How to Deal With Bad Neighbours

Your neighbors' dog barks between the hours of 3 and 5 a.m., their teenager's music rattles your windows on the weekends, and somehow their trash keeps ending up on your lawn. Finding an effective but non-aggressive way to deal with bad neighbors is ideal, so start by kindly asking them to be more mindful of their actions. If being sweet doesn't get you anywhere, you might have to take more drastic measures – like talking to a lawyer or calling the cops. See Step 1 to learn how to deal with your neighbors starting right now.

Steps

Confronting the Problem

1. Leave a friendly note. If you have difficulty reaching your neighbors or you simply don't like talking face to face, you can leave a note expressing your wishes.^[1] Leaving a note can be a little risky, because there's a greater chance that it could be misinterpreted than there would be if you stated your concerns in person. It could be viewed as a rather passive-aggressive measure that puts your neighbors on the defensive. That said, sometimes leaving a note is the best option. Most people will feel a little embarrassed and immediately change their behavior to accommodate you.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Make sure the note is friendly in tone. Tell your neighbor that you'd like to find a solution that works for everyone.
   
   
   • If you're comfortable putting your phone number in the note and encouraging your neighbor to call you, do so. That way if your neighbor has any questions you can get them cleared up right away.
   
   
   
   


2. Try to talk it out. Have you tried the simplest method for getting what you what – simply speaking up and asking for it? Your discomfort might be completely obvious to you, but chances are your neighbors don't even know they're being a bother. While you're sitting there stewing and getting ready to boil over, they're happily playing their music or trampling your grass without realizing how angry it's making you. Instead of waiting until you're ready to blow and doing something passive aggressive, simply call up or visit your neighbors and request that they address the problem.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Ask nicely, but make your point. Ask for exactly what you want instead of being vague and keeping them guessing. It's not fair to expect them to be able to read your mind and know your limits – you need to tell them what you want.
   
   
   • Make sure that what you're asking for is fair, and be willing to compromise. While you might be happy to never again have to hear the teenage son practicing tuba, it's probably not practical to ask your neighbors to soundproof their garage. Figure out a compromise that keeps both of you happy.
   
   
   
   


3. Form an alliance with other neighbors. If an issue is affecting you, chances are it's affecting everyone on the block or in the building. Talk with your other neighbors to find out if they're willing to have a group discussion with the neighbors at fault. There is strength in numbers, and being approached by an entire group instead of a single person could be what it takes to get the bad neighbors to change.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • This doesn't mean you and your neighbors should storm the bad neighbors' house or apartment – that could get out of hand and make the neighbor feel threatened. Instead, compose a note and have everyone sign it, or start a group email and have everyone chime in.
   
   
   • For a face to face confrontation, invite everyone to your house or yard, and invite the bad neighbor over as well. Have a polite discussion during which everyone gets a chance to speak and express what solutions they would like to see.
   
   
   
   


4. Consider starting to write everything down. If you've left a note, had a chat, your good neighbors have gotten involved, and still nothing is happen, you're in a sketchy situation. It may be in your best to start documenting your actions, just for good measure. That way, should any heated arguments crop up or legal measures get taken, you can accurately give proof of the peaceful strides you took initially.
   
   
   
   • Consider writing down each time when you reached out about the problem (or when someone else you know did). Mark the date and time and a brief synopsis of what was done or said. This will be easy reference for later if you're ever accused of "jumping to conclusions" or "making mountains out of molehills."
   
   
   
   

Getting Your Neighbors to Comply

1. Get to know them better. Is your neighbor nameless and faceless, or do you actually know each other? It's a lot harder to care about someone you've never met, and resentment can build quickly when neighbors don't bother forming a relationship with each other. The best way to get what you want – some peace and quiet on the weekends, for example – might be to forge a relationship with your neighbor so you understand each other better and are more willing to be considerate. You don't have to end up as best friends, but seeing each other as people is a good start to increased neighborliness.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Why not invite your neighbors over for a meal? Ask them to come over when you're having a summer cookout, or invite them for pancakes on a Saturday morning. Get to know each other before you make any requests.
   
   
   • If inviting them into your space is a bit much, you could take over a bottle of wine or some home-baked cookies and introduce yourself.
   
   
   
   


2. Behave in a neighborly way yourself. Make sure you aren't doing anything that could be getting on other people's nerves before you bring up the problem. You don't want your neighbors to have the leverage to simply fire back that you should take a look at your own irritating habits. Mow your lawn, don't play loud music, and be as considerate as you want your neighbors to be. Hopefully they'll follow your example and correct the problem without your having to intervene.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Make sure you're not picking them out, either. If they play music at 3 AM, Ken and Janet three houses down shouldn't be able to get away with it themselves. Everyone in the immediate area needs to be held accountable or they could use that as an easy excuse to not change their habits.
   
   
   
   


3. Offer to help out. Depending on what you're asking your neighbors to do, they might be more amenable if you offer to help them make it happen. For example, if you like a nice, neat yard and are tired of seeing their unkempt weeds all summer long, you could offer to help them get the yard back in shape. Don't offer to do more than you're actually up for, though, or you could find yourself doing your neighbors' yard work for free.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Sometimes we have to put ourselves in others' shoes. Maybe your neighbor is single mom who can't afford childcare, so while she's at work her kids are running around. She certainly isn't asking to be yelled at – she's just trying to make ends meet. Try to find out what the situation is; maybe you could lend a hand.
   
   
   
   


4. See if you're overreacting. Is it possible that you aren't being a patient neighbor? Living in a neighborhood means getting up in each other's business from time to time – it just can't be helped. Unless you want to live by yourself in the woods, you're going to encounter your neighbors' quirks. Think about whether or not it's possible that you're being a bit ornery about the whole thing.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Of course, you have the right to enjoy where you live, and there are certain things you shouldn't put up with. Don't let something go if it's interfering with your health and happiness.
   
   
   
   


5. Pick your battles. Don't give your neighbors a laundry list of problems you want them to address – it won't go over well. Figure out what you can live with and what must change, and only present your neighbors with problems that are driving you crazy. Once the main issues are solved, you can get to the smaller matters at a later date.^[2]
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Come up with two lists: one that is the most doable for them and one that's the habits that annoy you the most. Whatever averages out to the top of both lists is the one that will make the most difference to you and be the most likely to happen.
   
   
   
   

Taking Drastic Measures

1. Document the problem you're facing. If you tried asking nicely and your neighbors weren't responsive, it's time to take more drastic measures. Begin by documenting the problem so that you can back yourself up if you have to involve the authorities. Take pictures of property damage, take video of parties that spill into your yard after midnight, save emails and notes, and so on. Basically, gather proof that your neighbors are trespassing or otherwise engaged in illegal activity.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • You may wish to inform your neighbors that you're doing this or "accidentally" get caught doing it. When they know you're hard on their trail, that may be the motivation they need to quit pulling those stunts.
   
   
   
   


2. Call the landlord to complain. If you live in an apartment building, it's time to get the landlord involved. Call him or her and explain how your neighbor is disturbing the peace in your living space. Depending on the infraction, the landlord might decide that he or she has grounds to evict the bad neighbors. At the very least, the landlord should discuss the issue with the bad neighbors so you don't have to keep complaining.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Landlords know that bad tenants make the whole apartment block not want to live there. You're not inconveniencing him or her – you're potentially saving him a whole bunch of worry when all the leases are up. No one wants to live there for another year thanks to them – it's unlikely you're the only one.
   
   
   
   


3. Find out if they're breaking the law. If the bad neighbors still won't change, figure out what legal action is available to you. Get familiar with your local laws and determine whether your neighbor is breaking any. If your neighbor is in violation of any laws, you might be able to take action. Look up laws on the following:
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • Trespassing
   
   
   • Property destruction
   
   
   • Noise violations
   
   
   • Barking laws
   
   
   • Laws regarding property maintenance
   
   
   
   


4. Call the police or another authority. Getting the police involved is another way to shock your neighbors into changing.^[3] If you find that they're violating a law, you can call the police to address the issue so you don't have to get involved. Reserve this measure for situations that are getting out of control, since you don't want to use emergency services to solve a minor dispute between neighbors.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • If the issue is loud music, call the non-emergency police number.
   
   
   • For unkempt yards, call the Homeowners Association (where applicable) or the city nuisance abatement officer. Most cities have nuisance abatement, or code enforcement officers, who are responsible for maintaining code compliance.
   
   
   
   


5. Inform the bad neighbors you're taking legal action. Once you've determined that the neighbors are indeed breaking a law, and you've collected some evidence to prove it, let them know that you plan to take legal action. You don't have to give details – just tell them that you're planning to take this to the next level. They probably won't want to get tangled up in legal issues, so just telling them that you're prepared to sue will probably make them decide to change.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • That is, if you're actually taking legal action. Don't be the boy who cried wolf. Use this as a last resort and mean it if you're going to say it. Otherwise they have no reason to take you seriously.
   
   
   
   


6. Talk to a lawyer about your options. If you're willing to put your money where your mouth is, call a lawyer and figure out what you can do. You must decide whether solving the problem is worth the headache of legal fees and open contention with your neighbors. If you're set on getting this matter settled legally, work with your lawyer to file a lawsuit and potentially bring your neighbors to small claims court.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   • If nothing else, you may be able to work out with your landlord to get out of your lease without breaking it illegally. If you've alerted him to the situation and he's done nothing about it, it certainly doesn't make him look good, so he may let you go – especially if you're going to get a lawyer involved. Consider this compromise instead of getting dragged into hours of court time and court fees that even you probably don't want to deal with.
   
   
   
   

Tips

• Check your local laws using the town website; sometimes local laws are published on "http://ift.tt/1wj6Vmr". Armed with your city ordinances, you can request the police to enforce laws on blocked sidewalks, dog feces, etc.


• Put up a fence, if pets are your problem, then this will keep them out of your yard. If their yard looks horrible, put up a 4 foot, non-transparent fence.


• Do not be afraid to contact authorities. You won't be considered a tattletale if it's bothering most of the neighborhood.

Warnings

• The most important thing you should never do is threaten your neighbours, this will just make matters worst, keep your words to yourself.


• Stay on your own property, as trespassing will just incite them. Walking to someone's front door is allowed, but walking into a yard is illegal.

Related wikiHows

• How to Be a Good Neighbour


• How to Deal With a Noisy Neighbour


• How to Deal With Your Neighbour's Unsightly Property


• How to Prevent a Bad Neighbour from Visiting You Without Being Rude


• How to Get Neighborhood Children to Knock Before Entering


• How to Hide a Fence

Sources and Citations

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source How to of the Day http://ift.tt/1q9Vqd9