How to Icks for Girls

Find out what gives your crush the gross-out factor

Have you ever gone on a dinner date with a girl and she was rude to the server? Or made you wait forever so she could get ready? These are just a few habits or behaviors that people find undesirable, or in other words, icky. In this article, we’ll cover what turns people off about girls so you can find out if your habits are actually a major turn-off.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Not having decent manners

1. {endbold} Nobody wants to be with someone who disregards other people's feelings. Not saying "thank you" or letting the door close when someone is behind you is rude.
   
   • The key to good manners is simple: treat others how you want to be treated.^[1]

[Edit]Being disrespectful to workers

1. {endbold} Service and retail workers are the backbone of our society. Generally, they aim to be helpful and kind to the people they serve. Treating them with rude language or bad manners is a major turn-off.
   • Like catching the cold, negative behaviors can be contagious.^[2] If someone is being negative, Deal with their rude behavior by being polite. Maintain a respectful voice and smile.

[Edit]Being a "know-it-all"

1. {endbold} While learning as much as possible is great, no one can truly know it all, so don't pretend like you do. Or, if you truly know a lot about a subject, be humble. Don't take it as an opportunity to mansplain or talk down to people.
   • In many cases of "know-it-alls," they feel they have to convince others of their importance or intelligence. In doing so, they use their knowledge to humiliate others.^[3]
   • Take pride in not knowing the answer to something. After all, it's a chance to learn!

[Edit]Neglecting grooming and hygiene

1. {endbold} Maintaining your appearance and cleanliness says a lot about you. It shows how much you're willing to take care of yourself. Things like bad odor, greasy hair, or filthy or torn clothes can lead people to go, "Ick!"
   • For some, keeping up with their appearance can be difficult due to external pressures. In that case, tackle the basics:
   • Brush your teeth, comb your hair, take regular showers, apply deodorant, and wear clean clothes.

[Edit]Having long fingernails

1. {endbold} While there's nothing wrong with rocking a nice set of acrylics, more often than not, guys aren't huge fans of the look. So, if you're going to express yourself with fancy nails, practice good nail hygiene.
   
   • Don't chew your nails, pick at your cuticles, or sport broken acrylics or long claws. Keep your nails neat and clean.

[Edit]Wearing too much makeup

1. {endbold} The same way nails are a form of self-expression, so is makeup. However, many guys find it icky when girls put on so much makeup that it changes their natural beauty.^[4]

[Edit]Obsessed with astrology

1. {endbold} There's a fine line where astrology is used for fun, and when it's used to determine relationships, life paths, and daily activities. When people rely on their horoscope readings to make life decisions, it's a sign that they’re easily influenced and incapable of making decisions.

[Edit]Incessant texts or calls

1. {endbold} It's one thing to send a double- or quadruple-text to a best friend. Doing the same with someone you just started talking to is another thing. Repetitive texts or calls at the start of a relationship signal to the other person that you may be more high-maintenance than they thought.

[Edit]Being too clingy

1. {endbold} The need for independence is crucial for any successful relationship. When you express signs of clinginess, that can be a major red flag to others. It tells them they'll constantly need to tailor their life around you—and that's not a way to live a happy and healthy life.
   • Signs of clinginess include demanding reassurance, expecting constant communication, and an inability to give the other person space.^[5]
   • Clinginess is often the result of survival needs, safety, love, and self-esteem.
   • To change needy or clingy behavior, take a moment to self-reflect. Learn new hobbies, like volunteering, physical activity, or art, that will keep you busy.

[Edit]Excessive jealousy

1. {endbold} It's a major ick when girls get overly protective or jealous when their partner hangs out with other people—especially of the opposite sex. In relationships, people want to feel trusted and secure. The truth is that jealousy screams insecurity for many people.
   

[Edit]Eating and talking simultaneously

1. {endbold} No one wants to watch solid foods turn into mush in real time. If you're telling an engaging story that can't wait, let the food wait its turn. Or vice-versa. Trust us, the other person will be thankful you did.

[Edit]Noisy eating

1. {endbold} For some people, the sounds of eating, chewing, and even loud breathing is a major ick. But before you try to defend your loud eating, don't get mad at them. They can't help it! Misophonia is a brain abnormality triggered by noises like chewing.^[6]
   • If noisy eating is a problem for you, a simple fix is to chew with your mouth closed. An open mouth lets air in, leading to smacking or slurping sounds.
   • You can also try eating slowly, avoiding non-crunchy food, or masking the sound of chewing with the help of background noise.^[7]

[Edit]Living in a mess

1. {endbold} A messy living area is a big red flag for many people. It says you don't take the time to care for yourself. Similarly, living in a clutter of knick-knacks or stuffed animals may give off the impression that you're a hoarder, which can give your potential partner the ick.
   • An easy way to clean your house is to group similar chores, like vacuuming the living room and bedroom, together so it can be accomplished in one go.

[Edit]Speaking in baby talk

1. {endbold} There are a few moments when baby talk is acceptable, such as talking to your baby or a cute, furry animal. When you're speaking to a grown adult? Cringe-worthy. Speak to your partner in a regular tone.

[Edit]Wearing inappropriate clothes

1. {endbold} There’s nothing wrong with turning lingerie wear into party outfits or rocking a short micro-skirt to the mall. But showing up to your partner's family dinner in a bra-top or daisy duke shorts may not be the move—especially if it's your first time meeting their family. Wear clothes that are appropriate for the occasion while remaining true to you.
   

[Edit]Taking forever to get ready

1. {endbold} Unlike Beyoncé, many of us don't wake up feeling flawless. Looking good requires work, but don't let it fall at the expense—and time—of others. Being late shows you don't respect the other person's time. Don't be rude. Get ready earlier, or sacrifice a step or two from your GRWM regime.

[Edit]Not paying on the first date

1. {endbold} Ladies, we know it's chivalrous for the guy to pay on the first date, but that doesn't mean you can't offer to split the bill or treat to dessert. After all, both people deserve to feel special, too.
   • If a second date is in your future, offer to pay for that one.

[Edit]Starting arguments for fun

1. {endbold} Arguments that appear for "no reason" are often a sign of boredom, self-sabotage, or discomfort with closeness.^[8] Instead of stirring up the pot, stop and identify how you're feeling.
   • If it's a sign of boredom, try learning something new with your partner, like cooking a new recipe or picking up a hobby.
   • If it results from underlying issues, like a lack of control, be open and honest with your partner about where you lack control to find healthy solutions.

[Edit]Bringing up your ex

1. {endbold} It's natural in new relationships to learn about your partner's past relationships. However, continuous mentions of an ex can be a significant red flag after weeks or even months of dating. It signals to your partner that you're still not over your ex.

[Edit]Too much PDA

1. {endbold} Showing PDA is a way to tell your partner you're not only proud to be seen with them, but you genuinely love being around them. However, when pecks on the lips or hand-holding becomes full-blown makeout sessions or groping, there's a time and place for that, and it's not out in public!
   

[Edit]Having a "Pick Me" personality

1. {endbold} A pick me girl is someone who goes out of their way to impress others by ensuring she's "not like other girls." ^[9] It often comes at the expense of diminishing other women and is rooted in misogyny. For onlookers, being unsupportive of others is a massive ick!

[Edit]Sharing your entire relationship online

1. {endbold} Let's be honest: soft-launching a new relationship online is cute. You post a picture of your partner's hand or a kissy silhouette to share on your social feeds.^[10] But when innocent pictures turn into sharing your entire relationship online, your partner may begin to feel like there's no sense of privacy.
   • Establish what your partner is comfortable sharing online before you post pictures or videos of them.
   • Similarly, always being on your phone or posting pictures is a turn-off for many, as it shows you're more engaged with the idea of them than actually spending quality time together.

[Edit]Constantly complaining

1. {endbold} Everyone complains. Still, it can create an air of negativity that doesn't jive with other people when it becomes relentless. Negativity isn't just about minor inconveniences, though. It can discourage others from chasing their dreams or trying something new.^[11] No one wants to be around someone who brings them down.

[Edit]Being self-centered

1. {endbold} People who are self-absorbed are a major red flag as they tend to act in their self-interest without considering others.^[12] Healthy, platonic, or romantic relationships are about helping one another grow and expressing care. But, if it's only a one-way street, that's not a real relationship.

[Edit]Dishonesty

1. {endbold} Building a relationship on a foundation of lies isn't suitable for anyone—especially for those in romantic partnerships. Healthy relationships are built on trust, encouragement, safety, and security.^[13]
   

[Edit]Leaving hair in the drain

1. {endbold} Ladies, there's no greater ick than revealing a clump of hair clogging the drain. Showers are supposed to be a clean space—not a hair catcher.
   • Before starting your hair or skin-care routine, peek in the shower and dispose of loose hair.

[Edit]Testing your partner's loyalty

1. {endbold} While "loyalty challenges" are all the rave on social media platforms like TikTok and YouTube Shorts, in reality, it's a massive red flag. Loyalty tests signal you don't trust your partner. It also says you're willing to put them on blast in front of everyone to prove they're a good partner.

[Edit]Oversharing with friends

1. {endbold} Oversharing isn't limited to online; it also includes friends or family members. We all need an outlet to share our frustrations or complaints occasionally. But, when sharing intimate details about your relationship, some things are better left between you, your partner, or a licensed therapist.
   • Before you open up, think about whether you would feel comfortable having the same level of details shared about you with others before you act.^[14]

[Edit]Bragging about being mean

1. {endbold} Despite the love for the movie Mean Girls, being an IRL mean girl isn't a cute look. No one wants to be around someone who has bad manners or puts others down for their own gain. It's shallow, cold-hearted, and shows your true colors.

[Edit]Fake laughing

1. {endbold} Often, people laugh at a bad joke because they don't want the other person to feel bad. Instead, this contributes to a false image and, even worse, the continuation of a bad joke. If something isn't funny, you don't have to laugh. The other person will get the hint.
   • Many guys want to be around someone who keeps it real, including telling them when a joke isn't funny.

[Edit]Not having goals or ambitions

1. {endbold} People want to be around folks who inspire and motivate them—even if their goals aren't the same. Establishing goals is a way to show others what you're passionate about, and being with someone who lacks passion is the biggest ick of all.
   
   • You don’t have to set ambitious goals to be passionate. It can be as simple as getting into strength training, learning a new hobby, or striving for a higher-paying job.

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/the_power_of_good_manners
2. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-28930-001
3. ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-deal-with-people-who-think-they-know-everything/
4. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/male-attitudes-on-makeup-gender-norms
5. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/needy-person-in-relationships#what-causes-neediness
6. ↑ https://time.com/4659308/misophonia-noisy-eating-science/
7. ↑ https://soundproofliving.com/how-to-chew-quietly/
8. ↑ https://abbymedcalf.com/the-five-reasons-people-pick-fights-and-three-things-to-do-about-it/
9. ↑ https://www.modernintimacy.com/the-psychology-of-the-pick-me-girl/
10. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/soft-launch-relationship-instagram-trend
11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sapient-nature/201303/dealing-negative-people
12. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/reacting-to-selfish-people
13. ↑ https://www.ny.gov/teen-dating-violence-awareness-and-prevention/what-does-healthy-relationship-look
14. ↑ https://www.twoofus.org/educational-content/articles/are-you-oversharing-about-your-partner/

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