Learn to embrace the unexpected and take more risks
Some structure in your life can be comforting, but when you feel like your days are getting dull and repetitive, it might be time to shake things up a bit. Getting out of your comfort zone and injecting some spontaneity into your routine can keep things unpredictable and fun. We’ve compiled the best ways for you to break out of old habits and reinvigorate your daily life, with expert tips from life coaches Rachel Clissold and Sandra Possing on how to take risks that are sure to pay off.
How to Be Spontaneous
Make a list of all your current routines so you can find ways to break them. You can start small, like going on a sunset walk or taking the scenic route to work. Then, try new cuisines, hobbies, and activities, like signing up for a new gym. Say "yes" more and connect with new people. Take a trip without an itinerary.
Steps
How to be a More Spontaneous Person
- Make a list of your routines. This will help you pinpoint the areas of your life that could use some loosening up. What patterns do you repeat? It might seem counterintuitive, but making a note of every time you do something that feels routine will help you figure out where you can start to loosen up.[1]
- Ask yourself questions like: Do I walk the same route every day? Do I sit in the same desk during classes? Do I bring the same kind of things for lunch or order the same meal at a restaurant?
- Note your downtime activities. Do you sit at home or are you active?
- If you’re struggling to identify routines, ask your family members or friends to point out your habits.
- Write down the anxieties holding you back from change. Ask yourself, “What's so scary about change?” Write these anxieties down next to the steps in your routine. Try to be as specific as possible. Figuring out your self-judgements and limiting beliefs allows you to recognize when your negative inner voice is holding you back from spontaneity, rather than a true, external limitation (like time or money).[2]
- Check in with yourself: What's scary about sitting next to a stranger and being drawn into conversation? What keeps you from visiting that new restaurant?[3]
- Add a few new activities to your routine to shift your mindset. Create small habits based around gratitude and being present. Part of spontaneity is about openness—freeing yourself to enjoy the moment and shifting your perspective towards positivity. Add a larger routine shift by exercising or learning to meditate, or you can try out some of the smaller habits below.[4]
- Take a photo of something beautiful on the way to work.[5]
- Write down three things that went well for you at least once a week and what contributed to them going well.[6]
- Pick one enjoyable activity (like reading a book, watching your favorite TV series), and plan it into your evening so you have something to look forward to at the end of the workday.[7]
- Life coach Rachel Clissold assures that even small changes can go a long way. She says, “It's the simple things. If you love to watch the sunrise, get up and watch the sunrise. It can be as simple as adding 5 minutes to your work commute to take the scenic route.”[8]
- Clissold additionally suggests things like going to a different café for lunch, trying a new cuisine, and joining a gym.[9]
- Clear part of your schedule and see where the day takes you. Break completely from your routine by leaving true free time. Take an hour, an afternoon, or however much time you’d like to unwind and try something new. Avoid scheduling activities, and see what opportunities come up! Some routine is good—having habits like exercise, regular self-care, and meditating or praying can keep us productive and comfortable—but leaving free time can refresh your perspective on life.[10]
- Use the time to take a class or learn about a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.
- Wander around town and see if there are cool places or events to check out.
- Give yourself a day off from chores and go for a hike, cook an elaborate meal, or play video games instead.
- Life coach Sandra Possing challenges you to let go of all expectations when trying new things. According to Possing, the goal isn’t for your new hobby to become your new career.[11]
- She advises, “Just getting into the action [of trying new things] creates energy and it gives you more information. And then you find yourself in this process of trying things, being in action, and learning more about yourself and the world.”[12]
- She adds, “So it just becomes this really active exploration where you’re willing to try things without being so analytical and having to have it all figured out.”[13]
- Act on cravings and spur-of-the-moment ideas. Tune into feelings about what you want to do. If you develop a craving to eat pizza late at night or to become a vegetarian over the weekend, what's stopping you? It's easy to come up with reasons not to do things. Instead of worrying about whether your whim will eventually fail or whether you'll regret your choice, just go for it.[14]
- Start by asking yourself how you feel about something instead of dismissing your ideas and wants.
- Use common sense. Don’t act on impulses that are illegal, extremely unhealthy, or that put you in danger.
- Clissold shares how important it is to do things from a place of authenticity: “When you're doing something that's coming from a space of alignment— that really helps you to stick to it.”[15]
- Possing believes that many people feel the need to follow a strict schedule in order to feel in control of their lives. However, she encourages curiosity as a means of breaking free from the confines of routine.[16]
- She says, “Take imperfect action, especially inspired imperfect action, without overthinking it.”[17]
- Connect with new people. Feeling stuck in a routine can get lonely, so the next time you go out or plan an evening at home, ask someone to join you. Studies show that engaging with other people, even talking to strangers on your commute, can boost your positive emotions.[18]
- If your average night looks like enjoying a few beers on the porch or cooking dinner, make it a significant event by including an old friend you’ve lost touch with or would like to get to know better.
- Strike up a conversation with a stranger by asking about your surroundings. For instance, if you’re at a café, try saying something like, “Wow, the line’s really long today. Have you ever seen it this busy in here?”
- Say yes when a friend asks you to do something. The next time a friend asks you to try out a new restaurant or go see a movie, say yes. Taking "no" out of your vocabulary opens up a world of possibilities. Just keep in mind that saying yes isn't about forcing yourself to do things that’ll make you deeply uncomfortable—it's about getting yourself to do things you might like and never get around to.[19]
- Act in your best interest. If you have absolutely no desire to go to that glow-in-the-dark bubble rave or if you can’t afford that restaurant, don't go.
- As you find activities or new places you like, focus your energy on pursuing those opportunities. Use your spontaneity to make life more enjoyable, not more hectic or challenging.
- Clissold suggests that you approach situations with a childlike curiosity and energy: “Embrace that inner child that just wants to play, and share, and express.”[20]
- Go on an impromptu adventure with a friend. Wait to choose a specific activity until you arrive somewhere. By avoiding over-planning, you can prevent planning from feeling like a chore and keep yourself open to new and exciting opportunities. Offer to meet up with a friend in an unfamiliar part of town and spend the day exploring. You never know what you might find![21]
- Meet downtown for lunch, and walk around to decide on a restaurant instead of planning ahead-of-time.
- Go on a walking tour of your city instead of picking a specific destination.
- Drive to a movie theater and pick a movie to see once you get there.
- Look through a thrift store or antique market and look for the wildest thing you can find.
- Switch up the location where you work, study, or eat. Change your environment to get a new perspective. Mixing up the place where you work or study might even help you improve your brain’s ability to process and retain information.[22] Check in with yourself once you make a small change. Does the change make you feel better or more anxious?
- Take a different route to work.
- Bring your lunch for a picnic outside instead of eating in the cafeteria.
- Call a friend and meet for drinks downtown instead of going straight home after work.
- Study in the library instead of at a coffee shop.
- Take a trip without a full itinerary. Leave unplanned time to keep yourself open to new adventures. For nearby vacations, just get in the car and drive until you find a place you’d like to stop and explore. For trips overseas or farther away, only plan the minimum logistical necessities like booking a plane ticket, finding a place to stay, etc. Once you get to a new place, follow your instincts about what you’d like to do and see.[23]
- Ask a local for advice on what to do, or check out a local paper for listings of concerts, festivals, and activities.[24]
- Use the “near me” feature in mapping apps on your phone to pick fun activities once you get to a spot.
- You don’t have to spend a lot of money to take a trip. Spend a weekend in the adjacent town or go for a scenic drive.
Benefits of Being Spontaneous
- You’ll never be bored. Spontaneity is synonymous with freedom and doing things on a whim, leading to excitement no matter how mundane other aspects of life might be. A spontaneous person can still have a 9-to-5 job and not let it hold them back. They practice the art of discovery and will constantly tune into different kinds of music, cuisines, projects, and friend groups. Ultimately, being spontaneous means never experiencing a dull moment![25]
- It breeds creativity. Spontaneity and creativity are significantly linked, as one creates the other. Being spontaneous involves acting without a plan, embracing the unknown, and reacting in the moment, all of which play important roles in enhancing cognitive function. Spontaneous folk tend to be innovative thinkers, artists, and creatives, able to break the confines of routine thought patterns to achieve noteworthy breakthroughs.[26]
- It nurtures flexibility and adaptability. If you’re a person who thrives with a structured routine, you may not be super open to change. Although this isn’t necessarily a disadvantage in every situation, practicing spontaneity can help you become more adaptable whenever plans do take a different course, which is a great skill to have, as life has many ups and downs. Learning how to be more spontaneous can help you embrace the unexpected with confidence and poise.
- Spontaneity can lead to less stress. The ability to adapt well to change allows the brain to relax, even in the face of adversity. This ultimately leads to a lower stress lifestyle, as spontaneous people tend to have loads of experience with perseverance and resilience. Their adventurous attitudes help them learn that life continues on, no matter what, and going with the flow is all part of journey.[27]
Common Challenges When Becoming More Spontaneous
- Fear of change or the unknown{endbold} Most people with rigid routines have a fear of change or the unknown. They tend to protect themselves by keeping a very strict schedule and rarely deviating from it. These phobias may come as a result of a chaotic childhood filled with instability and can manifest themselves in damaging ways in adulthood. For example, having a fear of accepting a promotion that comes with a relocation to a new city might create feelings of anxiety and stress, instead of excitement.[28]
- Practicing spontaneity can help us embrace newness with optimism and grace, proving again and again that earlier fears were unfounded.
- Need for control{endbold} Relinquishing control is a huge part of learning to be more spontaneous. Individuals who place a high value on control in their daily lives may be dealing with feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and powerlessness, often confusing control with power. A need for control can be a result of witnessing or experiencing controlling behaviors earlier in life, making control a formative aspect in their lives.[29]
- Some research shows that control is connected to survival instincts as humans seek to minimize negative consequences.
- Societal pressures{endbold} Modern-day society places a big emphasis on leading a structured, productive life. Influencers share glimpses into their morning routines, beginning with a 5 AM workout, and are generally praised for getting so much done so early. Success is often measured by its relationship to a strong work ethic, being disciplined, and sticking to the script, while spontaneity is sometimes described as being synonymous with instability and flakiness.
- While there are positive and negative aspects to routine and spontaneity, striking an appropriate balance is key.
FAQ
- Why is spontaneity important? Spontaneity is important for many reasons. Being spontaneous is linked to open-mindedness, flexibility, adaptability, and optimism, all of which are excellent skills to have. Spontaneous individuals can adapt in unexpected situations and can cope well with negative outcomes, resulting in resilience, resourcefulness, and ingenuity. It’s important to note that spontaneity isn’t the opposite of routine, but the opposite of rigidity. Finding a good balance between spontaneity and routine can help keep your brain both active and stable.[30]
- What does it mean to be a spontaneous person? A spontaneous person is one who takes action without planning ahead, typically impulsively or on a sudden whim. They may be described as adventurous, prone to chasing new experiences, and having a go-with-the-flow mentality. Spontaneous folk don’t necessarily have to be against routine, but they are more likely to break routine as they see fit. Those who practice spontaneity are open to learning and adapting based on circumstances, and welcome change with open arms.[31]
- How can I be more spontaneous in my relationship? You can take steps toward being more spontaneous in your relationship by having spur-of-the-moment date nights, trying new activities together, and going on unplanned trips. Instead of waiting until the weekend to go out on the town, try having lunch at a new restaurant on a regular Wednesday, or pick up a new hobby together, like pottery or pickleball. You can also go on a last-minute road trip or book a hotel for an impromptu staycation.
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References
Quick Summary
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201910/why-it-s-important-break-routines
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-s-mental-health-matters/201612/7-ways-get-yourself-unstuck
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/19-reasons-why-youre-stuck-and-how-to-get-unstuck.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-s-mental-health-matters/201612/7-ways-get-yourself-unstuck
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/business-insider/little-changes-routine-make-you-happy-more-productive.html
- ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/business-insider/little-changes-routine-make-you-happy-more-productive.html
- ↑ [v161566_b01]. 26 August 2020.
- ↑ [v161566_b01]. 26 August 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201009/routines-comforting-or-confining
- ↑ [v161480_b01]. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ [v161480_b01]. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ [v161480_b01]. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201710/how-be-more-spontaneous
- ↑ [v161566_b01]. 26 August 2020.
- ↑ [v161480_b01]. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ [v161480_b01]. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-28833-001
- ↑ https://www.psychologies.co.uk/why-we-should-all-say-yes-more
- ↑ [v161566_b01]. 26 August 2020.
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/fashion/making-plans-schedule-free-time.html
- ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3039180/how-your-daily-routine-is-holding-you-back
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201910/why-it-s-important-break-routines
- ↑ https://www.smartertravel.com/12-ways-spontaneous-travel/
- ↑ https://www.myersdavis.com/blog/benefits-spontaneity/
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053811920305504
- ↑ https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/being-spontaneous-good-6-ways-192626976.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly9jc2UuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAGFt4gIUURxUwQqLywI38Ljnm63sXSBD3-ghYkArwA8ACCQS8piPpav7ELVDIyojx-IaJ4nTFFHFrDsm9OfXmaJ0hV1ngJW1LLVLQ41nzBmjpYIkI9ResfjPJh0WduynsIVT-kier_CESAI7jcgS6t1qhl0Oz5EM5Bt4tpO_h9XI
- ↑ https://lipsychologist.com/why-do-we-fear-change/
- ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2944661/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passion/202401/winging-it-the-importance-of-spontaneity
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passion/202401/winging-it-the-importance-of-spontaneity
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