https://flavorsrecipes.blogspot.com/?m=1 be more attractive: How to Write Personal Goals

samedi 21 novembre 2015

How to Write Personal Goals

A goal is a way of mentally representing a specific, measurable accomplishment that you want to achieve through effort.[1][2] A goal may be based on a dream or hope, but unlike those, a goal is quantifiable. With a well-written goal, you will know what you want to achieve and how you will achieve it. Writing personal goals can be both incredibly rewarding and incredibly useful. Research has shown that setting goals makes you feel more confident and hopeful -- even if the goals aren’t immediately achieved.[3] As the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”[4] You can take that first step on your journey of achievement by setting realistic personal goals.

Steps

Formulating Effective Goals

  1. Think about what is meaningful to you. Research shows that when you base your goals on something that motivates you, you’re more likely to achieve it.[5] Identify areas of your life that you would like to change. At this stage, it’s okay for these areas to be fairly broad.[6]
    Write Personal Goals Step 1 Version 4.jpg
    • Common areas for goals include self-improvement, improving your relationships, or achieving some measure of success with an undertaking, such as work or education.[7] Other areas you could examine might include spirituality, finance, your community, and health.[8]
    • Consider asking yourself some big questions, such as “How do I want to grow?” or “What do I want to offer the world?” These can help you determine what is most valuable to you.[9]
    • For example, you might think about meaningful changes you’d like to see in health and personal relationships. Write those two areas down, as well as what changes you’d like to see.
    • It’s okay if your changes are broad at this point. For example, for health you might write “improve fitness” or “eat healthy.” For personal relationships, you might write “spend more time with family” or “meet new people.” For self-improvement, you might write “learn to cook.”
  2. Identify your “best possible self.” Research suggests that identifying your “best possible self” can help you feel more positive and happy about your life. It can also help you in thinking about what goals really are meaningful to you.[10] Finding your “best possible self” requires two steps: visualizing yourself in the future, having achieved your goals, and considering the characteristics you will need to get you to that place.[11]
    Write Personal Goals Step 2 Version 4.jpg
    • Imagine a time in the future where you are your best version of yourself. What would that look like? What would be most meaningful to you? (It’s important to focus on what’s meaningful to you, rather than on what you may feel pressured to achieve by others.)
    • Imagine the details of this future self. Think positively. You can imagine something that is a “life dream,” a milestone accomplishment, or other big achievement. For example, if your best possible self is a baker with her own successful cake bakery, imagine what that looks like. Where is it? What does it look like? How many employees do you have? What type of employer are you? How much do you work?
    • Write down the details of this visualization. Imagine what characteristics your “best possible self” is using to achieve his/her success. For example, if you are running your own bakery, you need to know how to bake, manage money, network with people, problem-solve, be creative, and determine the demand for baked goods. Write down as many characteristics and skills as you can think of.
    • Think about which of these characteristics you already have. Be honest with yourself, not judgmental. Then, think about which characteristics you can develop.
    • Imagine ways for you to build these characteristics and skills. For example, if you want to own a bakery but don’t know anything about running a small business, taking some classes in business or money management would be a way to develop that skill.
  3. Prioritize these areas. Once you've gotten down a list of areas in which you’d like to see change, you'll need to prioritize them. Trying to focus on improving everything all at once could end up feeling overwhelming, and you’re far less likely to pursue your goals if you feel that they can’t be achieved.[12]
    Write Personal Goals Step 3 Version 3.jpg
    • Split your goals up into three sections: Overall goals, second tier, and third tier. The overall is the most important goals, the ones that come to you most naturally. The second and third have important goals, but they aren't as important to you as the overall goals and they tend to be more specific.
    • For example: in overall you might have "prioritize health (most important), improve family relationships (most important), take a trip abroad," and in the second tier "be a good friend, keep house clean, climb Mt. McKinley" and in the third tier "learn to knit, become more efficient at work, exercise everyday."
  4. Start narrowing down. Once you’ve found the areas you want to change and what changes you’d generally like to see, you can begin distinguishing the specifics of what you want to accomplish. These specifics will be the basis for your goals. Asking yourself some questions will answer the who, what, when, where, how, and why of your achievement.
    Write Personal Goals Step 4 Version 3.jpg
    • Research suggests that setting a specific goal not only makes you more likely to achieve it, it makes you more likely to feel happier overall.[13]
  5. Determine the Who. It’s important when setting goals to know who is responsible for achieving each part of the goal. Since these are personal goals, you will probably be the most responsible. However, some goals -- such as “spend more time with family” -- require others’ cooperation, so it’s a good idea to identify who will be responsible for what parts.
    Write Personal Goals Step 5 Version 3.jpg
    • For example, “learn to cook” would be a personal goal that probably involve only you. However, if your goal is “throw a dinner party,” that requires responsibility from others, too.
  6. Determine the What. This question helps determine the goal, details, and the results you wish to see. For example, “learn to cook” is too broad to be manageable; it lacks focus. Think about the details of what you really want to accomplish. “Learn to cook an Italian dinner for my friends” is more specific. “Learn to cook chicken parmigiana for my friends” is more specific still.
    Write Personal Goals Step 6 Version 3.jpg
    • The more detailed you make this element, the clearer the steps will be that you need to take to accomplish.
  7. Determine the When. One key to setting goals is breaking them up into stages. Knowing when specific parts of your plan must be achieved helps you keep on track, and allows you a sense of progress.[14]
    Write Personal Goals Step 7 Version 3.jpg
    • Keep your stages realistic. “Lose ten pounds” is unlikely to happen in a matter of weeks. Think about how much time it will realistically take you to achieve each stage of your plan.
    • For example, “Learn to cook chicken parmigiana for my friends by tomorrow” is probably unrealistic. This goal could cause you a lot of stress because you’re trying to achieve something without giving yourself enough time to learn (and make the inevitable mistakes).
    • “Learn to cook chicken parmigiana for my friends by the end of the month” gives you enough time to practice and learn. However, you still need to break this down into further stages to increase your likelihood of success.
    • For example, this goal breaks the process down into manageable stages: “Learn to cook chicken parmigiana for my friends by the end of the month. Find recipes by the end of this week. Practice at least three recipes one time each. When I find one I like, I’ll practice it again before I invite my friends over.”
  8. Determine the Where. It can be helpful in many cases to identify a certain place where you will work on achieving your goal. For example, if your goal is to exercise 3 times a week, you would want to determine whether you will go to a gym, exercise at home, or go running in a park.
    Write Personal Goals Step 8 Version 3.jpg
    • In our example, you could decide to start at a cooking class, or you could decide to do the whole process in your kitchen.
  9. Determine the How. This step encourages you to envision how you will achieve each stage of the goal process. This clearly defines the goal’s framework, and gives you a good sense of what actions you will need to take at each stage.
    Write Personal Goals Step 9.jpg
    • For the chicken parmigiana example, you would need to find a recipe, obtain the ingredients, get the necessary tools, and make time to practice the dish.
  10. Determine the Why. As mentioned earlier, you’re more likely to achieve your goal if you find it meaningful and are motivated to work toward it. This question will help you clarify what your motivation is to reach this goal. What will achieving this goal do for you?
    Write Personal Goals Step 10.jpg
    • In our example, you might want to learn to cook chicken parmigiana for your friends so that you can invite them over to share a special meal with them. Doing this will allow you to bond with your friends and show them how much you care about them.
    • It’s important to keep this “why” in mind as you work toward achieving your goals. Setting incredibly concrete, specific goals is helpful, but you also need to keep the “big picture” in mind.[15]
  11. Word your goals positively. Research shows that you’re more likely to achieve your goals when they are framed as positive. In other words, frame your goals as something you are working toward, not something you want to move away from.[16]
    Write Personal Goals Step 11.jpg
    • For example, if one of your goals is to eat more healthy foods, an unhelpful way to word this might be “Stop eating junk food.” This way of wording makes it seem like you are being deprived of something, and humans don’t like that feeling.
    • Instead, try wording the goal as something you’re gaining or learning: “Eat at least 3 servings of fruits and vegetables every day.”
  12. Make sure that your goals are performance-based. Achieving your goals requires hard work and motivation, but you also need to ensure that you’re setting goals that your work will make you likely to attain. You can only control your own actions, not their outcomes (or others’ actions).[17]
    Write Personal Goals Step 12.jpg
    • Keeping your goals focused on what actions you can take, rather than on specific outcomes, will also help you if and when you experience setbacks. By conceiving of success as a process of performance, you will be able to feel as though you’re accomplishing your goals even when you don’t necessarily get the outcome you’d hoped for.
    • For example, “Become President of the United States” is a goal that relies on the outcome of others’ actions (in this case, voters). You cannot control these actions, and thus, this goal is problematic. However, “Run for elected office” is achievable, because it relies on your own motivation and work. Even if you don’t win the election you ran for, you can view your accomplishment as a success.

Developing a Plan

  1. Define your objectives. Objectives are the actions or tactics that you use to achieve your goal.[18] Further breaking down objectives into concrete tasks make it even easier for you to accomplish them and monitor your progress. Use the answers to the questions you asked yourself earlier -- what, where, when, etc. -- to help you identify your objectives.
    Write Personal Goals Step 13.jpg
    • For example, consider this goal statement: “I want to go to college and ultimately law school so that I can help the underrepresented members of my community navigate the laws of civil court.” This is a specific goal, but it’s still very complex. You will need to define many objectives in order to achieve this goal.
    • Examples of potential objectives for this goal could be:
      • Excel in high school classes
      • Participate in debate team
      • Identify undergraduate institutions
      • Apply to undergraduate institutions
  2. Determine your time frame. Some goals are more quickly achievable than others. For example, “Go walking in the park for 1 hour 3 days every week” is something you can start doing immediately. For some goals, you will have to spread your stages across longer periods of time.[19]
    Write Personal Goals Step 14.jpg
    • In the example of the law school goal, this goal will take several years to accomplish. It requires many stages in the process, each of which can be marked by an objective and tasks within that objective.
    • Be sure to take external deadlines and other conditions into consideration. For example, the objective “Identify undergraduate institutions” must be performed before you can attend college. It will take some time, and many institutions have application deadlines. Thus, you need to make sure that you determine the time frame for this objective appropriately.
  3. Break objectives into tasks. Once you’ve determined your objectives and your time frame, split the objectives into smaller, concrete tasks. These will be actions you can take toward accomplishing the objective. Set a deadline for each task so that you have a way of keeping yourself on track.[20]
    Write Personal Goals Step 15.jpg
    • For example, for the first objective in the law school goal, “Excel in high school classes,” you can split this up into several concrete, specific tasks. Possible tasks could include “Enroll in classes such as government and history” and “Attend study groups with my classmates.”
    • Some of these tasks will have deadlines set by others, such as “Enroll in classes.” For those tasks without inherent deadlines, make sure to set your own so that you keep yourself accountable.
  4. Break tasks into duties. By now, you’re probably noticing a trend: these things keep getting smaller and smaller. There’s good reason for this. Research has consistently shown that specific goals are more likely to lead to good performance, even when they’re difficult. This is because it can be difficult to perform at your best if you’re not sure what you’re aiming to accomplish.
    Write Personal Goals Step 16.jpg
    • Taking the task “Enroll in classes such as government and history,” you could split it up into duties. Each duty will have its own deadline. For example, possible duties for this task could include “Review the schedule of available classes,” “Schedule an appointment with my school counselor,” and “Make a final enrollment decision by [date].”
  5. List specific things you’re already doing. For many goals, you may already be performing some of the behaviors or actions you need to achieve it. For example, if your ultimate goal is to attend law school, reading about the law in various news stories is something productive that you’ll probably want to keep doing.[21]
    Write Personal Goals Step 17.jpg
    • Be specific with this list as well. You may even find that you’ve already accomplished certain duties or tasks and hadn’t even realized it. This is helpful in giving you a sense of progress.
  6. Identify what you need to learn and develop. In the case of many goals, you may not have all of the skills or habits you need to attain them yet. Think about what characteristics, skills, and habits you already have -- the “Best Possible Self” exercise can help you here -- and match them with your objectives.
    Write Personal Goals Step 18.jpg
    • If you find a spot that needs developing, set it as its own new objective. Follow the same breakdown process.
    • For example, if you want to be a lawyer, you will need to be comfortable speaking in front of others and interacting with people. If you’re very shy, you will need to develop your people skills in various ways in order to promote your ability to achieve your ultimate goal.
  7. Make a plan for today. One of the more common ways people end up not attaining their goals is thinking that tomorrow is when you start working toward them. Even if it’s something very small, think of something that you can do today to start on one of the components of this plan. This will jump-start your sense of progress, because you’ve taken immediate action.[22]
    Write Personal Goals Step 19.jpg
    • The action you take today can be preparing to undertake other duties or tasks. For example, you may find that you need to gather some information before you can make that appointment with your guidance counselor. Or, if your goal is to go walking 3 times a week, you may need to buy some comfortable, supportive walking shoes. Even the smallest accomplishment will fuel your motivation to continue.
  8. Identify obstacles. Nobody really enjoys thinking about the obstacles to success, but it’s vital that you identify potential obstacles when you’re developing your plan. Doing so will help prepare you for when things don’t go to according to plan.[23] Identify potential obstacles and actions you may take to overcome them.
    Write Personal Goals Step 20.jpg
    • Obstacles could be external, such as the lack of money or time to accomplish your objectives. For example, if you want to set up your own bakery, a significant obstacle would be finding the financing to register your corporation, lease a building, buy equipment, etc.
    • Actions you can take to overcome this obstacle could include learning how to write a business plan to attract investors, talking with friends and family about investment, or starting smaller (such as baking in your own kitchen at first).
    • Obstacles can also be internal. A lack of information is a common obstacle. You may encounter this at any stage in your goal process. For example, with the bakery ownership goal, you may find that the market wants a type of baked good that you don’t know how to bake.[24]
    • Actions you could take to overcome this obstacle could be to find other bakers who knows how to make these goods, take a class, or teach yourself through trial and error.
    • Fear is one of the most common internal obstacles. The fear of not meeting your goal can keep you from taking productive action to attain it.[25] The section on fighting your fears will teach you some techniques to help you with this.[26]

Fighting Your Fears

  1. Use visualization. Research has shown that visualization can have significant effects on improving your performance. Athletes often talk about this technique as the reason behind their success.[27] There are two forms of visualization, outcome visualization and process visualization, and to have the highest likelihood of success you should combine them.[28]
    Write Personal Goals Step 21.jpg
    • Outcome visualization is where you imagine yourself achieving your goal. As with the “Best Possible Self” exercise, this imagined visualization should be as specific and detailed as possible. Use all of your senses to create this mental image: imagine who is there with you, what it smells like, what sounds you hear, what you’re wearing, where you are. You may find making a vision board is helpful in this process.
    • Process visualization is where you imagine the steps you need to take in order to achieve your goal. Think about each action you have taken. For example, if your goal is to become a lawyer, use outcome visualization to imagine yourself passing your bar exam. Then, use process visualization to imagine all the things you did to ensure this success.
    • This process is known as “encoding prospective memories” by psychologists. This process can help you feel as though your tasks are possible to accomplish, and can also help you feel as though you’ve already met with some success.[29]
  2. Use positive thinking. Studies have shown that positive thinking is more effective at helping people learn, adapt, and change than focusing on flaws or mistakes.[30] It doesn’t even matter what your goals are; positive thinking is just as effective for top-level athletes as it is for graduate students or artists or business managers.[31]
    Write Personal Goals Step 22.jpg
    • Studies have even shown that positive and negative feedback affect different areas of the brain. Positive thinking stimulates areas of the brain associated with visual processing, imagination, “big-picture” thinking, empathy, and motivation.[32]
    • For example, remind yourself that your goals are positive growth experiences, not things you are giving up or leaving behind.
    • If you find yourself having a hard time with your goals, ask friends and family for encouragement.
    • Positive thinking alone isn’t enough. You need to keep up with your list of objectives, tasks, and duties and take actions that will promote your ultimate attainment of your goal. Relying only on positive thinking will not get you very far.[33]
  3. Recognize “false hope syndrome.” This is a term that psychologists use to describe a cycle that’s probably familiar to you if you’ve ever set a New Year’s resolution. This cycle has three parts: 1) setting the goal, 2) being surprised by how hard it is to achieve that goal, 3) abandoning the goal.[34]
    Write Personal Goals Step 23.jpg
    • This cycle can happen when you expect immediate results (which is often the case with New Year’s resolutions). Setting up your objectives and determining your timeframe will help combat this unrealistic expectation.
    • It can also happen when the initial excitement rush of setting the goal wears off, and you’re left with the real work. Setting objectives and then breaking them down into smaller components can help you keep momentum. Each time you achieve even the smallest duty, celebrate your success.
  4. Use setbacks as learning experiences. Studies show that people who learn from setbacks are more likely to have a positive outlook on the possibility of achieving their goals. Being hopeful is a vital component of succeeding with your goals, and hope looks forward, not back.[35]
    Write Personal Goals Step 24.jpg
    • Research has also demonstrated that people who succeed don’t have any more or fewer setbacks than people who give up. The difference is how some people choose to envision those setbacks.[36]
  5. Challenge perfectionistic tendencies. Perfectionism often stems from a fear of vulnerability; we may desire to "be perfect" so that we don't experience loss or fear or "failure." However, perfectionism cannot keep you from these natural human experiences. It holds you and others to impossible standards.[37] Many studies have shown a strong relationship between perfectionism and unhappiness.[38]
    Write Personal Goals Step 25.jpg
    • "Perfectionism" is commonly confused with "striving for success." However, many studies show that perfectionists may actually experience less success than people who do not attempt to meet this unrealistic standard.[39] Perfectionism can cause intense anxiety, fear, and procrastination.[40]
    • Instead of striving for the unattainable idea of perfection, embrace the vulnerability that comes with striving for true excellence. For example, inventor Myshkin Ingawale wanted to invent technology that would test for anemia in pregnant women in order to bring down maternal death rates in India. He often tells the story of how the first 32 times he tried to create this technology, he failed. Because he was not allowing perfectionism to dominate his attitude, he kept trying new tactics, and the 33rd invention worked.[41]
    • Developing self-compassion can help combat perfectionism.[42] Remind yourself that you are human, and that all humans experience setbacks and obstacles. Be kind to yourself when you experience these obstacles.[43]
  6. Practice gratitude. Research shows a consistent relationship between the active practice of gratitude and success in achieving goals.[44] Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the easiest and most effective ways to practice gratitude in your daily life.[45][46]
    Write Personal Goals Step 26.jpg
    • Your gratitude journal doesn’t have to be a novel. Even writing a sentence or two about an experience or person you’re grateful for will have the desired effect.
    • Believe it will work. Cheesy though it may sound, gratitude journaling is more successful if you consciously tell yourself that it will help you become more happy and grateful.[47] Leave the skepticism at the door.
    • Savor specific moments, no matter how small. Don’t hurry through the process of journaling. Instead, take your time and really think about what experiences or moments mean to you and why you’re grateful for them.
    • Write once or twice per week. Studies show that daily journaling is actually less effective than journaling only a few times per week. This may be because we quickly become desensitized to positivity.[48]

Tips

  • You can extend or shorten goal deadlines if you feel you might not make a goal. However, if it's taking too long or not taking enough time to complete a goal, consider reevaluating the goal you set; it might be too difficult to achieve at the time, or too easy.
  • Writing personal goals can be a rewarding experience, but so can achieving your goals. Once you achieve a goal, reward yourself! Nothing provides more motivation for you to move on to the next goal on your list.

Warnings

  • Avoid setting so many goals that you start to feel overwhelmed and then do not accomplish anything.
  • It's really easy to write personal goals and never actually achieve them (think New Year's resolutions). You have to stay motivated and focused on the end result so that you actually end up achieving them.

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations


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