be more attractive: How to Live in a State of Non Attachment

dimanche 28 décembre 2014

How to Live in a State of Non Attachment

Why should we live in a state of non attachment? There are plenty of reasons why living a life of non attachment is beneficial, and yet so often we are deterred by the notion, because we see people living the extreme example of this, and fear we might become the same. The great thing about living in non attachment is that even if you do end up giving up all your possessions and living off the land, it will be what your soul truly desires, so you're just getting out of your own way in the long run. Attachments come in all shapes and sizes, and can sneak their way into our lives. This article will offer suggestions to help you better identify these areas in yourself so that you can live the best life you can. If you've come to this article, then you've made a great step in helping to unfold your life in the best possible way.

Steps

Start small. The best way to practice this concept is by starting small, even at a minute level. Learn to let go of something that you don't hold a strong bond to first; then snowball from there. If you keep old clothes in your closets that you've never worn due to wrong sizes, or shoes with large holes in them that you'll never wear again you'll be familiar with clinging to things that don't enhance your life. Try taking some of those items and giving them to a charity or thrift store. Immediately, you'll feel how liberating non-attachment can be. This first step will get you into the practice of letting go; it's walking before running.

Observe your emotional attachments. The basis of attachment ultimately boils down to an emotional connection to things, places, ideas, and more. A great way to better understand these bonds is to find something you would hate to give away, and to imagine yourself letting go of it.
- At this stage it's important that you don't let go of it, but just observe what happens inside yourself, and what messages crop up. If you're attached to a favourite food that might cause health problems in the long run, just imagine yourself never eating that food again. What thoughts instantly arise? Are you feeling defensive? Don't guilt yourself or use the word should, just calmly watch your mind.

Trace your emotional attachments. Going along with the previous food example, can you trace any of these thoughts back as to why you're feeling defensive? Do you love the food because you hold nostalgic memories of the past in which the item played a role? This can be a tough stage, understanding why you've formed these bonds, but if you're gentle and patient with yourself, it can actually be fun. Sometimes you can trace your attachments to certain things that are based out of fearful thoughts, which no longer benefit you. In another example, if you're attached to a certain concept like, "If I'm not aggressive, then others will take advantage of me," you can find those traces link back to prior events in which you were hurt. This is where it's important that you are kind to yourself, because you only want to keep yourself safe, but maybe you can begin to let go.

Practice letting go. If in your head you're still looking at the previous example of being taken advantage of, then ask yourself what it would feel like if you let it go. Maybe you'll find that you imagine terrible things at first, such as people pushing you around if you're kind, or similar thoughts. Do not judge these thoughts, just understand them. When you are calm enough to allow them to be, start to pull examples of where these terrible events didn't take place in your past, meaning those occasions where you practiced being open and kind to others and they reciprocated that back to you.
- In this step, you don't have to let go of the connections, but allow your mind to bring you an unbiased list of examples. Even if you've never had a positive experience in the area you'd like to change, now is a great time to imagine wonderful things happening, to set the intentions into motion. The key here is to begin filling your mind with thoughts of positive changes that will come.

Work on acceptance. This is an important stage for you. Often when you feel that you don't have enough strength to let go of something, you may tend to beat yourself up for it; don't. Accept where you are and know that you'll only grow stronger. If you're not ready to call it quits with a toxic relationship, then practice the above steps until you can reach that positive moment of detaching. If you can't give away an old book you no longer need then accept that about yourself, when the time is right you'll be ready for anything you need to do. When you can accept that you can't follow through with something actively, then you allow yourself the time to prepare for it by visualising the moment, until it comes true. Imagine it through this analogy, if you want to be in Florida but currently live in California, then visualisation is exemplary of the gas you put in your car that will take you there. You won't make it to Florida on one tank, but if you continually fill up your car along the way, you'll eventually reach your destination and say, "I'm here, I've made it!'

Let go. When you let go of things, you free yourself in ways that will make you a better version of yourself. When you let go of that old book you no longer need, and give it to someone who will use it, you are not only giving but allowing new good things to come into your life. You discover that these old thoughts, beliefs, ideas, emotions, items, and more were only taking up space in your life, and keeping you from living at your best. If you can let go of the need to be right and can live from a standpoint of love, you've freed ourselves from the tyranny that you've created in your own life. Letting go is a great step in change and will help you immensely. Nothing defines you or dictates who you are, and when you can let go of the superficial constructs you place in attempt to define your life, you will begin to actually live.

Recognise the peace within. Letting go of anything in your life will show you that you are merely a spiritual being having a human experience. The jobs you have, the awards you get, the people you associate with, the "toys" you collect, and all else, never touched the true greatness you have within.