How to Deal With Emotionally Abusive Parents

Not all abuse results in bumps and bruises. Verbal abuse is much more common than physical abuse, but it can also scar you just as much, if not worse, than physical abuse. Emotional abuse can have long-term negative effects on your social, emotional, and physical health and development. If your parents emotionally abuse you, the most effective thing you can do is set boundaries for yourself and maintain distance, if possible. It can also help to confide in others about the difficult situation you are in. Learning stress management skills and building up your self-esteem can also help you cope both immediately and in the long run.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Identifying Emotional Abuse

1. Learn how recognizing abuse can help you. When your parents are emotionally abusing you, it can be hard to separate the feelings that the abuse causes from the abuse itself. For example, if you don’t realize your parents are abusing you, you may start to feel bad about yourself because you’re taking their abusive words or actions to heart.^[1] Remind yourself that once you learn to identify abusive behaviors, you can start to:
   
   • Recognize that what is happening is not your fault.
   • Put more appropriate emotional distance between yourself and your abusive parents.
   • Take control of your own reactions to the situation.
   • Understand why your parents behave the way they do and recognize that this behavior comes from them, not from you.
   • Get the help that you need to cope with the abuse and start to feel better.
2. Notice your parent humiliating you or putting you down. The abuser might try to pass it off as a joke, but this type of abuse is no laughing matter. If your parent frequently makes fun of you, belittles you in front of other people, or dismisses your ideas or concerns, you are in an emotionally abusive situation. There is a thin line between discipline, teasing and abuse.^[2]
   
   • For example, if your dad says, "You're such a loser. I swear, you can't do anything right," this is verbal abuse.
   • Your parent may do this in isolation or in front of others, causing you to feel bad about yourself.
3. Determine whether you often feel controlled by your parent. If your parent tries to control every little thing you do, gets angry when you make your own decisions, or dismisses your abilities and autonomy, then you may be in an abusive situation.^[3]
   
   • People who engage in this type of abuse often treat their victims like inferiors who are incapable of making good choices or taking responsibility for themselves.
   • Your parent may try to make decisions for you. For instance, your mom might visit your high school and ask your guidance counselor about a college you didn't want to apply to.
   • Your parent may feel strongly that they are just "parenting," but this is abusive.
4. Ask yourself if your parents accuse you or blame you for things often. Some abusers have unrealistically high expectations of their victims, but refuse to admit any wrongdoing themselves. People who engage in this kind of abuse may find ways to blame you for anything and everything, even things no reasonable person would criticize you for. They may tell you that you’re the cause of their problems so they can avoid taking responsibility for themselves and their feelings. They also hold you personally responsible for their emotions.^[4]
   
   • For instance, if your mother blames you for being born because she had to abandon her singing career, she is blaming you for something that wasn't your fault.
   • If your parents say their marriage fell apart "because of the kids," that's blaming you for their inability to cope.
   • Blaming someone for things they didn't do is an abusive technique.
5. Consider whether you frequently get the silent treatment. Parents who pull away from their children and don’t provide them with the emotional closeness they need are engaging in a form of child abuse.^[5]
   
   • Does your parent ignore you when you’ve done something to upset them, show little interest in your activities and emotions, or try to play it off as your fault when they distance themselves from you?
   • Love and affection aren't things you should have to bargain for. This is abusive.
6. Think about whether your parent seems to have your best interests at heart. Some parents, especially those with egocentric tendencies, may see you as only an extension of themselves. It’s impossible for parents like this to want what is best for you, even if they themselves believe they have your best interests at heart.
   
   • Some signs of egocentric parenting include disrespecting your boundaries, trying to manipulate you into doing what they believe is “best,” and getting upset when you don’t live up to their unrealistic expectations for you.^[6]
   • They are also often very uncomfortable with you having attention and will try to make everything about themselves.
   • For example, your single parent may guilt-trip you by saying, "Well, I know you had a party to go to with your friends, but I'm so lonely here. You are always leaving me." This guilt-trip is a form of abuse.
7. Recognize normal parenting behavior. Kids and teens make mistakes sometimes; it's a part of growing up and being human. During times when you need guidance, support, or discipline, it's your parent's job to step in. It's important to be able to distinguish between natural disciplining and abusive behavior.
   
   • In general, you can tell whether a parenting style is disciplining versus abuse from the level of anger exhibited by your parent. It's common for your parent to get angry or frustrated in the moment when you do something that breaks the rules.
   • However, when anger is driving the behavior or punishment, your parent is in the danger zone of abuse. Abuse involves words or actions that are done recklessly, knowingly, and with the intent to harm.^[7]
   • Although you may not like strict disciplining, understand that parents enforce guidelines and set consequences to protect you and steer you towards positive development.
   • Don't use profanity. Even if your parents use cuss words at you, it's best to not copy it.
   • You can try taking a look at some of your peers who have good relationships with their parents. What are those relationships like? What kind of support and discipline do they receive from their parents?
8. Know the risk factors for abuse. Emotional abuse can occur in any family. However, there are a few factors that increase the risk of emotional or physical child abuse. You may be at greater risk of being abused if your parents abuse alcohol or drugs, have untreated mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder or depression, or were abused as children themselves.^[8]
   
   • Many abusive parents don’t even realize their actions are hurtful. They may not know a better style of parenting, or they may not realize that taking out their emotions on their child is abusive.
   • Even if your parent has good intentions, they can still be abusive.

[Edit]Seeking Help

1. Share your experiences with friends and loved ones. It can be comforting to have someone to lean on during an abusive situation. Confide in your loved one and ask them for support. They may offer positive words, validate your feelings, or have advice for you.^[9]
   
   • For instance, you might say, "I know this may come as a shock to you, but my home life is pretty bad. My mom talks down to me and tells me I won't be anything when I'm older. It's mainly words, but it makes me feel bad about myself."
   • Keep in mind that emotional abuse often involves people brainwashing you into believing that no one will care, believe you, or take you seriously. However, you will likely be surprised by how much support you receive when you share with other people.
2. Confide in a trusted adult. If you’re a kid dealing with any kind of abuse at home, turn to a relative, teacher, church leader, or another adult you trust. Don’t let your abusive parent intimidate you into keeping secrets. An adult can help intervene in a situation where a kid might not have any power.^[10]
   
   • You might feel awkward or embarrassed about telling an adult what’s going on, but it’s very important to let other people know if you’re being abused. Start by saying something like, “I’ve been having some problems at home lately. Can I talk to you about it?” Or, you could write about how you are feeling and give them a note if that feels more comfortable to you.
   • If you told a teacher or a coach and they did not help, schedule a meeting with your school counselor (if your school has one) and alert this person.^[11]
   • If you don’t want to tell someone about the abuse in person, you can call a help line at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. This help line is free, confidential, and open 24 hours a day.
3. Seek mental health treatment. Emotional abuse can do a lot of damage. Without treatment, you are at an increased risk of low self-esteem and you may have difficulty forming healthy relationships. It can be difficult to break the negative beliefs and thought patterns created by emotional abuse, but a counselor or therapist can help make the process easier.^[12]
   
   • Look for a therapist who specializes in children or adults who are suffering abuse. During therapy you will share about your experiences as you become comfortable with the therapist. The therapist will ask questions and offer insights to help guide your sessions.
   • If you are a kid, find out if your school offers counseling services, or ask a trusted teacher or administrator to help you connect with a counselor. If you’re able to talk to a school counselor, you could say, "There have been problems at my house. My dad doesn't actually hit me, but he calls me names and puts me down in front of other family members. Can you please help me?"
   • If you are an adult, check to see what your health insurance will cover.
   • Many therapists accept out-of-pocket payments on a sliding scale.

[Edit]Getting Distance

1. Refuse to engage with verbal abuse. Don't stick around when they start abusing you. You are under no obligation to stay, call, visit, or otherwise expose yourself to abuse. Don't let your parents guilt you into thinking you need to take their bad treatment. You can stay around your siblings or friends. If you have older siblings, try to ask them for help, or even a younger sibling if they are mature and smart. Set boundaries and stick to them.
   
   • If you live away from home, stop coming over or calling if they abuse you.
   • If you live with them, retreat to your room or go to a friend's house if they are yelling at you or insulting you.
   • Set limits if you do stay in touch. Say, "I will call you once a week, but I will hang up if you say cruel things to me."
   • Keep in mind that you do not need to get involved in an argument if you do not want to. You don’t have to respond to what they say or try to defend yourself in any way.
2. Achieve financial independence. If you have the choice, don't live with an emotionally abusive parent, and don't give them any power over you. Abusers often try to maintain control by creating dependence. Earn your own money, make your own friends, and live on your own. Don't depend on abusive parents for anything.
   
   • Get an education if you can. You might look into how you can apply for federal student loans without your parents. This usually requires some type of documentation from a mental health professional stating that your parents were abusive.
   • Move out as soon as you are financially able.
   • If you can't afford to get through college without living with or relying on abusive parents financially, make sure to take care of yourself and draw boundaries.
3. Consider cutting ties. You may feel obligated to fulfill a notion of duty to your parents. However, if your parents have abused you, you might find it triggering to care for them when they have been emotionally abusive, especially if the abusive behavior has continued. Consider cutting ties if your relationship is more painful than it is loving.^[13]
   
   • You don't owe a debt of care to those who have abused you. You may struggle with feelings of guilt if you have to cut ties, but remember that you made this difficult choice for a good reason.
   • If community members do not understand why you have cut ties with your parents, you don't owe an explanation.
   • If you decide to become your parents’ caregiver at some point, focus your discussions only on their care. If they become verbally abusive or insulting, then leave right away to make it clear that you will not tolerate this type of behavior.
4. Protect your children if you have any. Do not put your kids through the same abuse that you were put through. If your parents say inappropriately critical or insulting things to your children, intervene. Either end the conversation or cut off visits.
   
   • You can end the conversation by saying, "We don't talk to Eli that way. If you have an issue with the way he eats, you can talk to me about it." Although most adult conversations should be conducted in private, it is important for your children to see and hear you protect them in the case of abuse.
   • Your children will likely have a happier childhood if they are not subjected to abuse by their grandparents.
   • Protecting your children also means not following your parents' example. There are plenty of positive parenting examples in the media and (hopefully) your coparent's family.

[Edit]Caring for Yourself

1. Dodge your abuser's triggers. You probably already recognize the “triggers” (things said or done) that really set your parents off. If you recognize them, it may be easier for you to either avoid them or get out of the way in time to dodge abuse. One way to do this is to talk with a friend or journal about it so that you can identify contributing factors to their abuse.
   
   • For instance, if your mother always yells at you when she has been drinking, try to get out of the house as soon as you see her with a bottle.
   • If your father tries to diminish your accomplishments when you've achieved something, refrain from telling him about your successes. Instead, tell people who support you.
2. Find safe places in your house. Find areas (such as your bedroom) that act as safe havens. Find another place to hang, get stuff done, and spend your time, such as a library or a friend's house. Not only can you get support from your friends at this time, but you're also away from your parents' accusations and scorn.
   
   • Although it is smart to protect yourself from the abuse, you also need to recognize that it's not your fault if you do get caught in it. No matter what you say or do, it is no excuse for a parent to abuse you emotionally.
3. Create a safety plan. Just because the abuse is not physical does mean it can't escalate. Develop a plan to keep yourself safe in case your parent's abuse turns physical and you think that your life is at risk.
   
   • A safety plan involves having a place to go that is secure, having someone to call for help, and knowing how to take legal action against your parent if it comes to that. You might sit down with another adult, like your school counselor, and put together a plan that helps you feel prepared in case of a crisis.^[14]
   • A safety plan may also involve keeping your cell phone charged and nearby at all times and your car keys on you.
4. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. Healthy self-esteem is the best antidote for emotional abuse. Unfortunately, people who have been emotionally abused often have a negative view of themselves, and they also often find themselves in relationships with emotionally abusive people. To fight low self-esteem, spend time around friends, non-abusive family members, and other people who build you up instead of tearing you down.^[15]
   
   • You can also build your self-esteem by participating in activities that you are good at. Take part in a sport or youth group at school or in your community. This will serve double-duty by making you feel better about yourself and getting you out of the house more.
5. Set personal boundaries with your parents. It’s your right to set boundaries in your relationships. If you feel safe doing so, sit down with your emotionally abusive parent and tell them which behaviors you’re comfortable with and which you’re not.^[16]
   
   • When you explain your boundaries, decide what the consequences will be if your parent ignores them. Certain kinds of abusers may not respect your personal limits. If this happens to you, don’t feel guilty about following through with your consequences.^[17] It is important to follow through with your consequences because making empty threats will only make you seem less credible to the abuser.
   • For example, you might say, “Mom, if you come home drunk and start bullying me again, I will go and live with Grandma. I want to stay with you, but your behavior frightens me.”
6. Learn stress management skills. No doubt about it – emotional abuse can generate a lot of stress, and sometimes it can cause long-term problems like PTSD and depression. Develop an arsenal to help you manage this stress with positive activities.^[18]
   
   • Healthy stress management habits like meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can help you feel calmer and more collected on a day-to-day basis. If your symptoms are severe, seeing a therapist can be a good way to learn how to manage your stress and other emotions.^[19]
7. Define and focus on your positive traits. No matter what an emotionally abusive parent might have told you, you are a worthwhile person with good qualities. Don't listen to their insults and ridicule. You may have to think on this for a while, but it’s important for you to build up your self-esteem and pour love into yourself—especially if you are not getting this from a parent.^[20]
   
   • Consider what you like about yourself–are you a good listener? Generous? Intelligent? Focus on the things you like about yourself, and remind yourself that you are worthy of love, respect, and care.
   • Be sure to engage in activities you are passionate about and/or good at to help boost your self-esteem and confidence.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Show Your Parents You Love Them
• Be Friends with Your Parents
• Deal With Mean Parents
• Deal With an Abusive Teacher
• Forgive an Abusive Parent

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/family-abuse.html
2. ↑ https://kidshelpphone.ca/get-info/family-abuse-what-it-is-and-how-to-identify-it/
3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2016/12/7-types-of-parental-abuse#1
4. ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-home/Pages/What-to-Know-about-Child-Abuse.aspx
5. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/the-silent-treatment
6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent
7. ↑ http://www.pa-fsa.org/Parents-Caregivers/Preventing-Child-Abuse-Neglect/Discipline-Parenting-Styles-and-Abuse
8. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect.htm
9. ↑ http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/get-help/how-to-help-a-friend/
10. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/kids/handle-abuse.html
11. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/kids/handle-abuse.html#
12. ↑ https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/mentlhlth.pdf
13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202008/5-signs-its-time-cut-yourself-your-toxic-family
14. ↑ http://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety/
15. ↑ https://www.domesticshelters.org/domestic-violence-articles-information/rebuilding-your-self-esteem-after-abuse#.V_4iYBZrjIU
16. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/202201/healthy-boundaries-adult-children-toxic-parents
17. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201808/12-clues-relationship-parent-is-toxic
18. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/about/copingwith-stresstips.html
19. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23800893
20. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image

source How to of the Day https://ift.tt/tDzAv5I

How to Reduce Unwanted Facial Hair

There are many ways you can remove or reduce unwanted facial hair. Many people struggle with this issue, especially due to hormonal changes. However, there are many remedies available for you, from natural ones you can do at home to more complicated procedures best done in a salon.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Drink 2 cups of spearmint tea daily. Spearmint tea lowers testosterone, which can reduce facial hair growth.
• Talk to a dermatologist about using a hair growth inhibitor cream. These creams can be applied to the face to reduce hair growth.
• Laser hair removal on your face can permanently destroy unwanted hair follicles.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Finding a Natural Remedy

1. Use a gelatin peel. You can make a gelatin face mask at home to remove unwanted facial hair. All you need is a tablespoon of unflavored gelatin, 2 to 3 tablespoons of milk, 3 to 4 drops of lime juice or 1 to 2 drops of lavender essential oil.
   
   • Mix the products together, then microwave them for about 15 seconds. Apply the mixture to your face, and let it sit for a few minutes. Then, peel it off.
   • Make sure you don't get the mixture near your eyebrows or eyes. When you peel the mask off, you should find that unwanted facial hair (and blackheads) come off with it.
2. Make a lemon/orange or apricot/honey scrub. Fruit-based scrubs can help you remove unwanted facial hair without the harshness of chemical products.
   
   • For the lemon/orange peel scrub, mix together 1 teaspoon each of powdered orange and lemon peel, ground almond, and oatmeal. Add 2 teaspoons of olive oil and 1 teaspoon of rose water. Mixing these items should create a paste. Put the paste on your face for about 5-8 minutes. Rub the paste into your skin with small circular movements. Then rinse your face with water. You will need to do this 2-3 times a week to see results.
   • For the apricot scrub, grind half a cup of dried apricots in a blender until it's a powder. Then add 1 teaspoon of honey. Apply to face for 5-10 minutes. Rub into skin with small circular movements, and then rinse with lukewarm water. You also need to use this scrub 2-3 times a week to see any difference.
3. Make a paste with Turmeric. Turmeric has been used for a long time in India to improve the look of the skin. You can make a homemade paste out of it. ^[1]
   
   • All you need is 1 to 2 teaspoons of Turmeric, and milk or water. Mix them into a paste. Put it on your face for 15 to 20 minutes. Let it dry. Then, wash it off with warm water.
   • This paste will work best for people with fine facial hair. If the hair is denser, you could add oatmeal to the paste.
4. Try an egg mask. Another natural remedy for removing facial hair can be made with eggs. You need 1 egg white, 1 tablespoon of sugar, and 1/2 tablespoon of cornflour.
   
   • Beat them together until it turns into a paste. Apply the paste to your face, and let it dry. It will turn into a thin mask.
   • Pull the mask off firmly, and you should see the hair come off with it.

[Edit]Preventing Facial Hair Growth

1. Drink spearmint tea. Spearmint tea affects the amount of male hormone in your body, so if you drink it enough, you might see less facial hair growth.
   
   • Studies published in scientific journals like Phytotherapy Research have found that women who drank spearmint tea reduced the amount of testosterone (male hormone) flowing through their blood streams. This reduction in testosterone led to less unwanted hair growth.
   • Consume 2 cups of spearmint teas for a minimum of 5 days per week. ^[2]
2. Although there's not much evidence of long-lasting effect, make a drink out of black cohosh herb. This herb slows down facial hair growth. In addition to turning it into tea, you can find it in capsule form. With any natural herbs, it's a good idea to check with your doctor first.
   
   • To make the tea, you need 20 grams of dry black cohosh root, 4 1/4 cups of water, and a teaspoon of honey. Boil the water and root, and then let it simmer for 30 minutes. Strain it.
   • Put the honey into the concoction. Drink three times a day. You will need to refrigerate the liquid. Higher dosages of the tea can cause side effects, and it shouldn't be used if you have liver disease or cancer, so it's best to see a doctor before you try this regimen.
3. Use a hair growth inhibitor. Visit your dermatologist to get a prescription for a hair inhibitor. Hair inhibitors are plant-based products that change the structure of hair follicles so that the hair grows thin and soft and eventually it does not grow at all.
   
   • Apply the cream to the areas of your face where you want to reduce hair growth. The cream will remain on your skin. Follow the instructions that accompany the product to determine frequency of use.
   • Hair growth inhibitors can be used in conjunction with other hair reduction methods such as threading, waxing and tweezing.
   • Results may take 4 to 6 months. It costs about $100 for a supply that will last you two months. ^[3]

[Edit]Using Chemicals to Remove Hair

1. Try waxing. You could either use an at home waxing kit or get the facial hair waxed away in a salon. Waxing removes hair from the root, so it's an effective way to get a smooth face. It irritates some people's skin, though. ^[4]
   
   • Warm wax should be applied to the desired area using the applicator that comes with the kit and then allowed to cool. Use your fingers to pull the cold wax off of your skin in the opposite direction of the hair growth. Regular waxing can reduce regrowth because this technique interrupts the development of hair follicles.
   • If your skin is sensitive to wax, you could try sugaring, which is a natural method similar to waxing. Add 2 cups of granulated sugar and 1/4 cup lemon juice to 1/4 cup water. Boil until it turns into a paste. It needs to simmer about 25 minutes and turn amber brown. Let it cool. Dust your skin with corn starch or baby powder. Apply the mixture in the opposite direction of hair growth. Put a rag on it, and then pull it off.
2. Use depilatories. Depilatories are chemical products that remove unwanted facial hair from the surface of the skin. The chemicals dissolve the hair into a gel-like substance.
   
   • Apply the depilatory to the skin. Leave the product on the skin based on the timing instructions that come with the product. Once the product has been on the skin for the required length of time, wipe it off of your skin with a clean cloth.
   • Hair regrows a few days after using a depilatory. Depilatories can be purchased across the counter. One problem with depilatories is that they have a strong chemical smell.
3. Try bleaching. Bleaching doesn't remove unwanted facial hair. However, it can make it harder to see. The trick is making sure the product matches your skin tone. ^[5]
   
   • If you have heavy hair growth, this is not a good solution for you. Bleaching regularly can irritate the skin. So you should test it out on a small patch of the skin before using it more heavily.
   • If you do bleach, stay out of the sun for at least an hour. If you don't, the skin could have a bad reaction.

[Edit]Removing Hair Physically

1. Use tweezers to reduce facial hair. This is one of the most common ways people remove facial hair. It works best when you don't have that much hair to remove. One or two dark hairs on the chin? Tweezing is the best way to go.
   
   • Sterilize the ends of the tweezers with rubbing alcohol before and after plucking to avoid infection. Stretch the skin gently around the area that you want to pluck. Grip the hair near the root, and then firmly pull the hair.
   • Plucking facial hair is inexpensive, but time consuming. It can also be painful and lead to ingrown hairs if the hair breaks off underneath the skin. You can avoid ingrown hairs by pulling the hair gently as opposed to yanking it out with the tweezers.
   • Hair regrowth after plucking can occur in 3 to 8 weeks.
2. Try a disposable or reusable razor for use in wet shaving. Disposable razors will give you a closer shave than an electric shaver, especially if you have a thick beard.^[6]Apply a shaving gel or foam to the chin or upper lip. Glide the razor across the skin in the direction that the hair grows.
   
   • You can also use an electric razor for wet or dry shaving. Be careful or you could cause small cuts. It can be hard to use a razor on some areas of the face, like the chin.
   • Hair regrowth after shaving is fast, though. Hair can return in anywhere from a few hours to a few days. ^[7]
3. Try threading. Threading is becoming an increasingly common way to remove facial hair. It's often used to shape the eyebrows, but people who do threading can also remove your facial hair with the procedure.
   
   • The cosmetologist will twist a cotton thread around the hairs on the desired area and then pull them out in rows.
   • One benefit of threading is that, unlike waxing, it doesn't inflame sensitive skin. The hair will grow back in a couple of weeks.
   • Some salons now offer threading. Look in the phone book or ask your favorite salon.
4. Use lasers. Laser hair treatments are very useful for getting rid of that unwanted hair.^[8] The laser gives off beams of heat and light to the roots of the hair and stops the hair from growing after a period of time.
   
   • To get the end result it will take 9 or more months but is much more worth it. It is more expensive at first, but in the end you save money. One of the downsides to laser hair treatment is that it can be very painful. A plus side is that it can permanently remove the hair.
   • You will probably need to go for repeated treatments to fully destroy the hair. Laser hair treatment works best on people with light skin and dark hair.
   • The face is a sensitive part of the body. It is more prone to infection.^[9]
   • So it is better to use laser hair removal instead of epilating facial hair.^[10]
5. Try electrolysis. Electrolysis should be done in the salon. This is a tedious process that is best for small areas of hair removal, such as above the lip.
   
   • Electrolysis is done with a small needle. An electric current is delivered into each hair root, one-by-one, permanently destroying the hair.
   • White or blonde hair can be removed with electrolysis, unlike laser treatment, which works better with darker hair and light skin. You will need to go for the treatments until the hair is destroyed.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Warnings

• Test depilatories on a small area of your skin before applying it to larger areas to check for skin irritation. Depilatories also have a strong chemical odor; can burn the skin; and cause peeling, blisters and allergic reactions.
• Shaving can lead to ingrown hairs. It can also result in cuts to the skin. Use a shaving lotion or gel to reduce irritation.
• It can't be stressed enough: See a doctor if you think you have a hormonal imbalance.
• Waxing can be painful and may cause irritation and/or bleeding. Follow the directions provided with the home waxing kit you choose very carefully.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Pluck Facial Hair

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ http://www.rapidhomeremedies.com/remedies-for-unwanted-hair-removal.html
2. ↑ https://www.thehealthsite.com/beauty/6-effective-hair-removal-methods-to-get-rid-of-unwanted-facial-hair-143055/
3. ↑ http://www.prevention.com/beauty/skin-care/4-ways-remove-unwanted-facial-hair
4. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/01/facial-hair-removal_n_944886.html
5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vU1-w7GS2c
6. ↑ Rivas, Marlon. Personal interview. 17 January 2020.
7. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/beauty/hair-removal/for-women-only-best-choices-for-hair-removal
8. ↑ [v161045_b01]. 12 June 2019.
9. ↑ [v161045_b01]. 12 June 2019.
10. ↑ [v161045_b01]. 12 June 2019.

source How to of the Day https://ift.tt/AtPWMGw

How to Be a Better Person

Life can be a whirlwind of responsibilities and stress, but with the right focus, you can start becoming a better person and who you want to be. In this article, we’ll help you learn how to be a better person in a number of different ways. From honoring yourself to doing small acts of kindness, there’s something you can do each and every day to better yourself and grow as an individual. Keep reading to learn how you can embark on your self-improvement journey.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Keep a gratitude journal to be more positive and compassionate.
• Take care of your mental and physical health to brighten your mood and be happier.
• Find healthier outlets for anger, like exercising and doing yoga, to redirect negative emotions.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Set goals for yourself.

1. Positive, obtainable aspirations can give you something to thrive for. Everyone needs something to live for, so think about what you want in life. Not only can striving for something make you a happier and better person, but it can also help you find your purpose. Use a pen and paper and write down the short and long-term goals you would like to achieve.^[1] Try asking yourself these questions to find and set an achievable goal:^[2]
   
   • Is there a relationship in your life you want to improve?
   • What causes or movements are you passionate about?
   • Is there a project you’ve been meaning to finish?
   • What do you like to do in your free time?
   • Making your goal to “be a better” person may be challenging to define and achieve. Instead, opt for small goals that can help you grow as an individual, like reading a nonfiction book, writing a short story, calling your mom every weekend, or helping someone in need every day.

[Edit]Practice forgiveness.

1. Forgiving yourself and others can help you improve relationships. On your journey to becoming a better person, it’s important to let go of any grudges you're holding. The past is in the past; it’s time to move forward. Allow yourself time to forgive your past mistakes and recognize what they’ve taught you. Then, forgive those who have hurt you. You may not be able to forget what they’ve done, and that’s okay, but forgiveness can give you peace of mind.^[3]
   
   • Dwelling on past wrongs can actually increase your blood pressure and heart rate, while forgiveness can help manage and lower stress.

[Edit]Be empathetic towards others.

1. Imagining what someone’s been through can give you a new perspective. Empathy is one of the first steps to being a better person because it builds your compassion. Not only does cultivating empathy help you be more sensitive toward other people, but it also helps you form lasting relationships and feel less isolated. Being empathic helps you gain a friend while challenging your perspective. Here are some ways you can be more empathic:^[4]
   
   • Avoid making assumptions about people and jumping to conclusions.
   • Imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes or situation.
   • Actively listen to express interest and help someone feel heard.

[Edit]Give back to your community.

1. Helping others doesn’t only benefit them; it benefits you too! Research shows that being altruistic (the act of promoting someone else’s welfare) improves mood and overall happiness. So, consider volunteering at a local shelter, donating used clothes, or picking up trash at the park. Even the smallest act can make the biggest difference.^[5]
   
   • Aim to practice at least one act of kindness every day. It doesn’t have to be something big or time-consuming. Even leaving a sticky note on a public bathroom mirror saying, “You’re beautiful inside and out!” can make someone’s day.
   • When you help others, you get a rush of endorphins that make you feel good. This is known as the “helper’s high.”

[Edit]Go outside your comfort zone.

1. Expose yourself to new experiences to grow as an individual. Comfort zones are great, but they can also be stagnant. Every once and a while, change up your daily schedule, try something new, and step outside your comfort zone. Trying new things that make you a little uncomfortable can broaden your horizons and open your eyes to a different perspective.^[6]
   
   • Make a bucket list of things you can do outside of your comfort zone. Then, spend every other weekend checking an activity off the list.
   • Ask friends to join you on your adventures for double the fun.
   • Experiment with a different routine by going to a different coffee shop for lunch or taking an alternative route to work.
   • Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself. The impossible can be obtainable if you put your best foot forward.

[Edit]Learn something new.

1. One of the best ways to better yourself is to educate yourself. Knowledge can go a long way, especially when it comes to understanding other people’s situations. Whether you're in school or not, self-educating can help you grow and evolve as an individual. The more you know, the more perspective you’ll gain.^[7] Here are some ways you can learn something new today:
   
   • Sign up for a class you're interested in online or at a library. Maybe that’s an art class or a course on American Literature.
   • Read a nonfiction book.
   • Listen to a podcast about a topic you want to learn more about, like business, money, culture, or mental health.

[Edit]Acknowledge your weaknesses.

1. Everyone has flaws, but you can aim to improve yours. Notice how your behavior and attitude affect others. Are people generally happy or sad around you? Do friends come to you for help or advice? Answering these questions and analyzing your interactions can help you discover and strengthen your weaknesses.^[8]
   
   • For instance, if friends don’t usually come to you for advice, ask yourself why. Do you talk over them or criticize their decisions? Maybe you need to work on being a better listener.
   • The more you learn to be flexible and adaptable with your behavior, the better you can care for yourself and those around you.

[Edit]Control your anger.

1. Feeling angry is natural, but too much anger can hinder compassion. When you want to be a better person, it’s important to understand the whys and hows of someone else’s situation. Things may not work out how they’re supposed to, but that's okay. Take a deep breath and remember that you may not be able to control many things, but you can control your attitude.^[9]
   
   • Try redirecting your anger away from yourself and others by going on a walk, doing yoga, or punching a pillow.
   • Calm yourself down by taking deep belly breaths and visualizing a relaxing or joyful memory.
   • Reconstruct your thinking patterns by avoiding words like “never” or “always” to describe yourself or others.

[Edit]Express your feelings respectfully.

1. Using “I” statements can help you thoughtfully articulate emotions. Life is full of complex and confusing emotions, and with those emotions comes conflict. You may not be able to control every situation you’re in, but you can control your reactions. “I” statements can be used in conflicts or emotionally tense situations to communicate feelings without pointing blame. Check out these ways you can change these phrases into “I” statements:^[10]
   
   • “You never listen to me anymore,” changes to, “I feel that my concerns aren’t being heard.”
   • “I hate when you shout at the kids,” changes to, “When you shout at the kids, I feel upset because I want the kids to feel respected.”
   • “You’re always grounding me. It’s not fair!” changes to, “I feel like you’re always grounding me, and it upsets me.”

[Edit]Be grateful.

1. Practicing gratitude every day can help you be more positive. Gratitude is more than a feeling; it’s an active practice. Being thankful and appreciative of your life, no matter where you are in it, helps you be compassionate and loving towards yourself and others. Take a moment to recognize that goodness can be outside yourself and that every smile or simple favor is a gift.^[11] Here are some more ways you can cultivate gratitude in your life:
   
   • Keep a gratitude journal or make a gratitude list to highlight all the things you're thankful for each day, big or small.^[12]
   • Savor surprises by appreciating the thought that was put into them.
   • Share what you’re thankful for with others. For instance, if your brother helped you move your couch, let him know how much you appreciate his help.^[13]

[Edit]Be patient.

1. Things don’t always happen the way you’d like them to, and that’s okay! Rather than getting upset when things don’t go your way, take a deep breath and remember to have patience. It’s alright if life is slower. Try savoring these slow moments by noticing the little things and acknowledging the positives in the situation.^[14]
   
   • For instance, maybe you ordered a pizza for family game night, but the deliverer is stuck in traffic. Instead of getting frustrated, recognize that the extra time waiting for your pizza has given you more time to pick out a game. Plus, you’ll probably get a discounted pizza.
   • Another example could be that your computer starts updating the moment you want to work. Rather than getting upset, use the extra minutes of downtime to play with your dog, take a walk, or do some tidying up.

[Edit]Be yourself.

1. The best way to be a better person is to simply be 100% you! You are unique, special, and one-of-a-kind. Accepting yourself for who you truly are can help you feel happier, improve your life, and strengthen your identity. Follow your gut, do what you love, and explore your interests. The more you do to fuel your energy, the happier and more confident you’ll be.^[15]
   
   • Enroll in classes that spark your interest to learn a new skill or find a new passion.
   • Do things that are meaningful to you to help you feel fulfilled.^[16]

[Edit]Take care of yourself.

1. Sleep, food, and exercise can give you the energy you need to be better. If you don’t give your body the proper nutrition and rest it needs, you won’t be able to serve yourself or others. Stick to a regular routine that’s healthy for you, and watch how your mood changes for the better. When you support your physical health, you support your mental health.^[17]
   
   • Aim to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night to help your mind and body recharge.^[18]
   • Eat food that nourishes your mind and body. Aim to eat whole foods, but don’t restrict yourself—it’s okay to have a cookie every now and then!
   • Do a form of exercise you enjoy for at least 30 minutes every day. Maybe that’s walking, dancing, hiking, doing yoga, or kickboxing.

[Edit]Accept that change happens.

1. It’s okay if your goals don’t stay the same as you grow. The journey of self-improvement isn’t a straight path—it bends and twists when you least expect it! Because of this, your short-term and long-term goals may change as you go. This is completely normal and a sign that you’re becoming a better person. After all, you wouldn’t be adapting if you didn’t want to improve.^[19]
   
   • Try your best not to dwell on the past. Instead, focus on the present moment. Change is inevitable, but you can roll with the punches.

[Edit]Be kind to yourself.

1. Before learning to love others, you must learn to love yourself. Self-compassion may sound like the opposite of being a better person, but caring for yourself is the first step to improvement. After all, if you can’t care for yourself, how can you care for others? Try these exercises to help you be kinder to yourself:^[20]
   
   • Pretend you’re writing a letter to a friend in a similar situation. How would you talk them through it?
   • Place your hand over your heart and whisper positive affirmations to yourself when you’re down, like “I am safe,” “I am kind to myself,” and “I am smart and have a big heart.”
   • Note your accomplishments and achievements without criticism by responding rationally to self-critical thoughts. Acknowledge where the critic comes from and then prove it wrong in a logical way.^[21]
   • Look in the mirror every morning and compliment yourself. You could say something like, “You’re beautiful, no matter what,” or “You have the brightest smile.”

[Edit]Tips

• Follow the golden rule “treat others the way you want to be treated” to be a kind person.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Be a Good Listener
• Form a Spiritual Philosophy
• Be a Good Person That People Look up To

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161439_b01]. 16 June 2020.
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals
3. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition#why_practice
4. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy/definition#what_is
5. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/altruism/definition#what_is
6. ↑ https://www.waldenu.edu/programs/psychology/resource/the-pros-and-cons-of-comfort-zones
7. ↑ https://collegeinfogeek.com/self-education/
8. ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-self-improvement-secret-work-on-strengths/
9. ↑ http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx
10. ↑ https://www.bumc.bu.edu/facdev-medicine/files/2011/08/I-messages-handout.pdf
11. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition#why_practice
12. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
13. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/10_steps_to_savoring_the_good_things_in_life
14. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/7-tips-for-better-patience-yes-youll-need-to-practice/
15. ↑ https://repository.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1064;context=mapp_capstone
16. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_foolproof_ways_to_feel_more_joy_in_2015
17. ↑ https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers/Taking-Care-of-Yourself
18. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.html
19. ↑ https://www.fnu.edu/person/
20. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_self_compassion_beats_rumination
21. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/making-change/201107/how-stop-the-self-criticism-and-feel-better-about-you

source How to of the Day https://ift.tt/8NOdYFo