be more attractive: How to Become Happy Again

Sometimes, the world throws you a tough curve. If you're feeling depressed, either because of long-term clinical depression, or loss, or a break-up, you can learn to address how you're feeling and make yourself start to feel a little happier. It'll be a process, but you can get started learning how to help yourself.

Steps

Dealing With Long-Term Depression

Name what you're feeling. Recognize that what you are feeling is depression. This is an important step in getting better. Oftentimes, depression makes you feel as though this is how you are supposed to feel, and identifying your depression helps you to treat it.
- Write down how you feel, and do it regularly. This will help to mentally separate you from your depression, and allow you to analyze and track your emotions, as well as provide valuable information to any doctor you see for treatment.^[1]
Talk to your doctor about treatment options. Depression is often caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, which can be effectively treated with medication. Even if you suspect you're feeling this way for some other reason, talk to your doctor about your symptoms. Your doctor should be able to direct you to valuable resources to help return yourself to a healthy state of mind.
- Bring in your description of how you're feeling. Describe the severity and the consistency of the feelings. Be totally honest with your doctor.^[2]
Reach out to someone any time you can't control it. Depression is dangerous. It can make you feel isolated, worthless, and empty. No matter how severe you feel that your depression is, tell someone you trust.
- If you're feeling suicidal, call a hotline at any time and talk to someone:
  - 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
  - You can text 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)
  - LGBT Youth Suicide Hotline: 1-866-4-U-TREVOR
Write out a to-do list each day. Depression can make it feel like you have no sense of purpose. It can make it difficult to get out of bed each day, much less do anything productive when you're out. The world can be overwhelming. To help yourself stay motivated and focused, it's important to establish clear and simple goals.^[3]
- Write out a list of things, even simple things, that you can do today to make yourself productive. Don't be afraid to list out extremely small things, like "Brush your teeth" or "Pick up the kids" or "Eat something" or "Don't smoke." Focus on the little stuff you need to do.
- Write out your accomplishments each day at the end of the day, if that works better for you. Listing out everything that you did will help you focus on your successes.
Try to exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Your moods are impacted by lots of different factors, but if your body isn't getting what it needs, then your brain isn't either. Exercise is shown to have a direct effect on your mood and overall happiness, releasing endorphins that help to counteract the effect of stress on the body and make you feel happy.^[4]
- You don't have to be sporty, or a jock. Find something that you enjoy doing. Start jogging, or hiking. Play squash. Do something that you might enjoy.
- Make sure to get 8 hours of sleep every day, and at the same time every day. Rest is essential in keeping your energy levels even throughout the day, which affects mood.
Change your diet. What you eat affects your mood directly. Eating more complex carbohydrates and decreasing the amount of refined sugars and processed foods can help you feel better.^[5] Focus on getting as many leafy greens, whole grains, fresh vegetables, and fruits into your diet, and cutting out anything pre-prepared.
- Increase intake of omega 3 fatty acids (flaxseed, fish, walnuts, tofu): Omega 3 helps brain function and regulates mood
- Drink eight cups of water every day to stay hydrated. Lots of problems like headaches and tiredness can be attributed to minor dehydration, which can affect your mood as well.
Get some sun. Studies show some connection between the levels of Vitamin D and overall happiness.^[6] This is important for everyone, but especially in those with depression. Seasonal depression often occurs in the wintertime, when the days are shorter and we don't get a lot of sun. But a good dose of natural light will do wonders for your mood.
- If you live in a place with not a lot of sunlight, invest in a good light box. If these are too expensive for you, install bulbs in your lamps that have natural light as opposed to fluorescent light.

Moving on From a Break-Up

Let it take some time. Break-ups can be tough. Even if your relationship didn't last that long, it can be hard to see the end of the tunnel. If you can feel like you're suddenly alone in the world, Try to remember that you've been single before, and you'll figure out a way to get through this in time.
- Do the moping thing. Eat the ice cream. Watch the sappy Netflix movies. Let yourself be sad and go through the motions.
- Don't let it go too far. Don't mope around for more than a couple days for every month you were together with this person. There's such a thing as over-reacting when it comes to break-ups.
Stop communicating with your ex. If you want to start recovering, then you need to stop pouring salt in the wound. If your broke up with someone, stop talking to them. If they broke up with you, definitely stop talking to them. Avoid all contact, at least for a couple weeks.
- Unfriend or stop following this person on social networking. In fact, sometimes it's best to take a social media break if you're going through a break-up. Everyone's "I'm so happy on vacation" stuff will seem super-irritating. Don't make it worse by bingeing on Facebook.
- The "let's be friends after" thing? It almost never works. But even if you think you're an exception, it's still important to let yourself be separate for a while. Give yourself a few weeks at least before you try to be friends again.
Celebrate your new freedom. Breaking up doesn't have to be a somber affair. Even though, yes, now you might be alone, you're also free. If you want to wake up on Saturday morning, play loud music at the crack of dawn, and eat Cheetos in your bathrobe, who's going to complain? Nobody!
- Remember that thing that your ex hated? Yeah. Do that thing.
- Cut your hair off, or get a tattoo. Make a big change in your appearance that your ex would have hated. It'll feel good.
- Go out for a night with your friends and kick up your heels a bit. Live a little. Just don't go too crazy. Break-ups aren't a good excuse for getting nuts with tobacco, drugs, or alcohol.
Make the changes you want to make. Sometimes, break-ups can give you a great opportunity to better yourself. Find something that you always wanted to do, but couldn't because of your relationship. If your relationship was holding you back in any way, go for it now that you're single.
- Get in shape. Start exercising and working on getting fit. It'll help you feel better and more confident.
- Consider moving into a new place if you shared a place with your partner. There can be lingering ghosts there that'll be hard to ignore.
- Maybe it's time for an even bigger change. Why are you at your job? Why do you live where you live? What do you want to do? What would make you happy? Maybe it's time to move to Colorado and do that wilderness training.
Talk about it with someone close to you. There's no solution to the break-up problem, usually, but letting it out can be really helpful. Find a close friend or loved one to open up to and talk about how you're feeling. Even if you're a normally private person, it can be very helpful to open up to someone and start the process of feeling better.
Spend time with your friends. You need to be with people right now. Go out with your friends, or have people over when you just want to hang out and have a quiet night at home. Just be together and talk to people about other things. Watch sports, talk about work. Just be.
- Sometimes, you may just want to be alone. That's ok. If you really don't feel like being around a bunch of happy people right now, then stay home. But Try to recognize when you're being self-defeating, and when you're being honest with yourself.
Get busy. The more stuff you've got going on, the easier it is to avoid thinking about your ex. Sounds good right? Find something that will keep you busy so you can't slip back into depressive feelings.
- Throw yourself into work responsibilities. See if you can work extra hours or take on additional responsibilities. Making more money and climbing the ladder at work as a grieving process? Now that's productive.
- Find a new hobby. Sometimes, a break-up can be the perfect time to write that novel, or pick up bass guitar, or learn to scuba dive.
Start dating again, when the time is right. While it will seem awkward and strange at first, you'll meet someone eventually. Even if it doesn't work out, have some fun while you can and play the field. There are a lot of people to meet out there.
- Try not to compare your new partner to your old one. That can be very difficult at first. If you're not ready to meet and enjoy the company of someone for who they are, then you shouldn't be dating yet.
- To test the waters and see if you're ready, try dating online. It can seem intense at first, but it's also a good way of dipping a toe in the water and seeing if it feels comfortable. If it is, try meeting someone.

Moving on From a Death or Loss

Don't worry about doing it the "right" way. There is no one way to process grief. Lots of people struggle, thinking they should be feeling some particular way that they're not feeling. This can cause a lot of guilt, making things worse. If you're not sure how to act, try not to worry about it as much. Do what feels natural.
- Death is a part of life. It's not fun, but it doesn't have to be the sombre affair that many make it out to be. Find time to laugh in the face of death, if it's possible. Find the humor in a bleak situation.
Surround yourself with people who care about you. Having a people around you can help bring your overall mood up, even if you're not doing anything in particular. Talk about what you're going through, or talk about other things that are on your mind.
- Share memories of the person you've lost. Talk about the good times and share stories. Look at old pictures. Reminisce.
- Sometimes, it's better to avoid talking about the person or pet who died too much. It can be a good way to feel better for a while, but it can also just make it more depressing. Also take the time to talk sports, or movies, or anything else that comes up.
Find your own way to grieve. You may need time to yourself. It's great to stay social, to reminisce, and to go through the process. But it'll be different for everyone. Try to find a personal and particular way to grieve for the person you lost.
- Think of the relationship you had with this person. What did you share? How can you commemorate that relationship? What could you do that would make you feel better?
Get invested in something you love. Let grief make you busy, and let your business make you happier. Spend your time focusing on an obsession or an interest. Get busy being productive, and let your grief turn into productivity.
- If you love sports, practice your sport several times a week. Sweat out your grief.
- If you love fashion and beauty, start a blog and write about clothing or products. Explore new ways of enjoying your passion.
- If you enjoy playing instruments, learn a new song, or pick up a new technique that you've been meaning to practice.
- If you love learning and school, educate yourself further by devoting your time to your studies or watch the news. Head to the library.
Get out of the house regularly. Just being around people can be instructive while you're grieving. Go to public places as much as you can. Instead of making coffee at home, grab a cup at a local spot. Instead of reading the paper at home, read it at the library. Go to a movie instead of staying in and watching TV.
- It gives you perspective to notice that everyone is able to just go about their day, even though someone you love has died. The world doesn't end. Life goes on. The world keeps turning.