or playfully tease him now and then. Studies find men also prefer direct flirtation, so compliment him on his appearance or ask him for his number. Flirting helps keep the spark alive, and he’ll always want to come back for more.^[7]
   
   • When you want to flirt with a guy, body language is key. Start by making eye contact and smiling. Don’t cross your arms or close yourself off. Show him that you’re open to continuing the conversation.
   • So while getting touchy-feely too soon may not be the best strategy, you can still be flirty by making solid eye contact and smiling often.

[Edit]Be supportive.

1. Support him through the good and the bad. Everyone needs someone to lean on during difficult times, but it’s just as important to have someone support your hobbies and interests. Make an effort to learn about his interests and offer encouragement about his work. If he knows you support his goals, he’ll want you even more.^[8]
   

[Edit]Create healthy boundaries.

1. Respecting boundaries is crucial to any relationship. While you might always want to be with him, it’s healthy to have personal space. When both of you respect each other’s boundaries and take time away from each other, he’ll see that you’re independent and you support his autonomy, too.^[9]
   
   • Start by communicating. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, or financial, among others. Set healthy boundaries by letting your partner know what traits you like in a relationship, what behaviors bother you, and how much alone time you need.
   • Remember, your boundaries can change. As your relationship develops, you may find you like things you didn’t before or vice versa. Always let your partner know when you change your mind about something so you can continue to develop a healthy and respectful relationship.

[Edit]Maintain independence.

1. Be your own person. While it’s nice to spend time with your partner or crush, it’s important to live your own life. Remember to spend time with your friends and do your own hobbies, and give him his own space as well. People tend to lose attraction when the novelty is gone, so take some healthy time apart to keep things interesting.^[10]
   

[Edit]Surprise him.

1. Show him you care through surprise acts of kindness. This shows him you care about him and remember the little details about his life. These acts don’t have to be big and elaborate. You can pick up his favorite coffee or help him with a chore he hates. The little things add up, and he’ll see just how much you care.^[11]
   

[Edit]Be honest.

1. Be authentic with your emotions. Communicate openly and honestly. If something upsets you, let him know instead of pretending everything is okay. When he does the same, listen with empathy and compassion. Being honest with him shows you respect him, and he’ll know you’re someone worth pursuing.^[12]
   

[Edit]Be mysterious.

1. Keep him wanting more. While it’s important to be open in a relationship, it can be overwhelming if you lay everything out all at once. When you’re getting to know him, reveal just enough to get him interested. He’ll ask more questions and try to get to know you better. If he doesn’t know everything about you, he’ll spend his free time wondering about what mysteries you hold.
   
   • To be mysterious when first meeting someone, try holding eye contact and then looking away. This will leave him wondering if you’re interested and might get him to approach you first.

[Edit]Love yourself.

1. Practicing self-love will make you even more attractive. This can look different depending on who you are and what you enjoy. Make yourself feel good by eating healthy foods, exercising, and keeping a positive mindset. If you think you look and feel good, he will too.^[13]
   

[Edit]Let him help you.

1. Make him feel needed. He knows he can rely on you, so let him prove he can support you, too. If he offers to help you with something, accept. Even if it’s something you’re capable of doing on your own, this shows that he wants to spend time with you and make your life easier.
   

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202306/the-science-of-attractiveness
3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/trust-and-vulnerability-in-relationships#what-does-it-look-like
4. ↑ https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2023/02/signs-of-a-supportive-partner
5. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
6. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-you-can-be-more-confident#3
7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202306/the-science-of-attractiveness
8. ↑ https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2023/02/signs-of-a-supportive-partner
9. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships.htm
10. ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-make-someone-fall-in-love-with-you
11. ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-make-someone-fall-in-love-with-you
12. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
13. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/ways-to-love-yourself-more#ways-to-love-yourself

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