Anger: we all feel it sometimes, whether it's a flash of irritation or a period of boiling rage. On its own, it can be a perfectly valid, healthy, and understandable feeling—but it’s less than ideal if red-hot anger is becoming your default reaction to most events and situations. In other words, anger is normal but it’s your reaction to your anger that is key. How are you supposed to tell if your anger is just an occasional flare-up versus a serious issue, though?
While only a licensed mental health professional can gauge if you have anger issues or not, it’s super easy (and important!) to keep tabs on how you’re thinking and feeling. Hit “Start Quiz” to do a quick check-in with yourself, and to learn how you can start feeling your best.
[Edit]Questions Overview
- I’m totally cool! I’m sure they’ll be done soon.
- It’s a little annoying, but it’s not the end of the world.
- I can’t lie—I’m pretty frustrated.
- I’m so done. Hurry it up, will you?!
- “Don’t worry about it! I hope everything is okay.”
- “You should’ve kept me in the loop. Whatever, we’ll figure it out.”
- “Seriously?! Ugh. You’re talking to the boss, not me.”
- “Are you serious? I can’t believe you’d screw me over like this.”
- I don’t really care. The ride will be over soon, anyway.
- I’m pretty annoyed, but I’ll forget about it soon enough.
- I’m getting irritated. Maybe he’ll get the message if I recline my seat.
- I’m ready to turn around and give his parents a piece of my mind.
- None—it’s extremely rare for me to feel angry.
- Maybe once or twice, but not super frequently.
- About once a day.
- I feel angry multiple times throughout the day.
- Slightly annoyed, but it’s no big deal.
- I’m definitely frustrated, but I’ll get over it.
- I’ll probably give them the silent treatment for the next day.
- I’m furious. I’m ready to let them have it.
- I feel angry occasionally, but it doesn’t impact my life.
- I get angry sometimes, but I try to have it under control.
- I feel angry frequently enough that it interferes with my life.
- I get angry all the time—it’s how I react to most things.
- I don’t react—it’s not worth my time or energy.
- I say a choice word under my breath, but I try not to dwell on it.
- I honk my horn at them. What the heck was that?!
- I roll down my window and scream at them, even if they can’t hear me.
- Head out the door. There’s always another donut shop!
- Return to my car and seethe for a couple minutes.
- Give him the dirtiest look I can possibly muster.
- Go off on the man for being so selfish.
- Absolutely. I can’t remember the last time I was truly mad about something.
- Kind of. I get mad sometimes, but not that much.
- Not really. I get angry more often than I’d like to admit.
- Not at all. I can’t deny that I have a really short fuse.
- I don’t confront them at all. They’re not worth my time.
- I make an underhanded remark the next time we cross paths.
- I leave their texts unanswered for the next few days. That’ll show them!
- I get in their face the next time I see them.
- Ambivalent. Flying always seems to take a long time.
- Annoyed, but I’ll live. Four-hour Netflix marathon, anyone?
- Very frustrated. What am I supposed to do now?
- Furious. I really, really want to kick something.
- Absolutely! They know they can tell me anything.
- For the most part, yeah. There aren’t too many issues.
- It depends. Sometimes it feels like they gloss over certain details.
- Nope. It feels like they’re walking on eggshells around me.
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[Edit]Anger Issues: A Closer Look
What is anger?
Anger is a normal and valid emotional response that everyone experiences from time to time. In fact, anger can be a healthy response to hurtful, upsetting, or even life-threatening situations. A lot of people feel angry occasionally, but not to an extent that disrupts their day-to-day routines, careers, or relationships.
Types of Anger
- External anger: Anger displayed in a physical and/or verbal way, like yelling, tossing items around, making threats, slamming doors, and/or hurting others.
- Internal anger: Anger directed towards the self, displayed in actions like self-harm, self-starvation, and negative thoughts.
- Non-violent anger: Anger displayed in a subtle or passive-aggressive way, like giving someone the cold shoulder, making snarky/sarcastic comments, or purposefully inconveniencing others.
What are anger issues?
Anger issues occur when anger seriously impacts your everyday life. A person with anger issues feels angry frequently, to a point where their friends, loved ones, and co-workers notice. Their rage seems to supersede any other reactions they might have, to a point where it’s affecting their health overall (e.g., headaches, high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, etc.).
Do I have anger issues?
You might have anger issues if your anger frequently impacts your daily life. Think about how you normally behave and react on a day-to-day basis. Does anger heavily influence the way you treat other people, as well as yourself? Are you capable of reacting and responding to different situations with a variety of emotions, or does anger always seem to be front and center? If you can’t seem to break free of anger’s control over your life, you could have anger issues.
Anger Management Tips
- Breathe deeply when you get upset. Focus on inhaling slowly through your nose and then exhaling slowly as well. Continue breathing in and out slowly—this helps force you to calm down instead of lashing out in the moment.
- Count up to a number before doing/saying something impulsive. It’s really easy to do or say something that you regret in the heat of the moment. Before you leap into action, count to 10, 20, or any other larger number in your head. This gives you a chance to ground yourself and think things through.
- Picture something peaceful or relaxing. Where do you feel the most calm and at ease? Whenever you feel angry, picture yourself in that place to give yourself the opportunity to calm down.
- Head to the sink and splash yourself with cold water. It won’t feel comfortable, but a quick blast of cold water might help you reset your brain and think things through in a more calm and rational light.
- Approach situations with a sense of humor. While humor isn’t the best response for everything, it can be really helpful to plow through life’s frustrations and inconveniences. The next time you’re feeling especially exasperated or irritated, see if cracking a joke or lightening the mood can help make a difference.
- Identify and avoid situations that trigger your anger. What types of events tend to set you off the most? Avoiding these situations or approaching them in a new way can be a valuable way to help you manage your anger effectively.
- Eliminate negative thought patterns. Certain ways of thinking, such as viewing situations in absolutes, jumping to conclusions, and pointing fingers may feed into your more angry instincts. Identifying and changing these thought patterns may help you approach different scenarios with a more balanced mindset—you can learn more about changing your negative thoughts here.
- Practice self-care. The more you care for your mental and physical health, the easier it’ll be to cope with angry moments and situations. Getting 7-9 hours of sleep each night, destressing with mindfulness meditation, trying progressive muscle relaxation, opening up to a friend, and getting regular exercise are all valuable ways to keep your mind and body in a healthy place.
- Sign up for anger management classes. Conquering anger on your own can be a stressful and overwhelming experience—but it’s not one you have to deal with alone! Find an anger management class near you, where you’ll receive special training on how to deal with tough anger flare-ups.
- See a licensed mental health professional. Dealing with anger frequently can be an exhausting experience—but it’s not something you have to handle on your own. A therapist can help you dig deeper into why you’re feeling angry, and help you develop strategies to better cope with your feelings.
[Edit]Want to learn more?
Ready to level up your anger management skills? Here are a few resources to help you get started:
- https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm
- https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434
- https://mhanational.org/10-healthy-ways-release-rage
- https://www.thehotline.org/resources/how-to-cool-off-when-youre-angry/
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[Edit]References
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