How to Make It Through Valentine's Day Without a Valentine

Being without a valentine on Valentine's Day can make anyone feel a little lonely. Try seeing Valentine's Day as a celebration of love and caring, rather than as a reminder of being single. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do. Share this day with others by making them feel loved and appreciated. Treat yourself to things that make you feel good. Avoid seeing Valentine's Day as a day filled with high expectations. You define what each day means to you.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Treating Yourself

1. Make the day about self-care. Do things that make you feel good and relaxed. Focus on activities that soothe you and put your mind at ease.^[1] The most important love you'll ever have is the love of self. Be kind to yourself in mind, body, and spirit. Consider these ways to unwind and let go:^[2]
   
   • Get a massage
   • Go to a day spa
   • Take a hot bath or shower
   • Do meditation or breathing exercises
   • Listen to music while having a drink of your choice. Hot chocolate. Tea. Wine. Beer. Whatever makes you feel good.
   • Read a book or some magazines
   • Watch some movies or TV shows that you love. Consider avoiding the sappy stuff that puts you in a bad mood about Valentine's Day.
2. Relax with activities you love. Do activities that make you happy. You may have certain hobbies you enjoy, or have thought about starting a new creative hobby. Instead of feeling bad, remind yourself of what you can do. Get your creative juices flowing in these ways:
   
   • Draw or paint. Find things that help you heal from feeling bad or lonesome.
   • Build something. If you're a handy person, get to work on some project that makes you feel good and productive.^[3]
   • Write. Write in a journal. Write poetry. Write short stories. Write anything that makes you feel like you're getting through this day and finding this time rewarding.
   • Do those things that you always enjoy doing. Valentine's Day should be about what you love to do.
3. Get active. Instead of sitting on the couch, get moving and get active. You may feel less depressed if you get your body moving in a healthy way.^[4] Take a little time for yourself to feel better. Exercise and drink plenty of water.^[5]
   
   • Go for walk.
   • Find a relaxing park to enjoy the outdoors.
   • Go to the gym.
   • Take a fitness class.
4. Get creative in the kitchen. While indulging in chocolate is part of the Valentine's Day tradition, think about using this day as an opportunity to be creative with cooking. You don't necessarily need to go out to a restaurant for a nice meal. Consider using this day as a way to be crafty with your culinary skills at home.
   
   • Bake cookies, pastries, and sweets that aren't your usual to-go desserts.
   • Focus less on high fat foods and find dishes that are fresh, healthy, and inventive.
   • Think red with your meals. Red bell peppers. Cherries. Strawberries. Tomatoes. Red onions. Red wine.^[6]
   • Making a delicious meal with a little effort may feel even more rewarding.

[Edit]Sharing the Day with Others

1. Give Valentine's Day cards or goodies to others. Remember when you were a kid in elementary school? You may have given out Valentine's Day cards to other classmates at school. You were taught to be kind and show love to everyone. Take action and give back to those around you.
   
   • Give Valentine's Day cards to show support for your friends, family, and co-workers. Valentine's Day cards don't have to be only romantic in nature. They can be fun, playful, and happy.
   • Bring some treats to work or school to share with others. Make sure that others feel appreciated on this day. Other people just like you may feel left out. Remind them that today is about being supportive and kind.
2. Plan a lunch, dinner, or party with single friends. Plan an activity like lunch, dinner, or hanging out after school or work. If you're wanting to party, you can design your own or attend one that's already planned.
   
   • A lunch may work well for people who are busy in the evenings. Plan this lunch in advance so that it's not last-minute and they'll more likely be able to attend.
   • Consider having a dinner at home with your other single friends. Make it a fun experience with creative food and activities.
   • Schedule a party with other singles. If you're wanting to mingle with other singles on this day, consider creating a singles' party or attending a singles' event with friends.^[7]
3. Involve your pets. If your furry friend is the love of your life, keep an eye out for Valentine's events that involve your pet. There may be pet parties, parades, or meetups at public parks or dog parks where you can bring pets and celebrate with other animal lovers.
   
4. Volunteer. There may be Valentine's events in your community that need your help — a children's play at a community center, for instance, or a party hosted by your church. You can also offer your time and service to a soup kitchen, domestic violence shelter, animal shelter, nursing home, or hospital to support others on this day. Volunteerism has been shown to improve the psychological wellbeing of the volunteer and may also help you feel less alone.^[8]
   
5. Reach out to friends and family that are supportive. Take this time to remind yourself that being single and lonely is something that everyone feels from one time or another.^[9] Use this holiday as a way to connect with your loved ones and friends who may also be going through a difficult time.
   
   • Call relatives who have helped you — parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles. Wish them a Happy Valentine's Day. They deserve your love as much as anyone else.
   • Call, write, or text your friends that you haven't talked with in a while. Show that you're still thinking of them and they matter to you.
   • Be kind to supportive friends and gracious strangers on Valentine's Day. You never know what someone may be going through. Consider saying, "I hope you have a fantastic day. You're awesome." They may also reciprocate those words to you and others.

[Edit]Letting Go of High Expectations

1. Avoid making this holiday all about your relationship status. Make a conscious effort to love yourself and others on this day. Avoid waiting around or hoping that someone else will fix everything and make you feel better. Whether you're single or not, you are the best judge of what matters to you. ^[10]
   
   • Focus on how you can take an active role in making yourself feel better on Valentine's Day.
   • Avoid seeing Valentine's Day in simple terms as only about romantic love.
   • Remember that this is a made-up holiday. Much of what you see and what you're told about Valentine's Day is through advertising. You are welcome to make your own traditions for this day.
2. Focus your time on those who care about you. Redirect your negative thoughts about being unloved or unappreciated to thoughts about who does care about and love you. Often the harshest critic on a holiday like Valentine's Day is yourself. You may certain unrealistic expectations about how the day should be.
   
   • Instead of focusing on your faults, remember those who care and love you.
   • Be kind and generous with your words. Tell those around you what makes them special.
   • Most likely there is more than one love in your life. Love doesn't need to be defined by your partner. Love can be shared with friends and family too. Spend more time with them. Make an effort to show that they mean as much to you as this romantic person you're looking for.
3. Make this day about gratitude. You may feel like you want to retreat into your comfort zone when you don't have a valentine on Valentine's Day. Instead of feeling sad, remember those who have had tough times and are lonesome too. Giving back and thanking those around you will make you feel better about this day.^[11]
   
   • Give food or your time to those in need.
   • Visit patients at a hospital or older adults at a retirement community. An unexpected visit may boost their spirits. Make sure to ask permission before visiting.^[12]
   • Help an acquaintance at work or school with something challenging.
   • Be present and think about the good things in your life. Take a few minutes to clear your mind and remember three things that you are thankful for at this moment in your life.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Break up With Someone on Valentine's Day

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v160959_b01].
2. ↑ http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2016/02/how-to-survive-valentines-day-when-youre-single/
3. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/money/how_to/37b_how_to.html
4. ↑ [v160959_b01].
5. ↑ https://themighty.com/2016/04/self-care-ideas-for-a-bad-day/
6. ↑ http://caloriecontrol.org/tips-for-a-healthy-valentines-day/
7. ↑ http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2016/02/how-to-survive-valentines-day-when-youre-single/
8. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3910233/
9. ↑ [v160959_b01].
10. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-hassler/dealing-with-valentines-d_b_165427.html
11. ↑ http://www.livescience.com/43388-making-valentines-day-better.html
12. ↑ http://www.theholidayspot.com/valentine/family_celebration.htm

source How to of the Day https://ift.tt/R50Gyxv

How to Protect Your Energy

Safeguard your energy and avoid burnout with our helpful tips

Protecting your energy is crucial so you can accomplish your goals and stay healthy, but where do you start? If you're looking for simple and effective strategies for optimizing your energy and protecting yourself from negativity, you've come to the right place! In this article, we're sharing the absolute best tips to help you keep the bad vibes away so you can maximize your energy and live your best life. Read on to get started!

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Eliminate negativity from your mind by focusing on physical sensations and living in the moment.
• Create a positive, soothing space in your home where you can unwind, relax, and let go of negativity.
• Pay attention to your feelings rather than ignoring them. Give yourself the space to process them in a healthy way, like through meditation or breathing exercises.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Practice mindfulness.

1. Banish negativity by focusing on the here and now. Take time to engage with the world around you. Observing the different sensations you experience is a great starting point, like the sights, sounds, and smells of your environment. Try to keep an open mind as you embrace life with this more intentional, negativity-free approach—when you truly live in the present, it's much easier to focus on the positives.^[1]
   
   • Take an extra moment to smell and savor a delicious lunch, or enjoy the scent of a passing breeze as you walk through the park.
   • Take time to note and count all the different items in your periphery, whether you're in class or at work.

[Edit]Try visualization.

1. Imagining a shield around you can help in moments of high stress. Shielding visualization techniques can help empaths and introverts block out toxic energy in real time.^[2] Close your eyes and visualize a beautiful white shield completely surrounding your body, or surround yourself with soothing white or pink light. Think of this “shield” as your own private bubble where toxic energy can’t reach you.^[3]
   
   • If you're having a tough time visualizing this on your own, check out guided meditations for self-protection. You can find guided meditations on mindfulness apps, YouTube, and spirituality websites.^[4]

[Edit]Declutter your space.

1. Tidy up the areas where you spend time to reduce chaotic energy. Our physical environments influence and reflect how we feel inside, so living (or working) in a messy space may actually be contributing to your stress and draining your energy. Work on decluttering areas where you spend a lot of time for a quick boost of mental clarity and positive energy.
   
   • Try to create a neat and comfortable sanctuary for yourself at home. Even if you’ve had a hectic day at work, knowing you have a refuge to go home to can make a huge difference.

[Edit]Dedicate a space to relaxing activities.

1. Promote positivity by making physical space for it in your life. Think about spots in your home where you feel the most relaxed and positive, whether that's your bedroom, kitchen, or somewhere else entirely. Add items to this space to make it even more soothing and calming, like scented candles, soft blankets, or fluffy pillows. Whether you're having a good or bad day, spend some time in this space to recharge your positive vibes.^[5]
   
   • Fill this space with colors that you really like, whether that's a light purple, deep red, or soothing green.
   • Add a potted plant of vase of flowers to your special sanctuary to give it an extra special touch.

[Edit]Give yourself time to recharge.

1. Carve out time for breaks to replenish your energy. Remember that life is a journey, not a sprint. If you're firing on all cylinders 24/7 without taking adequate time to refuel, you'll deplete your energy. Give yourself permission to rest when you need to! How often you need breaks (and what those breaks entail) is different for everyone, so go with what works for you.^[6]
   
   • For example, take frequent 5-10 minutes breaks during your workday to prevent burnout. Even a quick walk around the building or block can help!
   • On weekends, devote larger blocks of time to rest. Be sure to honor your needs—an extrovert might feel recharged after spending time with others, but introverts may need to spend some time alone to feel fully refreshed.

[Edit]Practice gratitude.

1. Focusing on what you're grateful for can shift and protect energy. When you’re in a situation that feels toxic, it’s easy to focus on the negative until it completely drains you. Practicing gratitude is a powerful tool for combating negativity, and you can do it anywhere! Get in the habit of making gratitude lists when you’re feeling energetically tapped out.^[7]
   
   • Showing kindness and appreciation also helps, especially in group situations when you're around a lot of people (like at school or in the workplace).

[Edit]Tune into your emotions.

1. Monitor your feelings and honor them instead of pushing them down. It's easy to repress anxiety so you can power through your day (especially when you're at work). Keep in mind, though, that mental stress eventually manifests in physical ways. Ignoring your emotional needs will eventually zap your energy and leave you feeling thoroughly drained. If you're constantly feeling fatigued, irritable, or generally overwhelmed, it's time to decompress.^[8] To process your emotions in a healthy way, try things like:^[9]
   
   • Learning to meditate
   • Doing breathing exercises
   • Taking up leisure hobbies
   • Writing in a journal^[10]

[Edit]Reconnect with nature.

1. Spend time outdoors to tap into the healing powers of mother nature. Visiting forests, parks, gardens, beaches, and other natural places of beauty can be extremely beneficial for you, both physically and psychologically. Studies show that spending time in the great outdoors can lower stress, boost your mood, replenish energy, and even improve empathy. Try activities like:^[11]
   
   • Camping
   • Hiking
   • Visiting state parks
   • Hitting the beach
   • Bicycling, walking, or jogging

[Edit]Set boundaries.

1. Work on asserting yourself and saying no when you feel overloaded. It’s easy to overextend yourself, whether it’s at work, in your relationships, at school, or all of the above. Instead of agreeing to take on that extra project or social engagement, really think about what you do (and don’t) have the bandwidth for. It's perfectly okay to set boundaries and say “no” to conserve precious energy.^[12]
   
   • Pay attention to how you feel before taking on something new; does the prospect truly excite you, or do you instantly feel stressed just thinking about it?
   • When you’re dealing with toxic people or negative coworkers, remember that “No” is a complete sentence and you don’t have to explain yourself.
   • Try to avoid getting involved in office drama and limit your time around negative workers.^[13]

[Edit]Take control of your schedule.

1. Work on time management skills to avoid spreading yourself too thin. If you habitually overextend yourself, or if it always seems like there just aren't enough hours in the day, organizing your schedule can help. Get all your tasks down on paper (or use a time management app) and allot specific time frames for each thing on your to-do list.^[14] As you're creating your schedule, remember to:
   
   • Prioritize the most important tasks
   • Block out time for focused work
   • Limit work meetings to certain times of the day
   • Build regular breaks into your routine
   • Set aside 7-9 hours per day for sleep^[15]

[Edit]Limit distractions.

1. Try to keep interruptions in check so you can focus on important tasks. Distractions can be a huge drain on your mental energy, especially in the workplace. And while multi-tasking is a great tool, constantly juggling email notifications, instant messages, meetings, and phone calls usually ends up being more exhausting than productive. To keep your energy up and really get things done, take steps to reduce the noise in the background.^[16] Try things like:
   
   • Block off time in your schedule to work on one thing at time.
   • Set your Slack status to “do not disturb” or “heads-down mode.”
   • Close any browser tabs, windows, and applications that you aren't using.
   • Silence your phone or tuck it in your desk drawer so that it's out of sight.

[Edit]Turn off your notifications.

1. Technology can drain your energy fast, so try to unplug sometimes. Devices allow you to do so many creative and productive things, but they can also steal your focus and demand more energy than you realize. Unplugging from technology completely for an hour (or more) a week can help, but if you can’t fully disconnect, try changing your notification settings so you can control what you’re seeing (and when).^[17]
   
   • If apps like Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and Twitter are draining you the most, consider trying a digital detox from social media.

[Edit]Limit your time around draining people.

1. Try to avoid demanding people who zap your time and energy. If you feel exhausted after spending time with someone or being around a particular coworker, that person may be draining your energy. People like this are sometimes referred to as energy vampires. To deal with energy vampires, try to limit your exposure to them or avoid them entirely.^[18] Watch out for people who:
   
   • Talk only about themselves
   • Show no interest in others
   • Are involved in constant drama
   • Need to be the center of attention
   • Are clingy, needy, or jealous^[19]

[Edit]Eat a healthy diet.

1. Nutritious food provides the fuel you need to tackle your day. Aim for a healthy balance of fats, proteins, high fiber, and carbohydrates. Include plenty of fresh fruits and veggies, and try to avoid processed foods with added sugars, like doughnuts and candy, since they're harder to digest. Consider eating 5-6 smaller meals (rather than 3 big meals) to sustain your energy throughout the day.^[20]
   
   • Remember to drink plenty of water to stay hydrated, as well! Dehydration can make you feel extra fatigued.
   • Limit caffeine and energy drinks so you don't experience crashes. Avoid ingesting more than 400 mg of caffeine (about 4 cups of coffee) per day and skip caffeine after lunchtime since it can disturb your sleep.^[21]

[Edit]Video

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
2. ↑ [v162354_b01]. 26 April 2023.
3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide/201804/5-protection-techniques-sensitive-people
4. ↑ https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/blogs/pathfinding-yoga-and-mindfulness/2020/01/20/guided-meditation-for-self-protection-the-shield
5. ↑ https://laclinicahealth.org/wellness-as-a-way-of-life-creating-a-sanctuary-as-a-place-for-self-care/
6. ↑ https://hbr.org/2021/05/4-ways-to-manage-your-energy-more-effectively
7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pain-rehabilitation/202101/5-surprising-ways-gratitude-improves-your-health
8. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/tips
9. ↑ [v162354_b01]. 26 April 2023.
10. ↑ [v161340_b01]. 3 April 2020.
11. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature
12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prescriptions-life/201311/7-ways-protect-your-energy-enforce-healthy-boundaries
13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/202104/how-to-survive-toxic-relationships-at-the-office
14. ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/12/10-quick-tips-for-avoiding-distractions-at-work
15. ↑ [v161407_b01]. 13 April 2020.
16. ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/12/10-quick-tips-for-avoiding-distractions-at-work
17. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rethink-your-way-the-good-life/202001/20-ways-protect-your-mental-health
18. ↑ [v162354_b01]. 26 April 2023.
19. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-drained-by-energy-vampires#how-to-spot-them
20. ↑ https://www.eatright.org/health/wellness/healthful-habits/eating-to-boost-energy
21. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/caffeine/art-20045678

source How to of the Day https://ift.tt/eGx2SC5

How to Order a Martini

Tips and tricks to order your drink like a seasoned pro

Ordering a martini with style means using the right lingo and understanding what it means. Keep reading to learn more.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Know Your Options

1. Know your martini basics. A standard, classic martini is made from gin and vermouth and garnished with an olive.^[1][2]
   
   • If you do not specify a different concentration of either gin or vermouth, the martini will be prepared with one part dry vermouth and four to five parts gin.
   • Gin is an alcoholic spirit made from distilled grain or malt. The spirit is also flavored with juniper berries.
   • Vermouth is a liquor made with wine, also known as a fortified wine, that is flavored with an infusion of herbs, flowers, spices, and other botanical ingredients.
2. Ask for vodka instead of gin. Even though a classic martini is made with gin, a fairly recent trend is to opt for vodka, instead.^[3] You can specify this change at the start of your order, and it should be the first change you make if you decide to make it.
   
   • Vodka refers to an alcoholic spirit made from distilled rye, wheat, or potatoes. On occasion, it is also made from fermented fruits and sugar, but these types of vodka are not often used in martinis.
   • Older bars will almost always use gin by default, but in some newer bars, the bartender might use vodka as the default, instead. To be on the safe side, specify which one you want whenever you order a martini.
3. Choose your liquor brand.^[4] By default, you will be given the cheapest brand of gin or vodka available at the bar. If you are particular about your liquor brands, you should specifically state the brand you want in your martini.
   
   • The cheapest, default brand is referred to as the "well."
   • If you do not have a preferred brand and are not familiar with the brands that are out there, ask the bartender about the different brands available at the bar. You can either pick one at random if you want to maintain appearances and pretend to know what you're talking about, or ask the bartender for his or her recommendation.
   • If you decide to specify the brand of alcohol, you only need to state the name of the brand and not the name of the alcohol. For example, you would order "Beefeater," not "Gin Beefeater" or "Beefeater Gin." Similarly, you would order "Vox," not "Vodka Vox" or "Vox Vodka."
4. Change the content, preparation, and presentation. Among the various ways you can personalize your martini, you can change the ration of gin to vermouth, the way the cocktail is mixed, and the garnish the martini will be served with.
   
   • It is not enough to merely know what your options are; learn the lingo to make your martini ordering experience go smoothly and to order your drink with class.
   • If you only order a “martini,” some bartenders will ask you questions about how you want it prepared using the lingo. As a result, even if you want the drink in its most basic, generic form, you should still know what the related terms are.

[Edit]Learn the Lingo

1. Order your martini wet, dry, or extra dry. These terms refer to the ratio of gin or vodka to vermouth. If you do not specify what you want, you will be served a martini with a standard ratio.
   
   • A wet martini is a martini with extra vermouth.
   • A dry martini refers to a martini with less vermouth in it.
   • Ordering your martini very dry would mean that it only contains trace amounts of vermouth, if that. The bartender may roll the vermouth in the glass to coat it with a film without leaving any of the liquor itself in the glass upon serving the drink.
2. Make it dirty. A "dirty" martini refers to a martini with olive juice or olive brine mixed in.
   
   • The olive taste tends to be fairly potent, and the drink itself will usually become cloudy as a result of the addition.
3. Try your martini with a twist or ask for a Gibson. By default, a martini is served with an olive. You can change the garnish using these terms, though.
   
   • Order your martini with a twist if you want it served with a twist of lemon peel instead of an olive.
   • If you decide to order your martini with a cocktail onion garnish, the name of the drink changes completely from martini to Gibson. In other words, you would ask for a Gibson, not a martini with a Gibson or a martini with an onion.
4. Opt for a clean martini. A clean martini refers to a martini served without a garnish.
   
   • On the other hand, if you want an extra garnish—an extra olive, for instance—you can ask for that, as well. Note that asking for extra olive or extra garnish in general does not have any special terminology.
5. Get it on the rocks, neat, or straight up. The option you choose will determine whether or not you get ice in your martini.
   
   • In bar lingo, ordering a drink on the rocks means ordering it served over ice. The drink will stay cooler but may get diluted over time.
   • If you ask for a neat martini, you are asking for the alcohol to be poured straight from the bottle and into the glass without any ice. As a result, the drink will be room temperature and will not be diluted at all.
   • Asking for your martini up or straight up means asking for the gin or vodka to be chilled with ice, usually by shaking or stirring, and strained into the martini glass with no ice in the glass itself. This offers the most balance, since the alcohol is chilled but will not be diluted as the ice melts.
6. Make it sweet or make it perfect. Dry vermouth is the standard type used, but if you would prefer something with a sweeter touch, these are the two options you should be familiar with.
   
   • Ask to make your martini sweet if you want the bartender to use sweet vermouth instead of dry vermouth.
   • Similarly, a perfect martini will use equal parts dry and sweet vermouth, creating a balanced flavor.
7. Have the martini naked, shaken, or stirred. The choice you make will determine how the gin or vodka is mixed with the vermouth in your drink.
   
   • A stirred martini is the most traditional way to mix a martini, and at most high-class bars, this is the default preparation method.^[5] The alcohol is mixed in the glass with a special stirring rod. This produces a clear martini and, as many purists will claim, the most silky texture since stirring does not break up the oils in the gin.
   • A shaken martini is mixed in a special cocktail shaker, in which it is literally shaken back and forth. This is fairly common for dirty martinis, but the downside is that shaking the alcohol tends to "bruise" or cause the oils to separate in the gin, leading to a cloudier drink.
   • A naked martini refers to a martini in which all of the ingredients have been chilled in a freezer. The alcohol will then be poured straight into a chilled cocktail glass and served without mixing.

[Edit]At the Bar

1. Know what you want before you approach the bar. In a packed bar, good etiquette means knowing what you want before you approach the bartender. A good bar will not rush you along, but nonetheless, you should know as much about what you want as possible before talking with the bartender.
   
   • A possible exception, however, would be if you are inquiring about the brands of gin or vodka available.
   • Also note that if the bar is not particularly crowded, you might be able to take a bit more time ordering, especially if you can tell that no one else is waiting to place a drink order.
2. Get the bartender's attention. Have a firm presence but be polite. The most appropriate way to get a bartender's attention is to stand at the bar in a spot where you can be seen. Establish eye contact and offer a smile. These actions alone should be enough to tell a good bartender to walk over once he becomes available.
   
   • When ordering for someone else, make sure you know what that person wants before getting up to the bar. Do not call back and ask for his or her order after you have already caught the attention of the bartender. Moreover, if you are ordering for more than just yourself, you should have enough money in your hand to suggest as much. Do not wave the money around, though, as this is considered a sign of rudeness.
   • Never try to get the bartender's attention by waving your money, snapping your fingers, or yelling.
3. Put it all together. Once you have the bartender's attention, it is time to tell him what you want. Use the lingo you learned to order your martini. Call your base first, specify your preferred concentration of vermouth, indicate if you want ice, ask for your garnish, and finish off with how you want the bartender to mix it together.
   
   • For example, order a martini with Beefeater, extra dry and with a twist, straight up if you want a martini made with Beefeater brand gin and very little vermouth. It will have a lemon twist, and the gin will be chilled with ice before being strained into the cocktail glass.
   • As another example, order a dirty martini with vodka, wet and shaken if you want a martini made with the cheapest vodka at the bar, extra vermouth, and olive brine. It will have the standard olive garnish, and it will be mixed with ice in a cocktail shaker.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Warnings

• Drink responsibly. Do not drink and drive or try to perform any other activity that could be dangerous when your senses are impaired.
• Do not drink under the legal age limit. In the United States, the legal drinking age is 21.

[Edit]Things You'll Need

• Driver's license (or other official photo ID showing your birth date)

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161921_b01]. 30 August 2021.
2. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/01/how-to-order-a-martini_n_1311276.html
3. ↑ [v161921_b01]. 30 August 2021.
4. ↑ [v161921_b01]. 30 August 2021.
5. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/karl-kozel/ordering-a-martini-the-ol_b_539395.html

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How to Tell if Someone Is Your Friend

Friends make life more rich and satisfying, that’s for sure. But sometimes it can be hard to tell when you've crossed the line from "acquaintance" to "friend" with another person. Learn to recognize who's a friend in your life by searching for some key elements. Look for qualities such as being loyal and dependable, spending time with you, always wanting to hang out with you and showing that they care about you. Sometimes, people act as if they are your friend, but don't always act like it. It can make you feel left out and not wanted.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Evaluating Their Loyalty and Dependability

1. Reflect on how you treat one another. Friends are typically loyal to one another, meaning that you shouldn’t reflect back to countless occasions when they have betrayed you, and vice versa. It’s hard for two people to be friends and not ever let one another down. But, betrayals shouldn’t be standard in the relationship.^[1]
   
   • If this person never talks about you behind your back, spreads rumors about you, or disappoints you repeatedly in other ways, they probably are your friend.^[2]
   • A good friend should value you as a person, not view your friendship as a series of transactions.^[3]
2. Determine if they keep your secrets. Friends are infamous for taking secrets to the grave. If you shared information that you did not want known by the general public, your friend keeps their lips sealed.^[4]
   
3. See if they have your back during hard times. One of the positives about going through a breakup, losing a loved one, or having a setback in life is that you can count on your friends to be there. This person shouldn’t only be around during the good times, if they are truly your friend.^[5]
   
   • Think about a time when you were having a really hard time in your life. Was this person there for you?
   • A true friend should be with you through the good, bad, and ugly. They should offer to help you however they can, and bring you back from the darkness into the light again. A true friend would never think of leaving you during a difficult time in your life.
   • A fake friend, or someone who you are not close to, will probably only stick around when things are going well. They might even think or say that your problems are a burden to them. That's the mark of a fake friend.
4. See if they are happy when you achieve your goals. A true friend will not be jealous when you share any achievement or success in your life. They will celebrate your accomplishments instead trying to tear you down. To decide if this is an authentic friendship or not, pay attention to see if your friend sticks around while you reach new goals and high points in your life.
   
5. Notice if they prioritize your friendship. If you know that you can count on this person at the drop of a dime, they probably are your friend. Good friends prioritize their pals over other relationships and situations, especially when they know you need them.^[6]
   
   • For example, even if your friend is away on vacation, they’ll still make time to call back and check in on you when you’re sick.

[Edit]Reflecting on Your Time Together

1. Ask if they make time for you, even when they are busy. While people can remain friends without seeing one another for a long time, friendships are sustained with quality time together. Even if your friend is busy with school, work, or other responsibilities, they should still make time to call, text, or hang out.^[7]
   
   • This goes both ways. If you call someone your “friend” but never seem to have time for them, you may need to reassess how important they are to you.
2. Check if they get jealous of other friendships. A true friend won't be jealous or possessive - they should feel confident enough in your friendship that they don't have to resort to any sort of manipulative control. They realize that you do not have to be in their company 24/7 in order to validate the friendship. If your friend is trying to prevent you from being friends with other people, they might not be a true friend.
   
3. Make sure you enjoy being together. This probably goes without saying, but friends have fun together. No matter if you are bored at home watching TV or painting the town red, it’s all the more tolerable when you’re together.^[8]
   
   • As a result of enjoying spending time together, you and your friend probably have a host of memories you’ve made together.
4. Decide if they help make you a better person. Some people may pretend to be your friend, but they’d much rather see you fail or get into trouble. Incidents happen, of course. But, for the most part, this person should be a good influence on you. They motivate you to become a better person.^[9]
   
   • For example, your friend might push you to finish school, suggest that you mend fences with your estranged relatives, and inspire you to give back to others.
5. Reflect on how you feel when they're around. A true friend should make you feel happier and more alive when you're around them, instead of drained or stressed out. A day spent with your friend should leave you feeling rejuvenated, vibrant, and excited about life. They should be lifting you up, not tearing you down.
   
   • Try to really think about what you're hoping to get from your relationship. Does this friendship look and feel the way you'd like to?^[10]
6. Notice that you have deeper conversations with this person. If a friend asks “How’s it going?” you’re not pressured to respond with “fine.” Instead, you’ll likely go right into how your mom is stressing you out or how your girlfriend is acting differently.^[11]
   
   • This element of communication between close contacts is often referred to as self-disclosure. You are more likely to disclose intimate details about yourself with a friend than you are with a total stranger or casual acquaintance.
7. Question if they really know you and still accept you. Friends allow you to be who you are with no restrictions. If someone is your friend, you have the luxury of showing them your true self—a self that many others may not fully know—but you can still count on this person to love and accept you anyway.^[12]
   
   • Friends don’t have to pretend with one another like many people do in casual relationships.
   • A true friend shouldn't want to change who you are. They will accept and embrace everything about you, even your awkward and silly parts. This does not mean they have to agree with everything you do or say, but they should not bash you or try to change you.

[Edit]Noticing How They Show Concern

1. Determine if they listen. Friends won’t make it all about them in communication. In addition to knowing when to share, they also know when and how to listen. Good listening skills in a friend are important because you need to feel heard and understood by the people you care about.^[13]
   
   • Pay attention in your next conversation. Does your friend take the time to hear your message before responding?
   • Even if your friend isn't the best listener, it should be clear that they are trying to hear you out and not just talking about themselves.
2. Question if they respect your boundaries. Healthy relationships of any kind require boundaries—friendships are no exception. A good friend should be willing to acknowledge and respect those boundaries. At the same time, they shouldn’t feel threatened by them.
   
   • For example, if you tell a friend that you don’t feel comfortable with them reading your diary or journal, they should respect your wish.
3. Figure out if they support you. A friend is someone who shows their affection for you in many ways, one of which is in their support for you and your ideas, interests, and goals. This person should be willing to clap for you when you are succeeding and help nurse your wounds when you are hurt.^[14]
   
4. Notice if they are forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes, and your friend should be willing to accept that you’re no different. When you mess up and hurt their feelings, you might apologize and beg for their forgiveness. A good friend will gratefully accept your apology and offer you forgiveness. They won’t hold your misdeed over your head or use it to manipulate you.^[15]
   
   • For example, if you forgot to call a friend back, they shouldn't avoid you for several days. They should recognize that it was a simple mistake and not give you a hard time about it.
5. Listen for honest feedback. The thing that separates a friend from the general population is their investment in you as a person. They care about you, which means they are honest with you, even if what they have to say hurts.^[16]
   
   • A friend should offer constructive feedback if you’re not doing what you need to be doing. For example, they may say, “You need to get up and study for your math test. Your grade is already low…Come on. I’ll help you.”
   • A true friend won't let you feel left out and always include you, and not replace you for someone else, e.g. running of with someone else and leaving you all alone.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.liveabout.com/how-do-you-know-when-to-call-someone-a-friend-1385633
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/lifetime-connections/201503/the-13-essential-traits-good-friends
3. ↑ [v161768_b01]. 9 April 2021.
4. ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/life/friends-family/a40140/signs-someone-isnt-really-your-friend/
5. ↑ https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/16/when-friends-disappear-during-a-health-crisis/
6. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/04/qualities-of-real-friends_n_5709821.html
7. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/adrienne-partridge-/10-characteristics-of-friendships-that-keep_b_6337526.html
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/lifetime-connections/201503/the-13-essential-traits-good-friends
9. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/04/qualities-of-real-friends_n_5709821.html
10. ↑ [v161768_b01]. 9 April 2021.
11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/give-and-take/201407/do-you-know-who-your-real-friends-are
12. ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/life/friends-family/a40140/signs-someone-isnt-really-your-friend/
13. ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/life/friends-family/a40140/signs-someone-isnt-really-your-friend/
14. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/adrienne-partridge-/10-characteristics-of-friendships-that-keep_b_6337526.html
15. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/04/qualities-of-real-friends_n_5709821.html
16. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/give-and-take/201407/do-you-know-who-your-real-friends-are

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