New Year's Eve is a time of partying, celebrating accomplishments made in the soon-to-be-gone year, and for making toasts and resolutions for the upcoming three hundred sixty-five (or six!) days; however, New Year's Eve can also be a difficult time for many people, bringing about feelings of sadness, loneliness, or regret. A few simple tips can help you make the most out of your New Year's Eve and look toward the year ahead.
EditGetting Through the Night
- Celebrate with close friends or loved ones. Surround yourself with the people who know you the best and the people that want the best for you, especially if you have individuals in your life who know you struggle with depression or low moods.[1] They'll be able to be sensitive to how you are feeling and may even know a way or two to try and lift your mood. You might find that the happiness will find its way to you through celebration with the right people.
- Choose to spend the evening with a few friends, or family members, somewhere you feel safe and comfortable.
- If family or close friends don't live near you (if you're traveling or living away from home, etc.), go out with some local friends or pick the friend that you are closest to and spend the celebration with him.
- Have a party! Even if you are not “feeling” the holiday spirit, start celebrating anyway! Go to a previously planned party at a friend's house, or gather some people and count down the final moments of the year (with some snacks and good music) in your own home. Participating in something social has been shown to help decrease feelings of isolation, anxiety, and stigma.[2] You may find that the decorating, the atmosphere and the environment, or possibly just participating in doing something are enough to brighten your mood.
- Take your mind off it. If you feel the down mood will be with you no matter what you are doing, then try doing something to actively distract yourself from your negative thoughts.[3] Focusing too much on the negative can actually make your mood worse, so instead, try and set yourself up to be distracted by an activity and the spirit of New Year's Eve being the start of something new.
- Make a New Year's Eve craft or project.
- Research a future vacation, a topic of interest, or learn something new.
- Reorganize your room or apartment.
- Pamper yourself. If the idea of a quiet night in brings you peace and happiness, then do just that. Spend the evening pampering yourself, and taking part in what is appropriately called “self-care.”[4] Self-care is extremely important in combatting feelings of depression, as the symptoms of changes in appetite, sleep, and lethargy directly affect your ability to care for yourself. Do whatever makes you feel refreshed, beautiful, and ready to start the year anew![5]
- Have a luxurious bath with candles, champagne, and music.
- Give yourself an at-home manicure, pedicure, or facial mask.
- Relax and get a restful night of sleep.
- Make healthy choices. It can be pretty easy to begin making unhealthy decisions when you are feeling depressed or down. Poor decision making and a lack of intuition have been linked to many symptoms of depression and the effects of depression on emotional and physical health.[6][7]
- Eat foods that boost your mood and fight off depression.[8]
- Fruits with Vitamin C, like blueberries, grapefruit, or kiwi.[9]
- Food rich in Vitamin E, like nuts and seeds.[10]
- Omega-3 fatty acids, like salmon, flaxseed oil, and nuts.[11]
- Proteins like turkey, tuna, or chicken.[12]
- Avoid drinking too much. If feeling down or depressed has you tempted to make unhealthy decisions regarding alcohol (or other drugs), fight it and try to make a concerted effort to stay healthy. There is a very strong relationship between alcohol use and depression regardless of which issue comes first, so be aware of the slippery slope which can occur when these two interact.[13] Often drinking will only worsen your down moods in the short-term and create a larger problem in the long-term.
- If you are not sure of your ability to limit your alcohol use, then it may be better to avoid drinking alcohol altogether. You will be happy you did later on.
- If you do decide to drink, try limiting your drinks, or drinking a full glass of water after every glass of alcohol to pace yourself. Make sure you are not drinking on an empty stomach and eat during the evening.
- Get moving. Working out is another great way to combat symptoms of depression. If you are not particularly a “work out” person, any kind of movement will do! Have a private dance party to your favorite music or take a walk outside.
- Movement will help increase levels of serotonin in your brain and endorphins in your body, causing mind and body feelings of happiness and well-being.[14]
- It will also help burn all those pesky post-holiday calories from Thanksgiving or other winter holidays you celebrate.
- You will have the satisfied feeling of doing something good for yourself and your body to start off the new year right.
EditReframing the Past
- Reflect. Take time to figure out what has you feeling the way you do. Being able to reflect on why you're feeling down or what specifically has you feeling depressed, will help you discover ways in which you can improve for the coming year and will help you move on.[15]
- Try not to focus too much on the disappointments. If they come up during your reflection its okay to sit with them for a short time and then refocus your attention on more positive reflections.
- Reflect on the past year month by month, being certain to reflect on one good thing that had happened in that month.
- Review your year by life area, taking time to focus on family life, professional life, romantic life, physical life, spiritual life, and financial life. Identify at least one thing you are proud of from that area of your life.
- Ask yourself a series of positive questions such as, “What new things did I find out about myself?” or “What was the best news I received?”[16]
- Recognize the symptoms of depression. Depression is more than just a temporary “down mood.” Know the symptoms and as you are reflecting on your past or how you are feeling, be honest with yourself about where you stand.[17] You do not need to experience all of the following symptoms or you may experience some atypical ones not listed here.[18]
- Persistent sad mood, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, or pessimism.
- Difficulty sleeping, early-morning waking, or oversleeping.
- Changes in appetite or weight, more hungry or less hungry than usual or loss or gain of weight.
- Activity level changes such as a loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities you once loved.
- Physical symptoms such as chronic pain or lack of energy.[19]
- Family history of depression.
- Learn from the past. Learn from what has happened and then try to leave it there. If you were unhappy with your previous year, take this as an opportunity to learn from the mistakes made and put solutions to action in the upcoming year. [20] If there were no mistakes made, but rather a bad year because terrible things happened, reflect on what you have learned about your own resilience and ability to cope with the worst.[21]
- View any difficulties as challenges. It is often difficult to not get weighed down by bad things when they happen to you, or by circumstances in your life. The most successful people view these things as challenges or as circumstances they have survived or overcome.[22] Think about what you have accomplished and overcome in the past year, changing any feelings of failure into a form of helpful feedback.
- Choose to see the good. Actively focusing on good will set you up to retrain your brain to focus more on the positive on a more regular basis.[23] The power of positive thinking has truth to it and, much like any skill, you have to practice it to become good at it.[24] The benefits include decreased cortisol (known as the "stress hormone") and increased serotonin in your brain, which creates feelings of well-being and helps support brain growth.[25]
- Try listing ten things you are grateful for from the past year. This may be the great vacation you took with your family, discovering a new band or author you love, accomplishing a goal, making a new friend, or learning something new about yourself.
- Practice mindfulness. Being mindful means slowing down and allowing yourself to fully experience and savor the moment.[26] Watching fireworks? Really allow yourself to appreciate the color and the spectacle — don't strategize about how you're going to navigate your way home later or wonder if anyone liked your social media post about your New Year's resolution or anything else. Just enjoy the beauty of that moment.
- Work on reframing. Sometimes, changing a negative thought to a positive one is just a matter of looking at it from a different angle. If you find yourself stressing out about the big crowds, worrying about traffic and how late you're going to get home, try reframing by thinking something like, "It's really great that so many people are coming together to celebrate tonight. If traffic gets too crazy and it gets really late, my friend said I can just crash with her tonight and we can make breakfast in the morning."
EditCelebrating Your Present
- Know that you are not alone. New Year's Eve (the holiday season in general) is regarded by many to be a holiday that sparks depressive feelings. [27] With a year ending and the popularity of resolutions, the pressure to evaluate your life is high. This holiday unfortunately also falls during the time of seasonal depression in areas with winter climates.[28] Know that there are others out there who feel the same way that you do about this holiday and that maybe you can find someone who feels similarly and spend the night discussing it with a kindred spirit.
- Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for not completing resolutions from the previous year. There are no rules when you are taking control of your life. If you are unhappy about the circumstances in your life, forgive yourself and allow yourself time to get there.[29]
- Pay attention to the thoughts you are having, especially those about yourself. Are they kind thoughts or unkind?
- Counter each unkind thought with a kind thought about your self or your life. Be patient, this may take some time.
- Pamper yourself. Kickstart the new year with a solid nights sleep, a long bath, or a massage as a good way to take care of yourself.
- Start a new New Year's Eve tradition. It may be fun and helpful to add a sense of ritual and tradition to the occasion. It can provide you with a moment to think back over the coming year and it presents a turning point at which you choose to move forward.[30] Additionally, you'll get a boost in self-efficacy knowing that you are being active in changing your experience. Choose where, when, and what type of new tradition would have meaning for you. Some ideas include:
- Write down anything that you feel negative about over the past year. After writing them down, get rid of them; toss them in the trash, tear them up, or burn them.
- If you want to do resolutions, write this coming year's down and bless them in some way. Place them somewhere prominently to remind you of what's to come rather than what has been.
- Create a New Year's jar. Take a jar and, throughout the year, anytime something good or happy happens write it down and put it in the jar. Then on New Year's Eve, read through them to remind yourself of the great year you had.
- Light lanterns and set them afloat as a way of sending your hopes or wishes out into the world.
- Make it about you. For your own happiness and comfort spend the night doing what you want to do, not what others want you to.[31] If the thought of spending the night at a party, surrounded by others, or drinking gets you feeling down, then choose to do something else. Nothing is better than starting the new year with something that makes you happy, so whip up your best meal, listen to your favorite song, or watch a great movie. Look to do what makes you feel happier and indulge yourself.
- Make sure, however, that you are being honest with yourself. If your habits are to isolate yourself from others and stay in bed all day, notice that these are powerful symptoms of depression and while they feel like you want to do them, they are not the healthiest choice for you. Maybe stay in, but ask a family member or a friend to stay with you as well.
EditPlanning for a Better Future
- Make a positive change. With all the perspective taking you've done, if there are changes you want to make, now is a great time to make them! Once you're aware of what has been making you unhappy, you're better positioned to make a positive change.[32] Try not to think of these as resolutions, make them more than that and think them through.
- Close your eyes and try and envision what you want your life to look like in the coming year. Use this to help you establish goals.
- Go back to your reflections and if you reflected by month, write a goal for each month. If you reflected by areas in your life (such as family, career, etc.), list a change or a goal for each area.
- Start with something small. It is tempting at this time of year to make grand statements and promise big changes; however, it is not very realistic and by doing so you risk setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. It can be difficult to make changes at all if you are feeling depressed, so remember: this is not the only time where you can make changes in your life.[33] [34] Start now, start small, and set S.M.A.R.T goals for yourself.[35] SMART goals are defined as the following:
- Specific. Make sure the goal is specific to increase your ability to know when you meet it. Ask yourself the 5 “W” questions; who, what, where, when, and why.
- Measurable. Set up a concrete measurement of what it will look like when you meet the goal. To help ask yourself questions like: How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished?
- Attainable. When you are making your goals attainable, think of ways you can reach those goals. Consider your skills, abilities, time, emotional, and financial capacity to reach them.
- Realistic. Make sure your goals are ones that you are willing and able to work towards.
- Timely. Ground your goal within a time frame or a time table. Ask yourself: When do I want this completed? How often will I work towards this or check in on my progress?
- Know your patterns. Take the time to start noticing patterns for how you are feeling. Are you usually more depressed before New Year's Eve or after? Is it a feeling that lasts all holiday season? Use this to help you determine what you might be struggling with. Look carefully at what relaxed you in the past that worked and take note of it. Set yourself up with a self-care plan for times when you see a difficult patch coming. Learn and grow from it.
- Seek professional help. If you know you have depression or if you feel like nothing is working to help lift your mood, seek professional help.[36] Depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder are common and completely treatable conditions. Treatment for depression can include therapy, medication, or lifestyle changes. Here are some places you can look to for help:
- Mental health specialists.
- Your general practitioner or primary care doctor.
- Health insurance company.
- Community mental health centers.
- Through your employer.
- Local hospital.
- Religious leaders with training in mental health care.
- Nearby university or medical school-affiliated mental health clinics.
- Consider whether or not you want to make resolutions very carefully. Don't set yourself up to fail. If you make them, make them realistic, and be gentle to yourself when trying to reach them.
- Remember: Keep a positive mental attitude, don't let the little things get to you, and make the new year something worth remembering. Life is too short for regrets–make the most of it!
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