How to Understand Your Personality

Who doesn't love taking personality quizzes and comparing the results with their friends? Learning more about your personality is fun, but it can also be a genuinely helpful way to understand yourself better, make smarter decisions that set you up for success, and improve your relationships. There are a lot of different ways you can dig deeper into your personality, and this article will walk you through some of the best to help you get started.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Reflecting on Your Personality

1. Identify your morals. Everyone has an inherent sense of what they know is right and wrong. Many call this their “inner voice” or conscience. When you understand your moral codes, you may feel good and pleased. When you don't listen, your "inner voice" may make you feel guilty, uncomfortable, or anxious.^[1]
   
   • Identify and be aware when these moral dilemmas occur. Listen to your conscience as it guides you.
   • Your morals will help guide you in knowing the self. It may allow you to recognize the things that are bad for you, as well as those things that bring you hope.
   • As you live by your morals, remember that good does exist. It can win out when you put your morality into action.
2. Recognize your values. Values are the big ideas that shape your decisions. These ideas are broad goals like having financial security, being close to family, or staying healthy. When you can acknowledge your values, you can set goals that are in alignment with your personality. This will increase the likelihood that you meet your goals and lead a happy life.^[2][3]
   
   • For example, if you value financial security, you could set the goal of having six months worth of salary in an emergency savings account. While this is hard to accomplish, if you are being true to your values, you have greater chance of succeeding.
3. Know what you are passionate about. While your values are the motivation behind your goals, your passions can provide the focus needed to reach them. You will know you are passionate about something if it holds your interest for extended periods of time. If you build a career (or even a hobby) around these passions, you will remain happier and more fulfilled than if you neglect them.^[4]
   
   • For example, if your passion is art, you will be much happier in a career that focuses on art instead of a career in banking. Even if you are not an artist, you could do things like curate art, teach art, or write about art.
4. Understand your social needs. While all people need some general things like friends and a support structure, the degree to which one person needs them may vary. This is where the words introvert and extrovert come into play. Take notice of how you recharge yourself after a hard week. Do you go out with friends, or do you need some time alone? Understanding these needs will allow you to keep yourself balanced and happy as you march through your day to day life.^[5]
   
   • Extroverts enjoy being around people and being spontaneous.
   • Introverts enjoy time alone and planning their days carefully.
5. Track your rhythms. Knowing when you are your most energized or most tired can play an important role in your overall success. Make note of when you feel your best, and when you feel tired. Track things like when you are hungry, and when you feel most like exercising. Use this information to keep your mind and body in sync.^[6]
   
   • If you are a morning person, working third shift might not be your calling. On the flip side, a night owl is likely to be late getting to a job that starts at 6:00 AM.
6. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. No one is great at everything, and that's okay. Recognize the things that other people acknowledge you for doing well, and the things they don't. Also, pay attention to when you feel like you are succeeding in a task, and when you are struggling. This will start building your awareness of your own particular talents and abilities. When you know what these are, you can use that knowledge to improve your weaknesses or play to your strengths.^[7]
   
   • Your strengths might include abilities like “focus,” “math skills,” “creativity,” and “understanding people.”
   • It's okay if it takes some time to figure these out—be open and curious, and keep in mind that this is a path that can take some time.^[8]
7. Get feedback. Ask your close friends and family how they see your personality. Compare what they say to how you feel about your personality. If they match, then it is likely that you display these traits consistently.
   
   • If several people close to you have very different views on your personality, you should examine your beliefs about yourself.

[Edit]Taking Personality Tests

1. Understand what type of test is best for you. There are hundreds of different types of psychological personality tests that assess and measure your unique and individual variables. The type of tests that you choose will depend upon what it is you want to find out about yourself, how much time you are willing to commit to taking the test, what questions you are willing to answer, and how much you want to spend on taking the test. These tests may include:^[9]
   
   • Tests to measure your level of intelligence as well as your neurological and cognitive analytical functioning.
   • Tests to measure if you're an extrovert or introvert and how you work with others.
   • Tests to measure how you analyze situations and cope with varying types of stresses.
   • Tests to measure if you are more prone to certain types of mental health concerns.
   • Recognize that each test has its own strengths and weaknesses, and it will be up to you to do your research on the type of test that interests you.
2. Choose a personality test. Carl Jung is credited with starting our fascination with personality testing. In the early 1900s he developed a way to take inventory of a person's particular traits. Since then this idea has been adapted to several different versions. Some popular ones include:^[10]
   
   • Personality and Preferences Inventory (PAPI) - This test is often used to screen candidates in a business setting.
   • Myers-Briggs Type indicator - This test is used to identify personal preferences in introversion, extroversion, sensation, thinking, intuition, and functioning.
   • True Colors Test - This test classifies personality traits into colors to make it easy to understand.
3. Take the test in a relaxed state of mind. Take a few deep breaths or use a visualization technique to calm your mind before taking a personality test. You should also take the test when you are well rested and your appetite is satisfied. Being stressed during the test will make it harder to answer questions accurately and honestly. Overthinking each question will lead to confusion about which answer is the “right answer.”
   
4. Answer the questions honestly. After years of school, most people are hardwired to look for the “right” answer or the “most right answer.” With personality tests, there is no such thing as a right or wrong answer. You are not being graded, you are exploring your own personal attributes. Answer the questions as you are, not as you wish to be or as you think you are supposed to answer them.
   
   • For example, you could encounter a question like “Do you like to take the lead on a project, or be given direction?” Many people might feel inclined to pick “Take the lead,” because they feel that this is the “right” answer, but if you hate the idea of managing a team, you should answer “Take direction.”

[Edit]Understanding Personality Test Results

1. Know the basis for most personality tests. Though this may not stand true for every test ever developed, most personality tests evaluate personality based on five traits (often called the Big Five). Each of these traits show up in some degree in all people, and your personality depends upon which ones are dominant.These five characteristics are abbreviated with the acronym OCEAN. The traits are as follows:^[11]
   
   • O is for openness.
   • C is for conscientiousness.
   • E is for extroversion.
   • A is for agreeableness.
   • N is for neuroticism.
2. Look at each trait as a spectrum. For example, no person is totally introverted or totally extroverted. That would mean that someone never wanted to be around any person, or that they never wanted to be alone even for a moment. That said, most people lean to one side or the other. This is true with each personality trait. You cannot be defined as totally one trait, but will find where you fall on the gradient from introversion to extroversion.^[12]
   
   • The same holds true for the traits of openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and neuroticism.
3. Be aware of changes. As we move through life, we experience new things. These new experiences force us to grow and change as people. You should be aware of how this growth affects your personality. Allow yourself to acknowledge when your personality has shifted, no matter how slightly. This will help you to stay true to yourself as you grow.^[13]
   
4. Change parts of your personality that make you unhappy. If you are not happy with your current personality, you can make changes. Just setting goals and focusing on the traits you want to display can effect short term changes in your personality. If you keep this going long enough, you can start to see yourself differently and alter your social and emotional self to the point that changes become long term.^[14]
   
   • If you are serious about changing major aspects of your personality, you may want to consult a mental health professional. They can offer guidance and supervision to help you attain your goals in a safe and responsible way.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• If you feel that the results of a personality test are wrong, try it again. You know your personality better than anyone.

[Edit]Warnings

• Use your personality traits as strengths, not excuses. For example, if you are an extrovert, that is no excuse to avoid spending some time alone studying.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Change Your Whole Personality
• Deal with Borderline Personality Disorder
• Recognize a Controlling Person
• Cope With a Controlling Person
• Develop a Good Personality
• Describe Your Personality

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201811/6-ways-to-discover-and-choose-your-core-values
2. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 19 March 2020.
3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/changepower/201603/know-yourself-6-specific-ways-know-who-you-are
4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/changepower/201603/know-yourself-6-specific-ways-know-who-you-are
5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/changepower/201603/know-yourself-6-specific-ways-know-who-you-are
6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/changepower/201603/know-yourself-6-specific-ways-know-who-you-are
7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/changepower/201603/know-yourself-6-specific-ways-know-who-you-are
8. ↑ [v161686_b01]. 19 January 2021.
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/personality
10. ↑ http://list25.com/25-different-personality-tests-to-help-you-discover-yourself/
11. ↑ https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/IPIP-BFFM/
12. ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/big-five-personality.html
13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/media-spotlight/201509/can-you-change-your-personality
14. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/media-spotlight/201509/can-you-change-your-personality

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How to Stop a Dog from Jumping Up on Strangers

Is there anything better than your dog greeting you? Their little tail wags, and all they want is to kiss you, but what do you do when your pup starts jumping up on you or other people? Jumping is normal behavior for dogs—it’s how they channel their excitable energy and ask for attention. However, jumping-up behavior can be disruptive, especially to strangers. We’ve got everything you need to know about dogs jumping up on strangers, from the whys to the hows. Read on to learn how to keep your furry friend on their best behavior.

This article is based on an interview with our certified dog trainer and behaviorist, Sheri Williams, owner of sheriwilliams.com.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Why do dogs jump up on people?

1. Dogs jump up because they want attention. If your pup meets someone new or is waiting at the door for you, they’ll most likely jump up from the excitement of getting some extra pats.^[1] Your doggo is so excited to receive praise and belly rubs that they’ll jump and jump until they get the attention they seek.
   
   • This isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Jumping is normal dog behavior but can be a little rude, especially if your pup accidentally knocks someone down with their glee.
   • It can be easy to accidentally reinforce jumping behavior. You’re just as excited to give your pup all the attention they crave that you may find yourself praising them when they jump up.
   • Try not to beat yourself up about it if you’re dog has started jumping up on people. This behavior can easily be untaught with the right training techniques.

[Edit]How to Stop Your Dog from Jumping

1. Ignore your dog’s jumping behavior. The first and best thing you can do is ignore your dog. We know it’s hard disregarding that adorable face, but walk right by or stand really still. Dogs read body language to gauge their surroundings, and this will teach your pup that they won’t get attention by jumping up.^[2]
   
   • By moving away or walking past your dog, your body language says, “I’m not giving you attention.”
   • Think of it as acting like a tree. Don’t move. Don’t speak.
   • Try the “turn your back” technique if you find ignoring your furry friend to be a bit tough. All you have to do is turn around when they try to jump up.^[3]
   • When your dog calms down and places all paws on the floor, bend over and acknowledge them with plenty of cuddles.
2. Ask your friends to ignore your dog’s jumping too. A dog’s behavior won’t change without persistence. Let your friends and people you meet know that you’re training your dog to stop jumping up. If your pup approaches them, ask them to stay still or simply walk by. This will help your furry friend realize that you’re not the only one enforcing this new rule.^[4] Try saying something like:
   
   • “I can’t wait for you to meet Rex! But if he jumps up on you, please don’t acknowledge it. We’re working on that.”
   • “Are you okay with dogs? Charlie’s big, and I’m warning you, he jumps. Just stand still and turn around. I’m training him, and the first step is ignoring the jumping.”
   • “Jet is going to love you! He’s been jumping lately, and we’re still training, so please don’t pet or talk to him if he does jump on you.”
3. Use a lead on your dog when people are near. A lead or leash is a great way to help train your dog to behave when meeting new people and put you back in control. If your pup starts to jump, give the lead a small tug. You can reel your pup back to your side and help calm their excitement.^[5]
   
   • Use commands like “sit” and “stay” when using the lead trick.
   • Keep a distance between you and the stranger with your pup pulled closely at your side.
   • Lessening the slack on the lead means your pup can’t jump too high.
   • Dogs read body language, so stay calm when introducing your pup to new people.^[6]
4. Train your dog to sit when meeting someone. This will help your dog associate meeting strangers with different behavior. If your pup starts jumping up, you can say “sit,” and they’ll be reminded of what they’re supposed to do—plus, they’ll get plenty of ear scratches in return. To teach the sit cue, all you need are a few treats and some patience.^[7]
   
   • Hold a treat out in front of your pup’s nose, just out of reach.
   • Raise the treat towards your pup’s head, causing them to sit.
   • Say “yes” when your pup’s bottom hits the ground and give them the treat.
5. Put your dog in another room when guests come over. When you’re first training a dog to not jump up, it’s important to prevent any “rehearsing” behavior. This means avoiding all situations where your pup may get attention for jumping up. Simply place them in the room a few minutes before your guests arrive.^[8]
   
   • You can also keep your pup in their crate if your guests are only visiting for a short while.
   • If you don’t have a separate room or crate, you can set up a dog or baby gate in a hallway to give your pup their own space.
   • Explain to your guests that you’re training your dog, and if they want to meet them, they can’t acknowledge any jumping-up behavior.
6. Teach your dog “default down.” This training technique can help calm an overly excited dog. Basically, “default down” is a start position for anything your pup wants. Your pup has to be lying down if they want anything—a treat, belly rub, walk, you name it.^[9] Start by teaching your dog to sit, and then teach them the “down” command.^[10]
   
   • Once your pup knows the commands, ask them to lie down before getting anything. This will help them recognize that “down” should be their default behavior.
7. Teach your dog to “stay.” When accompanied with “sit,” “stay” can prevent your pup from running up to a guest or stranger and jumping up on them. The word “stay” tells your pup to relax and keep still. Here are some tips for teaching your pup “stay:”^[11]
   
   • Start by teaching “sit,” moving on to “stay” once mastered.
   • Only reward when your pup is completely still and doesn’t move.
   • Increase the distance you move away after commanding “sit” over time.
   • Train “sit” and “stay” by a front door to encourage friendly greetings.
8. Teach your dog “four on the floor.” Only praise your dog when all paws are on the ground. This is an easy way to let your pup know that they won’t get any attention unless they’re standing or sitting on the ground. Soon, jumping will be a thing of the past!^[12]
   
   • Keep some treats near the door to reward good behavior when greeting you or a stranger.
   • Bend over right away when greeting your dog, so they don't have a chance to jump up.
9. Try putting a doggie backpack on your dog. If your pup is still jumping up on people after trying multiple methods to make them stop, your doggo may need a little extra support. Doggie backpacks are designed to hug, soothe, and calm dogs. Paired with other commands like “sit,” the doggie backpack can help your pup greet strangers with confidence.^[13]
   
   • Talk to your veterinarian about your pup’s anxiety and stress levels. They’ll be able to recommend the right doggie backpack for your dog and provide personalized care.
10. Reward your dog’s good behavior with treats. When your furry friend does something right, give them a treat or praise in a timely manner. The more you acknowledge and reward good behavior, the more likely your pup will want to keep being good!
    
    • Reward your pup immediately after they do something good, so they can associate the action with the reward.
    • Only reward your pup when they’re standing or sitting on all paws.
    • Try to keep others from giving your pup treats as this can distract and derail your training.^[14]

[Edit]What to Do When Your Dog Jumps on Strangers

1. Apologize for your dog and explain your training. If your dog jumps up on a stranger, apologize and ask the stranger to ignore your pup and not move. This is a great opportunity to explain the whys and hows of training a dog not to jump up. Who knows? It may even start a lively conversation! You can start by saying something like:
   
   • “I’m so sorry about that! We’re currently working on not jumping up on people.”
   • “So sorry! If he jumps again, could you not move? I’m actually training him to stop jumping.”
   • “Sorry about that! I’d love to chat, but we’re working on not jumping on people, and walking away is one of the techniques.”
2. Stay calm and collected. Dogs read body language, and being relaxed when introducing your pup to new people can help them feel at ease.^[15] If you have nothing to be overly excited about, your pup will realize everything’s okay and calm down too.
   
3. Be patient and consistent. It may be difficult for a dog to stop jumping, and that’s okay! You’re helping your furriest friend rework their behavior, and that doesn’t happen overnight. Patience, persistence, and consistency are key to helping your dog be their best possible self. So, remain calm and keep working at it—your doggo will get there soon enough!^[16]
   

[Edit]How Do You Stop Your Dog From Jumping On People?

[Edit]Video

[Edit]References

1. ↑ [v161555_b01]. 15 September 2020.
2. ↑ [v161436_b01]. 5 June 2020.
3. ↑ https://youtu.be/QEH1TBEidj0?t=60
4. ↑ https://resources.bestfriends.org/article/dog-jumping
5. ↑ https://www.thekennelclub.org.uk/dog-training/getting-started-in-dog-training/dog-training-and-games/how-do-i-stop-my-dog-from-jumping-up/
6. ↑ [v161436_b01]. 5 June 2020.
7. ↑ https://resources.bestfriends.org/article/dog-jumping
8. ↑ https://resources.bestfriends.org/article/dog-jumping
9. ↑ https://bestfriends.org/stories/features/jumpy-and-mouthy-dog-gets-centered
10. ↑ https://aawl.org/sites/default/files/teaching_your_dog_the_down_command.pdf
11. ↑ https://indoorpet.osu.edu/dogs/puppy/basic-manners
12. ↑ https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/help-advice/training/jumping-up-training
13. ↑ https://bestfriends.org/stories/features/jumpy-and-mouthy-dog-gets-centered
14. ↑ https://www.thekennelclub.org.uk/dog-training/getting-started-in-dog-training/dog-training-and-games/how-do-i-stop-my-dog-from-jumping-up/
15. ↑ [v161436_b01]. 5 June 2020.
16. ↑ https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/help-advice/training/jumping-up-training

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How to Strengthen Character

There are many ways to describe being a “strong” person. Some common traits include honesty, loyalty, and a good work ethic. You can follow some common guidelines to strengthen multiple aspects of your character. You’ll want to work on improving your best qualities--this will allow you to fully develop into your best self. It is also helpful to work on practicing more empathy and expressing gratitude. Finally, you can build a strong character by taking on leadership roles and facing challenges head on.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Focusing on Your Best Qualities

1. Be more honest. Honesty is a key component of your character. Show others that you are honest by making your actions match your words. For example, if you tell your partner that you will be more supportive of their career, show them you mean it. You could make a point to ask them about a big project they're on or you could offer to take over dinner duty during a particularly busy time.^[1]
   
   • You can also become more honest by acting sincere. Don't feel that you always have to act a certain way. Give honest reactions.
   • For example, you can say to your partner, "I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive earlier. I think it was because I just miss you when you're at work."
2. Build your self-awareness. Self-awareness means paying getting to know yourself on a deeper level. By being self-aware, you can understand how your ideas and reactions are shaped. Getting a better sense of who you are can help you build your character. Set aside time to self-reflect each day. You can ask yourself questions such as, "Why did I react like that when Sue said that?" and "How could I improve my reaction the next time there is a conflict?"^[2]
   
   • Meditation is also a great way to gain self-awareness. You can learn to meditate by downloading an app, taking a class, or reading a book on meditation. You can also just sit quietly and see where your thoughts take you!
3. Gain more self-control. You can develop your self-control by making small changes to your daily life. For example, you could work on controlling impulse eating. When you're about to reach for a late night snack, stop and ask yourself if you're actually hungry. Then drink a big glass of water instead. You can consciously think about controlling your impulses.^[3]
   
   • Making your bed daily is a great habit to commit to. It will help you develop discipline, which you can then use in other parts of your life.
4. Practice integrity. Living with integrity means that you're being true to the person you are inside. If your actions don't match your beliefs, then you will always feel unsettled inside. Know and honor your personal values and morals in your everyday life. Make your decisions based on these values, and don't bend to peer pressure.^[4]
   
   • Join a cause that fits with your values.
   • Think about how your decisions fall in line with your beliefs.
   • Change habits that are out of line with your beliefs.
   • Be honest.
5. Take responsibility for your mistakes and make things right. Everyone makes mistakes, but how you handle them shows your character. Be honest when you've messed up, and do what you can to make amends for your actions. Depending on the situation, you may need to apologize. Other times, you may need to change your behavior or take action to make up for what you did.
   
   • Work with the person you harmed to come up with a solution.
   • Consider ways that you could balance the situation.
   • If you make a mistake or do harm to someone else, admit your mistake and make it right. You could say, "I'm sorry that I took credit for your idea. I'm going to tell everyone that you're the one who thought of it."
6. Take calculated risks. There are lots of reasons to take risks, such as increasing your confidence and finding new ways to pursue success. A calculated risk is when you have weighed the risks and the benefits. Don't dive headfirst into something that you haven't thought about.^[5]
   
   • For example, maybe you've dreamed of starting your own photography business. It probably doesn't make sense to suddenly quit your job and depend on a brand new business. A better strategy would be to start small. Try booking photography gigs on the weekend. As your business develops, you could think more seriously about pursuing your passion full time.
7. Practice patience. It's normal to find yourself feeling impatient at times. Maybe you've had to bite your tongue when a co-worker didn't immediately grasp a concept. You can build your patience with some work. Start by trying to view the situation through the lens of the other person. You could think, "Oh, maybe Mary doesn't understand what I'm saying because she doesn't have the same background in technology as I do. I could use less jargon in explaining it."
   
   • You can also ask questions and listen carefully. Start with, "Mary, I'd love to help you understand. What points are unclear?" Then listen to Mary's response and try a new approach.^[6]
8. Ask someone you trust for feedback. Sometimes it can be hard to be objective about yourself. If you’re serious about making some improvements, consider asking someone else to give you some feedback. Make sure to choose someone who can be honest and constructive at the same time.^[7]
   
   • Your best friend might be a good choice for this exercise. You could say, “Tom, I’m really looking for ways to be a stronger person. What do you think are some strengths and weaknesses of my character?”
   • Accept their feedback with gratitude, and take steps to implement some of the recommended changes.

[Edit]Practicing Empathy and Gratitude

1. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. If you can become more empathetic, you’ll be able to better understand other people. You can strengthen your character by being able to relate to others and helping them. Try to imagine what someone else is going through. For example, maybe your friend recently lost a sibling. Think about how that might feel and how you would react. Try to think about what you could do to make your friend feel better.^[8]
   
   • You can also take this further and actually experience what the other person is dealing with. For example, maybe your partner is frustrated because they do all of the cooking. Try taking over dinner duty for the week so that you can understand why they feel stress.
2. Challenge prejudices in yourself and others. Most people have assumptions or even prejudices against others. These might be conscious or unconscious. For example, maybe you think that people who haven’t graduated from college are not intelligent. Try to train your brain to be more open minded and accepting of others.^[9]
   
   • Take note of your prejudices. When you find yourself making assumptions, make a mental note. Being aware of bias is the first part in addressing it.
   • Next time you have these thoughts, work to actively change your mindset. Instead of thinking, “That person must not be smart,” think, “Wow, they managed to get a good job despite not have a college degree. That’s pretty impressive.”
3. Start a gratitude practice. Gratitude is an important part of character strength because it demonstrates an awareness of the people and things around you. You can develop gratitude by intentionally making it part of your everyday life. For example, you can end each day by thinking of 3 things that you are grateful for.^[10]
   
   • You can also try keeping a gratitude journal where you write down things that you are grateful for. You could make notes throughout the day or devote 10 minutes each evening to journaling.
   • You could write, “Today I was given an opportunity to volunteer at the animal shelter. I’m grateful that I was able to do something constructive on this Saturday morning.”
4. Express your gratitude towards others. You can also turn your gratitude outwards. Make it a point to say “thank you” every time someone does something for you. You can also make it a point to show appreciation for things that don’t directly affect you.^[11]
   
   • For example, you could say to a co-worker, “Thank you for landing that new client. An increase in business is good for all of us.”
   • You can make your comments specific. You could try, “I really appreciate that you brought me some chicken soup when I was sick. You’re really thoughtful.”

[Edit]Taking on Leadership Roles

1. Speak up if you are shy. You can build your character by taking on more responsibility. It will help expand your knowledge base and give you a new perspective. Begin by looking at how you communicate with others. If you are typically afraid to speak up, make an effort to let your voice be heard.^[12]
   
   • Maybe you are on the music committee at your church. If you feel strongly that a piece of music should be used in an upcoming service, speak up and make your point clearly.
   • At work, try to participate more in meetings. People will be responsive if you state your ideas clearly and confidently.
2. Let others speak first if you are typically vocal. You can also show leadership by showing restraint. If you are generally very talkative, try letting someone else be heard. Then you can think before you speak and thoughtfully respond.^[13]
   
   • If you generally set the agenda for the weekend, ask your partner if there are some specific things that they would like to do.
   • It’s great to actively participate in class discussions. But you’ll learn something by listening to others, too.
3. Be open to learning new things. Being open-minded allows you to gain new knowledge and perspective. Each time you learn something new, you are building on your knowledge base and becoming a stronger person. Don't just be open to learning new things, seek out opportunities to do so.
   
   • You could apply this at work. Say to your boss, “I’d love to learn more about the accounting side of our operation. Could I sit in on your meeting this afternoon?”^[14]
4. Make and pursue attainable goals. Setting clear goals can help you define your priorities. You'll become a stronger person as you work towards making your goals a reality. Choose something that you want to work on and make that your focus. You can do this in your personal life as well as at work or school.
   
   • For example, maybe you set a goal of learning to speak Spanish. Identify the best way to make that happen and get to work.
   • You could find a class to take at a community college or look for an online course. You could also purchase a product like Rosetta Stone.
   • Make a schedule for how you will spend your time. Track your progress.
   • Working towards clear goals can help you develop discipline, which is part of developing strength of character.
5. Ask for help when you need it. Some people consider asking for help a sign of weakness. Actually, it shows a strength of character by illustrating that you can identify and articulate your needs. Make your requests specific and clear.
   
   • Instead of saying to your partner, "I need more help around the house!" try, "It would be great if you could be in charge of the laundry and walking the dog from now on."
6. Highlight the strengths of others. Empowering others is a great way to raise everyone, including yourself. Good leaders know that building people up is better for you than trying to tear them down. Make sure that you are communicating with your team, and making everyone's contributions matter.^[15]
   
   • Point out people's strengths and help them build upon them. You could say, "You really have a talent for making presentations. Would you like to speak on behalf of the group?"
   • Focus on the success of the team instead of just yourself. Approach leadership as a "we" instead of a "me."
7. Face challenges head on. Instead of turning away from a problem, find a way to deal with it. You'll need to evaluate the situation objectively and avoid an emotional response. Then you can work on finding and implementing a solution.^[16]
   
   • For example, say you are managing a team at work and one of your key players resigns without notice. Instead of getting angry, focus on the situation. You'll probably need to redistribute the work. Call a team meeting, explain the situation, and ask for ideas. Then you can reassign the work and keep moving forward.

[Edit]Tips

• Determine specific parts of you character that you want to strengthen.
• Remember that your definition of strong does not have to be the same as someone else’s.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Lead With Your Strengths
• Use and Improve Your Abilities
• Build Character Through Integrity
• Develop Emotional Intelligence

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/compassion-matters/201506/5-ways-build-trust-and-honesty-in-your-relationship
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-is-your-true-north/201509/know-thyself-how-develop-self-awareness
3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/open-gently/201505/8-ways-boost-your-self-control
4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201504/7-signs-people-integrity
5. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/13/seven-reasons-why-risk-taking-leads-to-success_n_3749425.html
6. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/glennllopis/2013/06/03/5-powerful-ways-leaders-practice-patience/#2902b682421a
7. ↑ https://hbr.org/2005/01/how-to-play-to-your-strengths
8. ↑ https://bornthisway.foundation/character-day/
9. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
10. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/gratitude-practice.html
11. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/gratitude-practice.html
12. ↑ https://bornthisway.foundation/character-day/
13. ↑ https://bornthisway.foundation/character-day/
14. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidkwilliams/2013/01/07/the-5-secret-tricks-of-great-people-how-to-become-open-minded-in-2013/#2387b0273d4e
15. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaquast/2011/02/28/6-ways-to-empower-others-to-succeed/#307f375e5c62
16. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/254291

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How to Win at Connect 4

Build your strategic thinking skills by cracking this popular 2-person game

Connect 4 is a popular game with an unbeatable winning strategy. Learn that strategy and you'll win every game of Connect 4 you ever play—provided you make no mistakes. But nobody's perfect, and that's why people keep playing this deceptively challenging game. Read on to learn how to shock (or frustrate) your friends by becoming the master of Connect 4 strategy.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Make the first move to start the game on the attack and more easily control the board.
• Maximize your possibilities of getting 4 in a row by making most of your moves in the center of the board.
• Anticipate how your opponent will react to your moves so you can plan your strategy.
• Connect 3 checkers with an open space on both ends so your opponent can't block you.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Starting the Game

1. Put your checker in the center column if you're first. Your Connect 4 board has 7 columns, which means there's one exactly in the center. Because a checker in the center column allows you to make a Connect 4 in all possible directions, this is the best possible first move.^[1]
   
   • When you're playing a little kid or someone who's never played before, be nice and let them make the first move. You'll probably still win, but this gives them a bit of an edge.
2. Play your checker on top of your opponent's if you're second. The first player definitely has an advantage in Connect 4, but that doesn't mean you automatically lose if you're second. By putting your checker on top of your opponent's checker in the same column, you can guarantee at least a draw.
   
   • This strategy works best if your opponent drops their first checker in the center column. If they put it somewhere else, take the center column to gain the upper hand.
3. Focus on controlling the center column. Any horizontal or diagonal series of 4 checkers must include a checker in the center column. Put as many of your checkers as possible in the center column and you have a much greater chance of winning.^[2]
   
   • For example, if you put your first checker in the center column and your opponent puts their first checker on top of yours, put your second checker in the center column as well.
   • If you're the second player and you can't control the center column, gain control of one of the columns on either side of it and you'll guarantee at least a draw.
4. Play offensively rather than defensively whenever you can. Focus on making connections by placing your checkers close together in the center of the board. Block your opponent when you have to, but try not to get too caught up in defense.^[3]
   
   • As the second player, it's going to be tough for you to build much of an offense. But you still have a chance if the first player misses that key first move or makes some other mistake.
   • If you're having trouble building up much of an offense, you could also try distracting your opponent or making comments to try to get in their head and get them flustered so they make a mistake.

[Edit]Reading Your Opponent

1. Anticipate your opponent's reaction to any potential move. When you're contemplating where to put your checker, look at your opponent's checkers. If you put your checker where you're thinking, what will they do? How will that affect your options for your next move?^[4]
   
   • Because Connect 4 requires this sort of thinking, it helps build your strategy skills for more complicated games, such as chess.
   • This is one of the things that makes this a great game to play with little kids. If you're older and want to help them, talk them through their moves or ask them questions, such as, "What do you think I'm going to do if you put your checker there?"
2. Figure out your opponent's options after every move they make. Why did your opponent put their checker where they did? Were they blocking you or working on an offensive strategy? How does their move potentially help them? Asking these questions helps you get into your opponent's mind and understand their strategy.^[5]
   
   • For example, you might place your checker in the center column as the first move. Then, your opponent drops their checker directly on top of yours. This means they're trying to get as many checkers in the center column as possible.
   • It also helps to put yourself in your opponent's position. If their checkers were yours, what would your strategy be? What would you do to win the game?
3. Force your opponent to respond to 3-checker threats to take momentum. Any Connect 4 strategy requires multiple moves to build. Try to get 3 checkers in a row anywhere—even if they're not building up to anything else. They'll have to block you immediately, which will pull them out of offense mode. Then you have the opportunity to strike.^[6]
   
   • For example, you might drop a checker next to 2 you've already got to put 3 in a row horizontally. If it's cut off on one side, it's easy for your opponent to block you—but having to do that takes them away from their offensive strategy for at least one move.
4. Block your opponent's checkers when they have 2 in a row. Putting one of your checkers next to your opponent's series of 2 means now they can only make a series of 4 in one direction. If you cut them off, they can't get 3 in a row and potentially trap you.^[7]
   
   • For example, if your opponent has 2 checkers lined up on the bottom row, go ahead and drop a checker on either end to close off at least one of their opportunities to build a threat. Then, if they put a third checker on the other side, you can easily block it.

[Edit]Building Traps

1. Try to get 3 checkers in a row with open spaces on either end. This is pretty hard to do if you're playing against a good player. But if you can pull it off, you've won the game! Controlling the center column is really important for building these kinds of opportunities.^[8]
   
   • For example, if you drop a checker down one of the end columns, you're cutting off any opportunity to use this strategy. This is the main reason the end columns are the worst places to drop your checkers.
2. Force your opponent to put a checker under a game-winning space. As your game progresses, be on the lookout for a spot where both you and your opponent have a 3-checker line ending up at the same space. Whoever puts a checker in that space wins the game, which means you don't want to put a checker directly under it. But if you build up another threat that uses the space directly under the game-winning space, your opponent has no choice but to block you.^[9]
   
   • For example, you might build up a diagonal 3 that would use the space under the game-winning space to give you 4 in a row. Diagonals are great because they're really versatile and not as easy to see as horizontals or verticals.
3. Create a "7" with your checkers for an unbeatable Connect 4 strategy. This is a strategy that you have to play out over multiple moves—while also watching your opponent's moves and blocking them where you need to. It's not at all easy to get this in place, but once you do, you've essentially won.^[10]
   
   • So, for example, you might have 3 checkers going up in a diagonal, and then at the top of the diagonal, you have 3 checkers horizontally. That gives you a diagonal and horizontal threat.
   • With a 7 anywhere on the board (and turned in any direction), it's only a matter of time before your opponent is trapped in a situation where you have two game-winning spaces and they can only block one of them.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Take your time when placing tokens! You have complete, open information on the board. If you do make a mistake, don't verbalize it, as your opponent might not realize the pattern you're seeing.^[11]

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Play Connect 4
• Play Yahtzee
• Play Monopoly With Electronic Banking

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://web.mit.edu/sp.268/www/2010/connectFourSlides.pdf
2. ↑ https://web.mit.edu/sp.268/www/2010/connectFourSlides.pdf
3. ↑ https://web.mit.edu/sp.268/www/2010/connectFourSlides.pdf
4. ↑ https://www.gamesver.com/14-benefits-of-playing-connect-4-for-kids/
5. ↑ https://www.gamesver.com/14-benefits-of-playing-connect-4-for-kids/
6. ↑ https://web.mit.edu/sp.268/www/2010/connectFourSlides.pdf
7. ↑ https://web.mit.edu/sp.268/www/2010/connectFourSlides.pdf
8. ↑ https://web.mit.edu/sp.268/www/2010/connectFourSlides.pdf
9. ↑ https://web.mit.edu/sp.268/www/2010/connectFourSlides.pdf
10. ↑ https://youtu.be/lrHEgnLZSqw?t=20
11. ↑ [v162479_b01]. 2 February 2024.

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